Drifting of
I cannot sleep
500 and counting
Woolly sheep
Got up
paced about
Half a bottle
of whisky
Maybe a
good shout.
Not so good
i drunk
The bottle
Plans next day
I had
to scuttle,
Hungover and wasted
Don’t like
the light
Let’s do
it again
When i can’t sleep
Tonight.

We all done
A term
As a little
*****
Some much
longer
Than others,
We were all
Born in our
mothers womb
And popped out
Sisters and brothers.

Ball stopped rolling
Mis understood
Too many ifs
Too many could’s.
Stuck out
in the
Freezing cold
Down the
river
I’ve been
sold.
Up **** creek
Without a paddle
Been entered
for
The
donkey
derby
No sign of a saddle.
Life for me is just
Mess
I might chop me
***** of and start
wearing
A dress.

Sky pundits
Call it the
Beautiful
Game
So why do
They cheat
It’s such a
Shame.
Players
Pretending to be
Be hurt
Cheaters don’t
Deserve to wear
The shirt.
Feathers Macgraw
Rolling Around
On the grass
Another
one shot
He’s on his ****,
Coaches and players
Are all to blame
For putting football
To ****** shame.

Good morning people
It’s good to be alive
I’ve gotten out of bed
On the happy side.
Dog on a lead
We’re  of for a walk
To see the
village people
And have
a good talk,
Down by the riverside
The dog jumped in
****** good thing
That doggies
can swim.
Mouth quite dry
Nice blue sky
Down to the pub
The dog knows why.
Crisps for the dog
Guinness a pleasure
Village life it’s such
A treasure.

Sitting on the balcony
Soaking up the sun
Smoking
drinking,
Chatting
having some fun.
She Popped
some pills
She gave a cough
Then my girlfriend
Decided to jump off.
Sitting on the balcony
Was soaking up the sun
Why did she do it?
Spoil all our fun.

I am what I am
You is what you is
Sometimes we score
Some times we miss.
Im not you
Your not me
There is no
Freedom
In democracy.
You are you
I am me
There’s no deep
Pockets in
The cemetery .
Life’s not fair
We breathe
The same air.
The world is ours
To Peacefully share.
Sometimes we score
Sometimes we miss
Society’s hierarchy
Has to stop taking
The ****.

Solved a problem
With employment
Uneducated me
Im raising the school
Leaving age
To just sixty three

Solved the problem
With guns and the poppers,
Give mothers free Durex
They do make good
crime stoppers

Solved the problem
Of being overweight a
Diet that has no doubt
Don’t let anything
Through your opening
You’re  Big  north and south.

Solved the problem
Of  a noisy neighbour
So I did my friends
A kindly favour
With my money
I brought a gun
You can guess
What happened
I had some fun.

Solved the problem
Of the driver who
Drove carelessly
With speed.
Semtex I put
under the dash
When it went of
He died and crashed
No more accidents
Caused by speed
Because this *******
Driver is pushing up
Weeds.

Solved the problem
Of society’s crooks
Cut of their hair
Charge up the chair

Solve the problem
Of media trolls
There arseholes
Slush and slurry
When they order
A takeaway
Put lots of arsenic
In there curry

Morning has broken
Door is a jar
I got no legs
I can’t go far
Waiting for
My wife
Anne Marie
A wonderful
woman
She cares
For  me.
The three of us
We like to share
Me ,Marie and
My wheel chair.

Mary and William
Husband and wife
William cometh
Mary accepts
Is making love
Just poetry ***.
***** and ****
Loved poetry ***
**** would give
***** would accept
Funny thing the
Mating game
Some would say
It’s just all
in the name.

Twelve o’clock
It’s no lie
Im going
to commit
Suicide
Shall I jump
From a ridge
Or
Jump in front
Of a train
From a
Very high
bridge.
Shall I take
sleeping pills
Swallow a bottle of
Of bleach
Or hang myself
From the ceiling
Where my feet
Cannot reach.
Can’t make my mind up
I truly haven’t lied
So I’ve left
It to the
Readers
It’s up
To  you
To decide.

