Going on master chef
Beans on toast
Soup in a basket
And a Hedgehog roast
Black pudding trifle
Slow worm cake
Soup in a basket
Sheeps eye,and kipper bake,
Human brains
On a bed of frogs
All washed down
With ***** of hogs.
orange purée topped with pear
All eaten together with zebra hair
just give me ten Michi Michi  Star
Cause I believe I will not go far
***** Craddock turn in your grave
Just cooked a meal for Greg and Dave

Lilly so innocence
Mother a crow
Father despotic
Would not let her grow
Living in a shadow
Behind a blink of an eye
Thoughts of suicide
Lilly would cry,
Years ebbed away
Time stood still
Mother and father
Lilly would ****.
Lilies hurt made the courtroom cry
The question is did they deserve to die

Affected by rows of many crosses
Casualties of war,so many losses
Walking for miles,names on wood
are warring factions ever understood
Unknown soldiers on Memorials of stone
I walk among the dead never to be alone
Not really understanding there sacrifice
warring factions, must pay the price.

Human touch
Baby smile
Family tree
My world

Muslims,Christians
Arabs and Jews
Earth the ***
Humanity the stew.

Hindu's Catholics
Sky still blue
Here's a few more
For thee earthly stew.

Buddhists,Protestants
Hearts are true
Earth the ingredience
Humanity the stew.

humanity the stew,
Mothernature the ***
billions of people
Only getting one shot.

I'm twenty watts
A little bit dim,
Intelligent not I
It's not all grim.
Grey cells,little weak
talk in riddles
Tongue in cheek
Twenty watts a little dim
Ten watts for me
Eleven watts for him

Roses on my piano
Play me a song
Tulips on my *****
I'm in heaven

Happy death day to me
Happy death day to me
My life,now is over
Happy death day to me

Walking cobbles,dim lit streets
Warm of heart,****** cold feet
Winters night,stars shine bright
Meeting a lover,my guiding light
We walk awhile,lips meet sweet
Warm of heart,now warm of feet.
A bottle of wine,two lovers drink
High on happiness,two hearts link.

Politicians,political Billies
vote for blobby and mr silly,
Filibusters ****** speeches
Grab your money,******* leeches
If you don't no whom to vote
Put your cross on Mcgintys goat.
Immigration,100 billion pounds
We are Europe as daft as it sounds,
Little America to be ruled by trump
UKIP has made us a national chump
I'm not voting I'm going to abstain
Not upping sticks or moving to Spain.
National insurance number that's who we our
So vote for noddy in his little red car.
Political nonsense democratic farce
Carry on voting we'll cross my ****.

I wandered lonely as a loon
floating high on many pills
All at once I saw a crowd
Of drunkards and my mate bill.
Outside the bread inside the cheese
*******,fighting on the wheeze.
Continuous drinking,bars that serve wine
Smoking milky ways,
Never bleeding ending
Not enough hours in the days
Home I got, I peed on my couch did I
Was in a terrible paranoid mood
flashes of **** grabbed my eye
I'm glad I was in solitude
Watching **** I had my fill
Me couldn't give a **** about those daffowhats
My head hurts jobsworth.

Machine gun streets
Bullet ridden city,
Homicides a plenty
prostitutes are looking pretty.

Drive by killers
Revenge attacks,
Gangsters being unruly
All Dressed in black.

blood stained sidewalks
Wailing of siren,flash
Drugs doing business
Hands changing cash

Robbing off the thief
Buying of the corrupt
Judges commiting perjury
As these streets slowly erupts

Notifying hell
impending demise
Need a room with a view
And a bag of French fries
The host is a ghost
With head of horns
Doomed I was ,since
The day I was born.
Evil flowed through my
troublesome veins
Where ever I ****
It left a black stain.
Life did **** I was not to wise
So I'm notifying hell
Of my impending demise

Express train chuffing
Inside the skull.
It's raging
Red to a fat face bull,
vipers,snipers everywhere
mind so dark
It's really not fair
Chemical,chemicals
Saturate the brain
Barbwiring me up
Inside acid rain

Flabbergasted
Befuddle
One congealed mess
This was me when
Your love became less,
Shocked and confused
i had done nothing wrong
You just can't change
words in our beautiful song.
broken of heart and
Empty of pleasure
memories of you
I will always treasure.

