i love how your voice hugs my heart
and surrounds it like home,
cause when i hear your voice it feels so warm,
almost like you give me hope.

hope for opening my eyes, hope for running even more miles
far away, just so i can see
all the smiles that i missed.

your voice reminds me of peace
as I hide in those notes
as you try to form your words
all i want to be is yours

When do we start living?
Because I know for sure that breathing all this air all this time can’t be the only thing that Imma be doing on this earth.
So when do we start living this life they gave us?start playing this game they put us in?
I am really starting to get bored.
I see that some people want to end this game, but little do they know, they haven’t even press the start button yet.

they locked me up in this body and i cant get over the fact that im going to have to stay in here forever. forever just seems a huge word, endless time.
i am only 17 years in this cage and i can barely breath every single day.
ready to drown in my own tears, i feel like my cage isnt strong enough to keep me warm anymore.
so im trying to do something, to do something to get out of here.
but the key is nowhere,
until i lose control,
once again,
the beast inside me called guilt eats me up.
and it never, never gets satisfied.
the scars on my knees and my awful  headaches are trying to find a reason to resist.
but once the beast came out, theres no going back.
everything i do is worthless. because im the one that locked myself in here. and i swallowed the key like i did with the pill of guilt right down my throat.

shes with me because she can control me so she thinks that she can control herself. i am nothing to her. just a tool to use so she can survive and then throw away cause its useless anymore. and i thought u were different. i thought u wanted to improve me as a person and help me become better . but no . u only wanted to benefit urself. to make yourself better through me.

tie up the moon and throw it in the ocean.
fill it with all my emotions, experiences, loves, fears..
make the moon carry everything that my heart can no longer.
make the moon feel the emotions i hid under my skin.
make the moon cry, make her cry and throw her rain in every little white daisy that meets her way.
make the moon have the opportunity to be.
make the moon
live
make her just
be.

it never lasts you know?
that feeling. that feeling of excitement, enthusiasm, adrenaline, happiness.
that feeling of love.
none of that ever lasts.
and i keep asking myself: why?
why does this keep happening to me?
why can i be good enough for things to stay?
good enough for things to last?
and the answer cant be found anywhere.
not even in the countless nights ive stayed awake staring at my ceiling.
not even in every empty coffee cup thats been sitting on each corner of my house the past few weeks.
this answer, that i seek,
cant be found nowhere,
nowhere in the whole universe,
except your eyes,
a place im not allowed to look into.