Now look at this face
       Do you remember this smile?
           I wore it for you.

A* live to every push and shove
B reathing each and every toxin
C aring not for those awake
D ead to insults from mankind
E lecting to run and hide
F rigid walls are formed
G uiding us to isolation
H umanity smells of lies
I nstinct guards our very souls
J ustice no longer exists
K indly acts evaporated
L iving in this city
M anages to make me numb
N early every feeling gone
O nly existing to revenge
P eople who have harmed me
Q uiet forever alludes
R ansacked dreams haunt me
S treaming lights and screams
T ake hold of my mind
U pon these crowded streets
V iolence becomes a way of life
W here can I go to die
X enophobic people in large numbers
Y oung and old alike
Z ero chance that I'll survive

I will
                                                       separate
                                                      the truth
                                                 from your lies

                                                          I will
                                                       fantasize
                                                     that we are
                                                   friends forever

                                                        ­  I will
                                                         devour
                                                       the night
                                                 until day breaks

                                                          I will
                                                          wa­ke
                                                     to navigate
                                                   my life alone

                                                          I will
                                                         protect
                                                   my shrinking
                                                       ­  dignity

                                                        ­  I will
                                                         survive
                                                  these moments
                                                         ­ so say ...

                                                     *good-bye

Calm I'm not on any day
Formed by forces beyond my control

You fear me without knowing me
I'm really just transparency

Plunge your hand into my belly
Feel how easy I give way

My life is one big rise and fall
The wrinkles and foam I produce

Mighty is my capacity to drench
Administering liquid in great degrees

Sand and rock are my enemy
They dare to stand in my way

In the end, it's my nature I adore
The constant eb and flow

Lying in my bed
--reading ...

It is November, I am in NYC
--25 pages later ...

I am standing on a street corner in Istanbul
Outside the Kybele Cafe, near Sultanahmet tram station
Two British men, Ethan and Dylan, are talking ...

Senses engaged.*
Drinking in sights, sounds, smells of Istanbul.
As I can feel the excitement of this city.
Anticipating the story that is unfolding before me.
I am immersed, no longer in NYC.

Just then, a door slams, I am jolted back from Istanbul.
Back to my bedroom in NYC ...

How long have I been lost in this book?