I regret
That I ignored the golden sound of peepers across the street
I regret
That I sometimes stay on the computer too much
a zombie with blue light on her face
I regret
that I don't make those entries in my journal
or draw that idea I got at 2 am
or turn in that essay
But most of all
I regret hating and loving you.
So when I say
"saya, saya tidak menyesal."
know that I am lying.

watching a movie in class
and having boys crowded around your desk playing with your hair
and acting like it annoys you
but it doesn’t

window shopping
with a friend
pointing out wishes
making inside jokes

going to Mcdonalds with your grandmother
eating fries like British delicacies
chatting

those days on the bus
listening to music
the sun and bus
yellow
zooming along the streets

lying awake at night
sleeping over
hands being held over the abyss between two beds
swapping secrets
like fisherman trading fish

drawing
and liking it
creating something

and

tasting
something sweet