I texted you because I couldn't believe
that you could really be taken from me.
When I got no response, deep down,
I just knew
that something tragic had happened to you.

We didn’t talk for a couple years;
you went your way, I went mine.
I swear to God, if I could,
I’d go back;
I wish so badly, I could rewind..

We used to be the best of friends;
no lapse of time could ever tear us apart.
We always would pick up
right where we left off —
You held a special place in my heart.

Three weeks ago,
I heard from you
for the first time in awhile.
We resumed our long-lost banter —
You always knew how to make me smile.

And even as I sit here writing this,
it’s hard for me to accept you’re truly gone.

I keep praying that, somehow,
everyone is somehow wrong.

You promised me you’d see me
the next time you came home.
But now that promise is empty,
and I can’t stop staring at the phone.

You *******,
you always did think
you were utterly invincible.
It’s just like you to think that
you were unsinkable.

And I know I’m being selfish,
It’s just so ******* unfair.
I can’t seem to wrap my head around it —
A world without you, I just can’t bear.


This isn't how it was supposed to end.
Nothing prepares you
for the loss of a friend.

If you asked me what I missed,
could I say anything at all?

Homework
and lost words.
Homeward.
and Route 12,
northbound.
Your smile poking its way through.
The tight black skirt,
more cleavage than tee shirt.
A walk or two,
and a view, straight through.
A meticulous routine to undress;
the wood-pellet stove keeping it hot.
The butterfly that was never caught.
Every box of Mike & Ikes bought.
An arbitrary laugh, a foreshadowing sunset-
a neck full of bruises and sweat.
The mocha-chip Thursday Nights at eight.
All the way back to a single Ferris wheel-
an ironically fatal first date.

If you asked me what I miss,
would I say anything at all?

As humans we aren't meant to comprehend truth, because of it i'm drowning

There is a boat i won't grab onto, for the boat is only for believers

The people try to pull me in, but i won't adjust so i'm only pulling them down with me

I pulled 2 people down with me, now they're gone. I'm still drowning ...

The boat doesn't even matter anymore, I drift under the sea blanket of insanity.

I wage war
That's never been seen before
Is sanity worth fighting for?
I'm not really sure

Insanity?
A calamity?
I call it individuality!

Who is Society
To create this hypocrisy?!?
It seems like such a tragedy
To waste such ingenuity
To dull the creativity

You have stars in your hands
and you hold them like grenades.
The boats tattooed on your thighs
spread out like finger placements of the G major chord.
Synthetic drugs make chains
tying your first and second fingers
around the mechanically rolled paper,
canvasing your throat like too much sea water,
each breath as rough as the veins in your arms.
Close your eyes
there’s pollen in the air
spread out like imperfections on the skin of an apple.
Solar countries keep foreign coins
sewed into their cotton sails,
they put their money into the navy.
You have a comet in your circulatory system
leaving bright spots under your skin
a reminder to gather the sunshine back under your eyelashes.
Hand soap in ketchup packets
make bubble bath islands
and unhappy lips.
You’re as talkative as a poem and
as expensive as a poppy
with homemade constellations on your back,
staining your lumbar muscles with cherries.
I can’t wash off your fingerprints
with my favourite shampoo.
I’ll swim across the Georgia Strait,
dodge your dinghies and
make a home in handmade ships
where I’ll practice erasing scars from my arms
and washing the soap from my hair.

Looking into your iris is like teleporting to space. There is no such thing as the concept time or gravity.
Everything is still, yet moving so fast.
There is nothing. Nothing but absolute beauty & mystery.
It kept pulling me in as I was floating across a map of lost stars & swimming in a lost sea of star dust, yet I wasn't lost.
I knew exactly where I was.
I was with you,  
I was with your soul.
But yet no one exactly knows where we are because the universe is infinite & we are all just little specks of nothing.
But your eyes.. ******* those eyes.
Your eyes are not nothing.
Your eyes are everything.
They have the capability to make a human being discover galaxies that have never been found.
They have the beauty that no one has ever encountered.
Those eyes.. oh man those eyes have their own galaxies of their own.
They hold a world within them that still needs to be discovered.
They make you feel like you're lucid dreaming into
another dimension.
I cannot hold them in my hands, but yet I can feel your vibrations throughout my cold veins & my disordered skin.
Oh how ******* lovely it is to stare into your iris.