****** bill
Came over
The hill
To
**** **** ****
**** ****.
Bullet proof
Dave who
Was highly
Paid
Had to try
And put him
In his grave.
This wasn’t easier
Said than done
Cause bullet proof
Dave
Thought it
would be
Spoiling
his fun.
****** bill
And bullet
Proof Dave
Were born
Identical twins
In this little battle
Between good and bad
Who do you want
To win

As I stroll
These city roads
Watching people
With heavy loads.
They don’t
say hello
Seem never
to smile,
Just a pedestrian
In another mile.
Red light
Green light
Unaware
These city
Streets
They seem
So bare.

One day in
2025
Another slaughter
Mothers fathers
Sons and daughters
It’s a weird game
Humans play
Why does cruelty
Have its day.
Land of love
Land of peace
Is just a distant dream
Ask the people
Who were involved
Can you
hear their
Screams.
What can you do
When animals play
Terror my friends
Will never
never
go away

got
Writers block
Trying something
Different
will only
Wear one sock.
Do something
Different
Be unkind
Try anything
To unblock
the mind.
Imagination
Let it Run riot
Jolt the memory
Bang a drum
Have an ice cream
Try to fry it.
Wear a shoe
On the foot
with
No sock
Close your eyes
Pretend to be blind
Phone the mother
In-law up
try to be kind
Try to have *** with the
Cat
Second thoughts don’t do that
Trying hard
to
put stylus
to I pad
No more
writings it’s
Making one sad.
Imagination
Still ****** black
Hoping one day I’ll
Be back.
Oh well.

What will
This year
Bring 2025
Will it be
A good year
For Our species
To survive.
This animal
Called human
Needs conflict
And love,
Stars are crying
For humanity
In that space above.
Misery and happiness
Apart they shall be torn
In this year 2025
A new year is born.

Shoes are soulless
Void of pace
My time nearly up
In this human race.
For many a year
I’ve
Been hiding
behind a
fruitless face,
Can’t keep up
There’s no
more chase,
My next stop
the cemetery
and
this
will
Be
My final
resting
Place.

You have no sight
But beautiful eyes
Your sunshine mind
Your elegant poise
Counteracts that
You can’t hear noise
I love you
So very much so
When we make love
Everything’s fruitful
With tender touch.

Everyone in
poetry land
That have
Read my
Doggerel
Rhymes
Wish you all
A happy new year
Enjoy this winter time.

Twist in the tale
Of old mother Hubbard
She went from a mansion
To living in a cupboard
All those children she
Didn’t know what to do
She downsized again
And Took residency
In an oversized shoe.
Humpty Dumpty
Became her lover
With his wealth
She began to recover.
With All her children
Behind in tow
Up the property ladder
She would go.
She Brought an orphanage
Where her children
Would grow.
Humpty and Hubbard
Had a wonderful life
They actually
Did it became
Man and wife.

Yippee I’ve won
The lottery
Picked some numbers
Now out of poverty.
Buy a big mansion
Buy a Rolls Royce
Let’s have a big party
Let’s ******* rejoice.
Buy a big jet
Sights to see
Attract beautiful
Women
just right
For me
Spend spend spend
That’s what I did
Unfortunately
For me
I had only
won
Twenty quid.

Two twins were born
One summer morn
There names are
Morphine and happiness
Morphine was good
Happiness bad
Morphine was happy
Happiness was sad
Morphine was clever
Happiness thick
Morphine was well
Happiness sick
Morphine died
Happiness cried
And faded away

Lost in a movie
I am really there
Im wandering
Empty cinemas
With ***** chairs.
I am living inside a
Worn out script
Acting in horrors
Wandering in crypts.
Acting characters
Some are shady
Still wandering
Empty cinemas
To find my leading
Lady

A wishing well
In village square
Throw a coin
My wife she dared
Be careful what
You wish for
Wishes come true
My imagination
Ran wild what
Was I to do.
Next morning
I woke
With my wife
Beside
That smart old
Wishing well
Knew I had lied.

