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 Oct 2014 Margrethe H K
M
something is broken inside of me, and
I know it is broken and I know it is cracked
but I don't know what broke it
so I don't know how to get back
glue my pieces back together and walk on a clear track
because lost is the way and confused is the path.
what is it? what happened
Don't allow yourself to feel "dumb" or "stupid" based on your inability to achieve something you care little about.

-Joseph B Schneider
© Joseph B Schneider. All rights reserved
B1

Minute

1. the sixtieth part (1/60) of an hour; sixty seconds.

2. an indefinitely short space of time:

3. an exact point in time; instant; moment
(Dictionary.com)

It feels endless
especially in waiting

Stop lights
Slow walkers
Commercials
5:00 PM
Listening for the phone to ring
Watching for him to walk through the door
over
my
threshold

Forever
Unbearable

Pregnant pauses pull me under
Take your journey
I'll take mine

I pour my energy into ignoring

You, yours into denial
In that pregnant moment
just before you said
that you are leaving for ever,
did you care,
to look deep in to my eyes
as you loved to do each time
you took leave, that made us
feel so near, just a heart beat away
though how far one is from the other.
How could I see your face
when it is reflected like a
flickering beam of dying light
in the drops of tears in my eyes
that were about to roll down,
--the last tribute to a love taken
a turn none foreseen,
like the course of a river after
copious rains in the mountains.
The shadows get frighteningly long,
he watches in silence like a painter
whose mixed up colors in the palette
are found to be of no use, the pictures
are muddled by inept handling of colors.

once colorful skyline is suddenly
pecked in to pieces by winds,
the belligerent evening birds in discord;
the child playing in the park now gives up
her carefully structured house,
receiving cues from swarms of darkness,
looks at her mother as if she isn't  interested,
anymore, as if feeling the encroaching loneliness.

"Evening is a spoiler of beautiful things"
he jots down on the page of the day in his mind
"it's  enticing beauty is just a masquerade"
a truth he would vouch as a fact of life.

It's time to be back home, the dusk falls
holding mom's finger she goes
back to the lighted space of warmth
that has an assurance of kiss any moment,
on his way she sends a smile, just a stranger
till two days before, as if saying "See you tomorrow"
this little one is a fresh guest of breeze
a pure blessing, sunshine rare in winter.

This rusted garden bench knows him well,
the fragrance of mango blossoms from a land distant
in a season long past still spreads the scent of musk
touches somewhere deep, brings
memories from a land so far,  a land where
evenings were spent under the shades of mango trees
in exhilaration, awaiting the mango fruit season.

A change in the lighting of sky overturns everything.
time administers it's hidden poison drop by drop,
the memories of an evening from afar asks in a feeble voice
"Will the child come to the park to play tomorrow again?"
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