So this is her  life .... Has been and probably will be forever.. Because She will always be depressed Sheannice who can never see the fun in things.. The girl who kills to make others happy because she herself cannot .... Pushes everyone away because she's afraid of Someone who will stay... She hides the things that hurt her most because re living them brings only more pain than it should.. Getting close to people is never a plan because nothing lasts forever, trapped in a world of what if's, struggling each day to stop the things that put her at the edge of goodbyes rather than hellos, smiles hide the pain, something no one can explain

Of course it was something strong,
The way we used to look at each-other
And laugh at the same time,
Kiss each-other
Slowly, furiously, hungry and angry...
The way i used to lay on his back,
The way he used to hold my hand,
And we keep laughing and laughing
Crying sometimes,
Crying most of the time
And we hug each-other
He dries my tears
I kiss his lips
And we laugh, sing, dance and dream
He gets jealous,
I get mad,
He goes crazy, I go crazy
He holds my hand,
Puts a ring in it
We laugh again
We cry again
It sure wasn't something in vain
The way he used to kiss my lips
the way i used to take off his shirt
And we make love to each-other
Slowly, furiously, hungry and angry...
The way he used to take my pictures
The way i used to love his pictures
The way we imagined the future
Us,
Together,
For good and bad
Us,
Forever..

Of course it was something strong,
Our promises, our happiness
Our memories,
Our songs, dances and dreams
Our games
Our love..
The way we stared at the stars
The way we contemplated the moon
The way he laughed at my jokes
The way we danced in the dark
And we grab each-other
Slowly, furiously, hungry and angry..

And he's gone
And I'm here
Alone...
He disappears
But not from my dreams
And life isn't the same without him
My hands are cold
My lips are cold
I cry again
I cry a lot
And all the sad songs were about him
And all the tragic stories were about me
And all it was left for me
Is wishing,
One day he comes back to me..

Of course it was something strong
The way i couldn't finish this poem
The way all the words in the world aren't enough
To express my feelings
Or to tell our story...

I tried to fix you,
Because that's what I do.
I look for imperfections and cracks.
And as I tried to put your pieces
Back together, I
Noticed that I was
Slowly
Chipping away.
I am more broken than you.
Instead of putting you back
together, I should have been
saving myself.

In between the lines
That is where you should read
Because it is in those spare spaces
Where you create your own meaning

A cold October morning,
Treated just like the rest,
The boy awoke nauseous,
With a pain in his chest.

A longing for something,
Far out of his reach,
He settled for darkness,
Brushed red in between.

The pain became pale,
followed next by his skin,
Respiring so slowly,
The lights going dim.

Adrift into nothing,
What feels like a dream,
Is death coming slowly,
A dying brain's final feed.

"Is this what it feels like to be dead, I think I like this feeling"

Awoken abruptly,
Surrounded by fear,
Who are all these people,
and how'd he get here.

Looking up from his back,
A tear falls from her eye,
"Relieved" does her no justice,
For not having to say...

Goodbye..

The world melts
My senses combust
My fingertips tingle

The world sways
I sway
I collapse

I feel numb
Disoriented
Everything goes dark...

A light.
A siren.
A vision of faceless faces.

I am alive.

The smell of disinfectant.
The idle chatter of two nurses.
A buzzing in my ear.

I am alive.