It hurts hiding inside myself,
    I won't do it any longer...  

I need to be free
      To show the true me
          
   And finally escape
          This life filed with
     **Misery

my mind is a festival
my mind is a party
my mind is a circus
my mind is a wonderland

my mind contains all inner jokes
and smiles that become laughter

my mind is a journal
my mind is a filter
my mind is a river
my mind is an attic

my mind brings back memories
both good and bad
and times of days past

my mind is a prison
my mind is a vault
my mind is a trap
my mind is an escape...

my mind is never quiet
never shuts up
never stops thinking
and yet

very little gets out

your mind is like the ocean
a constant wave of emotion
for a second it was a storm of hate crashing out
now it is a calm tide of love surfacing about

beneath the tides lie countless wrecks
like memories resting inside my head
I thought I'd forgotten
placed them deep below
but they surface from time to time
trying to stay afloat  

my mind has a never ending complexity
I own it - yet struggle to control it
it is drowning in emotion
it is struggling to keep afloat

but for now I will bathe in the undisputed unknown

i force down days upon weeks upon years,
of regret, pain, shame.
In one mouthful
And you wonder why it takes so little
For my stomach to be full.

Like rippling water distorts a reflection,
the mirror reshapes my
stomach,
thighs,
arms.

Buttons unlatch from their holsters,
The zipper loosens its grip,
Exposed are the  things I despise.

Pinching, pulling, pushing.
Nothing changes, all still there.

Not so much a distorted body,
More so a distorted mind.