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 Sep 2013 M
Taylor B
Iniquity
 Sep 2013 M
Taylor B
I fed myself lies
Day after day to keep myself going
The fight has always been agents myself
And it always ends the same

I need time to heal
And time for the scars to breathe
Let the blood dry and wounds heal

I won’t ever forget
The feeling of falling apart and breaking down
Losing my mind and everything I had

I want to feel right again
I want to be whole again, I need it
I'm on the verge of self-destruction
And I don’t know where my tipping point is

This could be the end of me
Because I can’t recognize the person looking back at me in the mirror
I came so far, I've been so strong

I just keep feeding myself lies
It’s now a fixation to keep myself going
I've become addicted to the drug

Who am I now?
I have lost all hope so long ago
God save me now before it’s too late…
 Sep 2013 M
samasati
my little cousin is almost 3
and she is just like me
- or just like I was
when I was 3.
she’s stubborn
and she growls.
I used to growl,
apparently.
she’s a climber, a growler
and an observer
with messy messy curly hair;
it is such a nest, I recalled
the years my mother would
yank
a brush through my ringlets
and I would cry.
my little cousin
knows what she wants,
obviously,
she’s 3.
I was sitting on a bench, listening to
my family
talk about old stories
with my aunt that is now
dying.
she stood in front of me, my little cousin,
staring
quite blankly, like she didn’t need anything.
I looked in her eyes, she looked
in mine.
"you got a ouchie"
she told me.
"yeah? where?" I asked her.
"there," she touched just below
my knee
with her index finger.
indeed, there was a fresh
scar.
and immediately I was buried
in a memory
of how I got that scar.
it was just over two weeks ago,
actually;
and I hadn’t felt the skin rip
until the accident was over.
or I could call it an affair,
or a pit of passion, or I could even
call it a mistake.
"how did you get an ouchie?"
my other cousin asked me;
she’s almost 7.
I was devastated.
I wanted to be upright,
be honest, in a
calm kind of way;
but you can’t do that with children
like this.
I wanted to say,
"a boy gave this to me."
but instead I said,
"oh, I fell a couple weeks ago."
"on the sidewalk?" asked the almost 7 year old.
"something like that," I told her.
"you fall hard and got ouchie!" squealed the almost 3 year old.
she’s too smart, for her age
how did she know
that’s exactly
what happened
 Sep 2013 M
Iris
Untitled
 Sep 2013 M
Iris
It was Monday
you walked me home,
and i was (very) pleasantly surprised
even though
my face was hard and cold
and focused on the newly-tarred road
because I remembered you weren't mine (anymore) after all
We made small talk
but that was it
I wasn't really listening anyway

It was Tuesday
you walked me home
and i was (very) pleasantly surprised
(i was hoping, but not expecting)
I let a small smile play on my lips
when you reached for my bottle and took two sips
I asked about the names you gave to the cats (the ones i rescued just for you)
It seems you told me yesterday
i guess i wasn't listening; you repeat them anyway

It was Wednesday
you didn't walk me home
I walked slower than usual
in hopes that you might catch up
And i constantly looked over my shoulder
in hopes that you might appear
I tilted the bottle to my lips (the one you tilted to yours on Tuesday)
and took bigger gulps than usual
In hopes that plain water might wash away
the dissapointment and angst that caused me to sway

It is Thursday
and i don't know if you would have walked me home
I hope you are (very) unpleasantly surprised
when you find out that it's too late
because i'm gone
because you were the only one
who could save me from myself and everything else
because i'm gone
and you're never going to walk me home again
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