I walk the world with thoughts of you
In every place I go
Your voice is on the winter wind
Your footprints in the snow
And every tool I try to use to scrape you from my mind
Cuts your name onto my tongue
And beats me till I'm blind
I layed my head upon your knees and breathed the air you breathed
I cut myself when you were cut to know just how you bleed
Now as I walk this empty earth with nothing but a face
To breathe me and to bleed me
Until I leave this place

Oh, the horror.
When the teardrops falling
On your shirt
Stain you the color of dying roses
And the pale eyelids
Flutter suddenly shut,
The cheek in your chest and
Weak arms
Begging impossible safety
From your helpless hands.

And the scream ripping out of you
Is as warm
And as hollow
As the body
Resting quiet and heavy
In your shaking arms.

Every time you
Feel lonely or sad
Or you feel like
Your life doesn't
Make sense and
When it feels like
Things are the
Darkest is when
You must search
For the light and
The love just waiting
Beneath the surface
Its always there if
You know where
To look inside of
Your heart and
Soul and when
You find that
Light that leads
You through the
Storm and through
The trials of life you
Will feel that much
Stronger and whole
Through the lessons
Of life that might
Come your way
If you have faith
You can move
Mountains and
Change the course
Of rivers with your
New found strength
And faith and light
That is flowing in
Your soul as you
Begin to show
And share your
Inner light and
Strength to others
To be the beacon
Of light and faith
To show others the
Way when they feel
Lonely or like life
Isn't fair you can show
Them through your
Own light and experience
There is always a brighter
Way through the storm
And showing and sharing
Your gift of light and healing
To all who are willing to see

Notes have shifted
to a higher ground.
tampered ideas
fluxed and drowned.

Ailing to breathe
on what ever means.
still a second choice.
has a champion to beat.

Legs are tired,
but giving up was not an option;
repeating agony
on love that has never blossomed

Still unnoticed
despite of all the fuzz
unsung and lowered
on his esteem and self trust.

How can you move
frowned dearest little boy.
when all you can do is stalk,
her little boy toy decoy

Without a question
you dropped badly.
without a help
and a friend to carry.

How would you survive
this grueling abduction?
without any kind of confidence left,
your ego's submission.

I've been out of it lately
been thinking less
sleeping more.
goin to bed at 8pm
waking up at 1pm.
I know it ain't the fact that I'm sick
it's all the cough syrup I've been drinking.
never been high on anything
but the world seems... softer, now.
I'm halfway though that huge bottle,
don't know if I'm gonna miss it when it's gone.
I've told myself that I'm not gonna buy more,
but I'm not so sure

for those days
when hope will not help
because it is not hope that you want
but a cessation
a finality
an end

for those days
when comfort only hurts
because everything hurts, everything
is tender to the
point of
pain

for those days
when kisses feel like
dagger blades between your shoulders
and promises like empty tin cans
tied together
with string

on those days
I will be silent
I will be absent, even when
I am very near
I will hold you
without touching

and when you cry
I will catch your tears in
a vial of crystal that makes rainbows
in the sun
to hang around your windows
when you are smiling and
laughing and
joyful
and
content

to remind your tears
they are safe to fall