Colours life
Darkness fear
I’ve passed away
Inside a tear.
My body
has passed
Memories
Will stay,
In a rose garden
My spirit
will play

People see us
Everywhere
They think
We really care
But I know it’s
All just a lie
I wish you
Would  go
And *******
Die
Look my dear
I can’t deceive
Your not worthy
To be make
Believe.
So when you
Die
I shall not tear
You rotten hag
You ***** smear.
She says the feelings
Are Mutual
what shall we do
Cause I love me
And you love you.

My cat Molly
A loving cat
Died of cancer
And Thats
Just that

Twisted days
Forgotten
How to pray
Boots are
Heavy
Walking in clay
Lost my way
Lost the day
Lost playgrounds
Lost how to pray
Searching for
Happiness
That don’t exist
I’ve drunk to
Much I feel
Quite ******.
I must find away
Find the day
Find the playgrounds
So I can pray.
These boots of mine
Shall find the time
So my existence
Can fall in line
No more bottle
To lose the day
Maybe hopeful
And learn to pray.

Musical notes
With out
A stave,
Walking dead
Who have
No grave.
Chains lacking
Lock and key
Lost in time
That’s only me.
Cuckoo clock
Who’s lost its
Chime
A criminal
Who can’t
Find a Crime
All of these
things
Lost in time.
Old sea dog
Lost at sea
Serial killers
Never to be free.
Ladders without
A single rung
A song
with no
Lyrics
can’t be
Sung.
Loneliness
lost in time,
The cuckoo clock
Who’s lost all time.

Touch of velvet
Orchid blue
Heart of innocence
Scented true

Teddy bear
Sitting there
Teddy bear
Unaware.
Looks at me
Never smiles
Been sitting
There for a while.
Daughter won it
At a fair
This wonderful
Never smiling
Teddy bear
.Her colour of rust
Is Collecting dust
One day
I will move
her
Give her
a cuddle
And a ******
good hoover,
My never smiling
teddy bear.
She has a T shirt
That says number one
Dad
Pity teddies can’t talk
I find that rather sad.

To all the poets
That read my
Rhymes
Im in a cell
For committing
A crime
I cannot respond
To your lovely
Replies
Cause everything
I write
Is just ******* lie.
I was set up
By my evil quill
Writing slander
Was top of the bill,
I have to write
Lies from my
prison cell
Twenty years
Or life oh *******.

Rhubarb steak
Kingfisher stew,
Any food you like
This chef
will
Cook
for you.
Bees on toast
Hedgehog in honey
Put your order in
Pay your money.
Skewered rat
Roasted cat
Soup of the day
Escargot and bat.
Warthog eyes
Testicles of horse
Nice and tasty
Your main course.
Goldfish roulade
Salt and vinegar cream
Washed down with
***** of goat or a
Bottle of Jim Beam
A little appetiser
To finish the meal
Two nice crackers
With pate of seal.
Michelin stars
Five at most
Special of the day
Are
Spleens
on toast.

The poem killer
On the prowl
Doing ***** deeds
****** most fowl,
Grammar wrong
Will erase mistakes
Post on line
As works of fake.
Smelling mistakes
Words not smelt right
Poems will  die
without
A fight.
The poem killer
Poets dread
That their works
Will never be red.
These doggerel rhymes
Not fit to reed
As a righter
Shall I **** seed.

Heart broken
Fiery tears
Drowned my
Sorrows
Twenty beers.
Sitting on my
Toilet seat
Staring blankly
At my feet.
Won’t be moving
Anywhere soon
Life is flat
Like a lead balloon.
Mixed up sick
With a number two
Thats my night out,
Straight down the loo.
We’ve all been there
Without a doubt
Breaking up Thats
What its about.

First of January
New year is born,
First of February
A frosty morn.
First of March
New life begins
First of April
The birdies sing.
First of may
Sun warms the day
First of June
The children play.
First of July
Roses bloom
First of August
Newlyweds
get a room.
First of September
Nearer winter
First of October
Nature splinters.
First of November
Winter begins
First of December
Month of Christmas
Begins.

Wicked witch
In tattooed skin
On besom stick
Love me within.

Hour glass figure
Voluptuous *******
*******
I need a rest .

Piercing eyes
Glorious prose
Beauty personified
Head to your toes.