You Shuffle my emotions
With your slight of hand
why can't you be true?
My emotions you shuffle
By Controlling the deck
It's pain and love
With a noose round my neck
Why can't you be true?
Manipulating my emotions
You play if it's a game,
Befuddling thee issues
It's a crying shame.
Why can't you be true

They gave me a room
In psychoville,
Three square meals
One red pill,
They gave me a room
In madnessville
Repeat repeat as
Time stood still.
They gave me a room
In suicideville
Thoughts were dark
**** **** ****.
visiting times,
In loonyville
is half past chicory
And quarter to dill.
Push me along in me four wheeled chair
madness lies between thee Apple and pear

There Was i on the gallows
I had committed a heinous crime.
Robbed a bank,killed a cop
So now its realisation time.
Wooden overcoat,I was about to wear
So I gave the hangman one happy stare,
blew a kiss to the beautiful world,
Then popped out me crooked tongue,
Then everything went deathly silent,
I knew all me songs had been sung

The world is under chemical attack
Run to your shelters it's going to get black.
A virus is coming it turns brains to slime
its started already,no turning back time.
Billions and billions are going to die
No time to wonder,no time to cry.
Masks not needed it's in thee air
Nobody but nobody will be spared
The earth has been poisoned
It's a terrible sphere
Now everything living must feel the fear.

Loneliness quite of house
Death of a mother.
Loneliness lost in time
Death of a lover,
Loneliness mixed emotion
Death of a friend
Loneliness broken of heart
Death of a wife
Loneliness,life so bleak
Is it suicide,which I seek.
Loneliness without a hand
Only the lonely will understand.

Walking among tombstones
Being at home with the dead
Living with footsteps that leave no tread
Smell of the corpse,the odour of hell
Come and join me,have no story to tell.
we can drink some wine entwine as one
Walking among tombstones can be so much fun
Read my name, read thee epitaph
On the road to hell it could be a laugh
Living with footsteps that make no sound
To walk with me ,you must enter the ground

Tinker,tailor,soldier spy
One of these work for thee FBI.
four jolly bed fellows
Twists and turns,
Three of these have to
Jolly well burn.
Who are the baddies
Working for the KGB
work it out
Send the codes to me
Take them out
In your own time
You have clearance
We're cover up the crime

Work work
Cradle to grave
Mortgage
Imprisoned
Who's the slave
Slaves for money
And a slice of bread
All for what
You end up dead.
time on earth is only lent
breathing is so better spent
dance yourself through the living flame
Slaves to our address its a crying shame..

One legged chap he tried to kick ****
It wasn't a problem he always came last
Having a leg to the tune of one
Handicap of two just wouldn't be fun.
This competition,it's a competitive game
Two legs was cheating you had to be lame.
Some would say this sport is a ****** farce
Watching one legged sportsman fall on their ****
next sport to be held was head butting the spear
This pastime needed new competitors year after year.
Mine field hockey not for the faint of heart
I've lost interest so going back to the start

Kissed me mother
She's about to die
Captured that moment
Tears I cried
Laying together
Grasping of hands
Death of a mother
Never did understand

Riding along on a nuclear bomb
Rather good I say,smiling aplomb
Tipping the bowler oozing with style
Kiss my sweet lips,please stay awhile.
Jumping prancing on radioactive waste
Rather good I say,wonderful to taste.
Proper fop, in me whistle and flute
Would you dance with me in your birthday suit
Hopped around the globe,Melbourne to Devon
Putting 50 million roulette on unlucky number seven
All this bravado I'm not frightened to die
Can you make love to me and make me cry

Their i was in a gene pool of fools
I think they called it a secondary school
Napoleon,Stalin and me mate gunga din
Four walls surrounded educated within
Adolph ******, ghandi me mate po ***
We gave education one hell of a shot
Kennedy brothers and me mate Luther King
Assembly started and the gene pool would sing
Alexander the Great and me mate Johnny cash
All in it together giving school days a bash
This gene pool of fools,a dastardly bad bunch
Even invited Hannibal lector for Sunday lunch
School days were good with all my weird guys
They will be remembered  not shall I

