its the song of your heart beating
the alive liveness  of your limbs
dancing running jumping
the flow of your hair and sitting down
listening to birds singing
your confusion learning maths or
indeed anything
yes through it all and more to come
I have lived you and loved you

What a palava

Plip plop drop
the bomb has popped

Bim bam boom
the paint tin looms

Two three four
bonus at my door

Push mush gush
what a rush

Next stage for me yaay !
On I go, wait for my mates
to unlock the next gate
And to Give me a Life ...
Oh, how ironic .. bahahahaha ...

complain
does it
matter

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!
Give in
Get up.
Covers off
Silence the drill sergeant
2 seconds in
And I'm late
LATE
LATE!
French shower, PSSST! PSSST!
Dress like a clown
Keys,
Cash
Phone,
Out of the door
The street as empty as my mind
The sky, puddles of grey
No one.
No movement
A really dead raven on the door step
It had been drinking
from a bottle of fabric conditioner.
I let go of my balloons.
Spin my bowtie
A kaleidoscope paints the air.
Approaching from the distance
buzz! buZZ! bUZZ!,BUZZ!

I miss you like I miss cigarettes
   They were killing me softly too
      I miss you like I miss *******
         You both made me act the fool
             I miss you like I miss London
               ****, *****, vicious alcoholics
                  I miss you like teenage years
                    Confusion,  dabbling  narcotics
                       I will miss you less and less
                         Until, well you are just regret
                           But that has not happened
                              It has not happened - yet.
                                                    X

When I was 5 ...
Your kerosene heater .. I hated that smell ..
Your snoring .. kept me awake at night ..
Bathtime .. my ears hurt when you cleaned them with the rough flannel ..
Bathing in the river .. I was ashamed to be naked like you ..
Your teeth .. in a glass scared me ..
You had no mercy .. when on the hunt for head lice ..

Now I'm 45 ..
You had no mercy .. relentless, you got them all ..
Your teeth .. I keep mine in a glass in the bathroom ..
Bathing in the river .. unrestricted & one with nature, I get it ..
Bathtime .. your ears do get *****, I use a rough flannel too ..
Your snoring .. any snoring reminds me of you ..
Your kerosene heater .. the whiff of kerosene, my strongest physical memory of you .. I think of you .. now I love the smell of kerosene ..

Every cherished memory of my Grandmother, no detail forgotten, I will always love you Nan XOXO