my wrists ache with desire and these lungs hitch
and heave with each sickening sob.
as my body begs to feel,
and my heart begs to not.

— to feel everything and nothing at once

i awoke
to the piercing sound
of an alert,
a change of weather
in the sky.
severe thunderstorms,
warnings scattered,
rain throughout the night.
it's 3am
and the rain has not yet
begun to pour,
but i think i'll stay up
just a little bit longer,
just to hear the thunderstorm.


— april showers

because that's exactly who you are, you'd crash your car and blame the road, hang yourself then blame the rope.


― victim complex

i have died a thousand times
of a thousand cuts
of a thousand broken hearts.

— but tonight i experience death for the first time
​

i exist in conveniences;
in habitual i love yous
and obligated i’m here for yous.
in calculated i cares
and loathsome i’ll listens.

i exist in conveniences:
i love you (when it’s convenient)
i’m here for you (when it’s convenient)


— i exist (when it’s convenient)

my heart hangs heavy this morning
and air escapes my lungs easier than it comes.
drowning in the silence
and the static of what you say,
i am alone today.


— nothing has changed

i am so tired
of breaking my own heart
over misconstrued manipulations
of the english language.

— a paranoid poet

between numb and nothing,
i was somewhere in between.
where you felt lonely,
i felt relief.

— we had two very different endings

tonight,
i am lonely.
tomorrow,
i will wake the same.
wrapped in sheets instead of arms,
in a bed absent of affection,
far from the only love i know.


— tonight i am lonely

how long
will your heart wait for me?
will it be forever
or until tomorrow morning?


― we talk of forever as if tomorrow is even promised

i write poetry of you every night as i fall asleep,
hoping that perhaps when i wake that i might keep
this perfect image, this perfect moment,
this perfect feeling of you lying next to me.

― sweet dreams