Scent of a rose
Fantastic pose.
Wicked  witch
with
Out a doubt
Just asking
Why do your
Lips look like
A trout.

Bonsai Japanese
Tiny small wood shrubbery
Seventeen potted.

Happy mountain high
Thermals eagles flying sky
Glistening blue tarn.

Meadow pipet wing
Rhythm bluebells joyous sing
Deers aloof feasting.

Living in a shed
With Robin Hood
Cinderella
and
father ted.
Dracula
Frankenstein
Thatcher
Lenin
All are dead
There’s ghostly
Going on’s
In my shed.
Jack the Ripper
The local stripper
We’re
Not easily led
But somehow now
Residing in my shed.
Dennis the menace
Joan of arc
Got up to mischief
When it got dark,
All these people residing
In my shed
Im evicting myself
And taking the bed.

Climb the highest
Mountain
Swam seven seas,
Surfed volcanic lava
Endured deep freeze.
Cycled million miles
To see you smile
Trawled outer space
To set eyes on your face.
I would do anything
For love so stop your
Complaining
I can’t come over
It’s ******* raining.

I met a budgie
High on a perch
I asked where
You going
What do you
Search,
I flew out the
Window now I’m
Free
So I ate the budgie
It was
Fine by me,
Freedom is dangerous
You must have rules
I think this meal
was a stupid fool.

Cotton wool bombs
Razor blade rain
Showers
In my head
Going insane.
Catch 22
With nothing
To do
Barbed wire feet
Not a ******* clue.
Ten thousand volts
Flow through
My veins
Wake up every
Morning
It’s the  *******
same
Going mad
Gone insane.

Harlot and a
Thief
Was a wonderful
Moment
But to brief
She had a heart
Ice cold rock
Loving her
Gave me
A nasty shock.
In the end
She stole my
Heart
I felt lonely
Ripped apart.

We crossed
The stream
On stepping
Stones
To a peaceful
Place
To be alone.
We sat under
Shaded tree
That’s where
We had our
First kiss
You and me.
Scented you were
The sun did shine
We etched our names
In the tree of time.

The essence
Of life
Is being there
In tune with
Your surroundings
Being aware
If you can receive
But do not give
then Life is halved
In which you live.

Innocence white
Sadness grey
Colours help
Through the day.
Golden heart
True blue
Seas of colour
For me and you.
Red cherries
Blue berries
Let these
Colours flow,
Into the
***
At the end
of your
Rainbow.

Brain is mash
Cannot cope
Not happy
Lost all hope.
Despair creeps in
Well being crashed
Deep in ****
Body thrashed
Cancer hit
Life’s been dashed.
Im running scared
Death unprepared
Im losing the game
Crying shame
Had a good time
From my birth
No more time
On Mother Earth
Oh well

Hedgehog hedgehog
In sadden mode
Finding his mate
Flattened on road.
Spikey needs a
To find a friend
Because his flatmate
Met his end.

Smiling mountain
Glistening tarn
Whistling wind
Wooden barn.
****** of crows
On muddy fields
Pecking heads as
The day builds.
Enigma of stone
Nature is born
Sun drenched days
On golden corn.
Watching skywards
For Birds of prey
Bluebells dancing
While animals play.
Tuneful starlings
Thousands in flight
Raucous  of noise
Beauty in sight.
Dogs walking
Ramblers talking
Pastures smile
Crooked stiles
Lovely thoughts
So
Stay awhile.
Day is folding
Into night
Wildlife slumber
Into fading light.
Morning breaks
On another day
Tarn still glistening
As nature plays
Happy mountain
Soaking up the sun
Countryside dreaming
So much fun.

What’s on
the news
Today
Everything
Is wonderful
Everything’s
Amazing
I don’t
believe it
Do they
Know what
They are saying.
Newsreaders
High on hope
Me I think
been
Smoking dope.
What’s on
the news
Today
Phone hacking
Car jacking
Bit of Stabbing
Covid jabbing
Immigrants boats
coming ashore
Coverage of ill
fated war.
What’s on
The news
Today
If your like me
Don’t watch
News on TV