Three blind mice
Killers on the loose
1st on their bucket list
Is old mother goose
mother goose double crossed them
Stole their share of the swag
Now it was retribution time
To take down the low life hag
2nd on their bucket list
Is bad boy Father Time
He took out the 4th blind mice
He must now pay for that crime
Kneecapping wasn't good enough
Bullet to the head to quick
So those three blind mice took to him
And Pummelled him with a stick.
3rd on their list was the lady they call old mother freeze
She tried to starve them out, she pinched their tasty cheese
headquarters the mice found was one giant smell shoe
so they hatched a scheme to take out her motley crew
The scheme a bit shabby and all together pretty vague
What happened next ? They had started the ****** plague
Killers on the loose going some what over the top
So Next they started a fire in a bakers shop
See 4th On the list was this **** riddled city
They tried to get rid of us by making it rather pretty
These three blind mice were just plain called ***** rats
Next on the agenda were all ginger pesky cats

Bomb with a conscience
Bomb wanted more time
Bomb with a loving heart
It just didn't want to do crime.
The clock was ticking
Time was ebbing away
Explosive thoughts
Of another grey day.
This bomb had a heart
Couldn't **** or make fires
Suicide was the only option
so it sliced its own wires.
Tick tock,tick tock,tick tock.
Bomb now deceased
Bomb now released
To wander on through time
this bomb did have a conscience
Now lives in a twelve o'clock chime.

Hi all out there in ga ga land
Let's just sing and dance
Let's take in some alcohol
Play a game of chance.
Hug a tree,kiss a stranger
Live a little,beware the danger.
let's run naked through the trees
Feel the freshness of the breeze.
Lay yourself down on pastures new
Be good to oneself,and try not to be blue.
Blow some kisses to the stars!
Smile broadly at the moon
Take in lots of  good and tempting
Before the popping of  the balloon

Ghostly goings on in my underpants
Where me found ****** sycophants
Brown little creepers with longish tongue
Ghosties have got me by the ghoulies
Somehow it doesn't seem wrong.
Natures little crawlers rising to the top
If they don't release my ghoulies
There all be for the chop

The Romans couldn't do it
****** tried in vain
Ghenghis Khan
Alexander the Great
All died just the same.
Empires of the sun have tried it
To take over our worldly globe
Thee only object to do this
Is stuck to your propaganda lobe.

Over the top to glory boys
To a Geronimo of chants
Oh so billhooks boys
I think I've just **** my pants
I was a bullet frightened conscript
But over the top I went
I died for King and country
Letter for my mother was sent
they left my rotting smelling corpse
in a ditch of mud so red
I was just another statistic
A sacrifice that needed to be bled.
I never lived to see what was the final score
Millions lay with millions
upon earths most deadly flaw.

Cycled my cycle
In the continuum of space
Walked the line
With one boot and a lace
Swam five oceans
Sailed the seven seas
Never found someone who believed in me
I danced,and played golf upon the moon
Had *** with Munro and came to soon
I turned myself inside out
So I could set myself free
It's getting harder to believe in me.
I played football 1,001 leagues under the sea
Sat with Jesus, Adolph ****** we had a *** of tea
I surfed seven planets and thee astral plain
Danced naked with Madonna in a shower of pink rain
I do not know when I shall be ever  be free
Because It's only me and my straight jacket
who really believes in me.

Wishing well stood proudly
In the middle of village square
Throw in all your pennies
Ask a question if you dare.
So I asked for one ***** **** *****
Long blonde hair and super mega rich
when I awoke next morning
With my wife still by my side
That clever all knowing wishing well
Knew that I had lied

I love me ,i love me
Let's love me together
Let's waltz  have some ***
inside all clement weather.
Mirror mirror on the wall
thank you for excepting my lips
Sweet little narcacistic me
Unable to love other ships

News news the bbc
its cheap free publicity.
Giving terrorism easy air time
It's stupidity,it's a ****** crime
News news the bbc
Giving terrorist free publicity

children playing in the park
Drone of swarming bees
suddenly life went dark
Time stood still,it froze
bursts of high pitch screams
filled the air with fear and dread
all around me,parents and children
We're laying fu--ing dead.
frozen with gut wrenching horror
I could hear people having rants
Stuck for what seems an eternity
I knew I had just **** my pants
Sirens wailing smoked filled thee air
Blood splattered red,dripping everywhere
then I woke,hearing a terrible sound
Holding a a bottle of ketchup,One red one brown

