Words I write as I cry
are occasionally found
to be beautiful
Words I speak
and actions I take
are often ignored
If my written word
finds its way
into your heart,
Perhaps this
Is the greatest love
I'll never know

Love is not the way your father slams doors,
or the way your mother stays locked behind them at night.
Love is not the way your brother loses his temper,
or the alcohol disintegrating your grandfather's brain.
Despite what you have been raised to believe,
love is not waking up alone on Christmas morning,
or the hand that hit you wiping away your tears.
Love is not the screams of rage on Saturday night
and the singing of hymns on Sunday morning.
Love is not leaving a light on for someone who’s never coming home,
and love is not the empty trust fund with your name written on it.
Love is not the pain you grew up in.
Love is not the pain you grew up in.

You sent my quiescent heart into a beating frenzy
A then lifeless ***** pumped itself back to life
It continues to beat at this very hour - relentless, restless
However every drop of sincere love is now replaced
It bangs against my constricting ribs, fueled by paroxysmal fury
I still find it difficult to breathe

No other melody equated your mellifluous voice
Every syllable that waltzed its way out of your lips enamored my soul
Now it turned to vexing noise that perturbs the tunnels of my ears
You are a song that does not belong in my playlist
Reverberating whispers haunt the hallways of my being
The hallways that you abandoned

Your name is etched on every wall of my mind
Its letters cavorted on the vacant space, owned the space
Each wall began to disintegrate now as your sobriquets induce cracks
Saccharine endearments quake the foundations of my sanity
But my castle of thoughts will not collapse
Commencing exhaustive repairs to extract you out of my life

Picturesque moments framed in my museum of memories
Images of your smile, of your enchanting eyes - all on display
How I wish you can watch me bathe the museum in gasoline now
The lofty flames will bring the light back in my insipid eyes
You were so quick to leave, shaming athletes on a race
Incinerating all to ash, witness how the wrathful flames emulate your pace

When my sun is down
But you're feeling up to something,
I'd catch the closest train
To take us to the world.
A world away from here

Or I'd build a fort in the living room
Complete with a damsel in distress
Only if it meant that
Your fingertips
Could save the words I
Could not speak

Or I'd float above the ceiling
To a cloud by which holds
the name of Ten
Ten, Ten. Tender
To the touch

I am no great
literary piece,
but an atom in a world
full of molecules.
Attracted to the valence
of allure

Would you catch my dreams
Somewhere in your arms?
Be the ocean for my raindrops?
Find me a picture
To smile at
In the cotton ball sky?

Be the rustle in the trees
and the stone that created
a perfect skip?
Be my glass of wine
at the end of the day
or the perfect blotch of paint
that makes the picture whole?

Because I find a beauty
Somewhere in your stranger heart.
I've imagined every life
except the one I have.
As you pass me by
I'll never have to guess what
Could have been.
I already know.

The dance for you/the dance for me
it can always go this way -- or that way
it's a sort of a wait n' see...
There's always the one who wants to stay
n' there's always the one who wants to go
there's always the girl that's on the run
with the boy that wants to know
there's the boy that wants some fun
with the girl that says she's done
there's the one who likes to chase
with the one that likes the race
there's the boy that's always hiding
with the girl that's always crying...
It's a game of stay or go
neither one ever knows
how the dice will ever roll
the bottom line every time
is love can't be controlled.