If only I had been

faster


If only I had been

enough


If only you had loved me,
then perhaps I could have loved you,
and then you would have

stayed


If only people were

understanding


If only they had

listened


If only they hadn't broken your trust,
then you could give it to me,
and then you would have

stayed


If only you were still

here


If only I had the guts to tell you

before


If only I had seen what was going on,
then I could have helped,
and then you would have

stayed

How fragile we all are
Containing fragments of our being
Collected pieces of Hate love
Joy sorrow strength
Glued together in time
Healed by love

I have become a single row of dots in your galaxy
eddying in whirlpools of violet blue infinity,
My desire lava-hot and blasted by the soundless wind
I form then part ceaselessly against the background
of one nebula after another,
Traveling for aeons
only to finally emerge,
A yearning comet
Shining and shimmering against your night sky...

In the last few years
I have written
My thoughts and the many emotions
Sometimes I have let them flow
in words I know
Other times have let them simmer and vaporise
There is Knowledge gained and wisdom too
Many times both evade, dimmed by hazy thoughts
Lessons that I have learned and try to implement
To never share the joys and sorrows
with people who don’t understand, neither
And that knowledge and ignorance can both be bliss
When gained
And when one learns to ignore