A punishment was handed out today
For the crime of slander I have to say
My pen had kicked up an awful stink
So the judges sentenced Me to life without ink
My pen had written,stories wildly untrue
sold to the newspapers who hadn't a clue
My poor old pen retired,no more stories to tell
A typewriter wouldn't be profitable from a prison cell

When young children die
There shadows still play
It might not be true
I would like it that way.
Dancing,smiling
Under the Suns ray
carrying their  names
In a fine eternity play.
shadows still do exist
In the darkness of a blink
It might not be true
It's still lovely to think

It's that politician time
They want your single vote
Blues have got mummy Teresa
The reds have a billy goat.
Somebody has to rule us
keeping democracy well alive
I don't care whos in charge
As long as this country thrives.
tax all the tax dodgers more
Streamline the national health
Shoot all those crooked bankers
Who tried to loose our wealth.
we need all types of people
On this sacred land of ours
So three cheers for Great Britain
And I'm of ,drinking at the bar

Talon of the hawk
Swoop dinner dead
Poor  sweet bunny
Off Spring must be fed

Hand of the human
Shop dinner frozen
Poor sweet chicken,
Sold by the dozen

Ducking for apples
In a deep fat fryer
There's no one uglier
Than I .
Tears are made of acid
Head of a coconut shy
Body all mangled up
Nobody uglier than I.
Brain as dense as a cabbage
It's size is as small as a pea
Still never found a looker
As terrible as me.
Elephant man
Quasimodo
Beautiful compared to me.
I just don't give a ****
never really have.

Spielberg had his scary jaws
Hitchcock filmed his crows
Lucas serialised Star Wars
As rocky balboa came to blows
Tarrentino pulped his fiction
Oscar Schindler built his ark
hammer house scared us shitlees
pet cemetry had left its mark
Di caprio sailed with his lover
Gone with the wind,was just a sham
Titanic would never  ever recover
633 squadron aimed to break a dam.
Eastwood never been unforgiven
et never did return back home
The long short and  tall of it
Private Ryan was never alone.
exorcist the omen, scary movies two
hills have eyes,spit on your grave
Elvis Presley's film Hawaii blue
Aliens predators,King Kong on a tower
Papillon catching  Hoffmans butterfly
As the triffids begin to flower,
****** and the ****** shower scene
the beauty and the beast
Snow White and Hannibal lector
Joining us for the annual feast
Having breakfast with Tiffany
Dancing on the African queen
Spartacus oh Spartacus with
Tom hanks brilliant mile green
John Wayne died at the Alamo
The film an all round total flop
Eddie Murphy made millions
as Beverly Hills finest cop.
Little shop of horrors
blues brothers darken pair of shades
My personal view is
Toy story was the best film ever made

Red coated girl in polish ghetto
Ever wonder,ever wonder
Boy in the striped pyjamas
Ever wonder ever wonder
Anne Frank's written diaries
Ever wonder ever wonder
A space in time,
Which holds a heinous crime
Ever wonder ever wonder
A space in time
God went amiss
As thee whole wide world
Fell into darken abyss
Ever wonder ever wonder

Being the last of a species
A nomad,aimless in time
walking this earthly planet
Forgotten bluebells chime

Look at me I'm Walter Mitty
Smartly dressed looking pretty
Dreaming dreams,dreams of love
Can I dance with you

Smartly dressed looking pretty
Hello beautiful I'm Walter Mitty
Dreaming of love,dreaming of you
Can I pinch a kiss

Kissing you,a lady with style
Kissing ones red ruby lips
Walter Is still day dreaming
Or has He just docked his ship

Hello everybody,Walter Mitty has found a lover
Plastered it all over face book,Twitter and all the other
Still he went on dreaming,still dreaming everyday
Now he's with his woman and both can dream away

Sycophant in my underpants
Licking my bot bot clean
Oh this brown tongued Individual
His prose is flipping obscene

Where's my mother
Where's my father
I have become very sad
Who has taken away my joy.
Have I done something bad
I am so lost,a frighten boy
Felling depressed a thrown away toy
What is now in store for me?
Now I'm one when there used
To be three