Barely beyond seven years,
I was a small brown-haired boy
biking in a small town.
Till, I found
a little feisty dog
angrily yapping
and snapping
at me
when I tried to be friendly.

Older by three or four years,
walking out of the housing
down alleyways
on my way to school.
Till, I met a big dumb dog,
friendly enough
and playful to boot,
just a little too rough
as it nibbled at my shoe,
then tugged at my pants.
It would not let me get away
scraping my legs
and making me late to school.

Almost thirty
working at Diary Queen,
dating some creepy girl
who was really mean,
and had a pit.
Poor dog had been abused,
kind of aggressive
when it wanted attention,
kind of dangerous
if you had your hands up,
bit and scratched me
a little too much
playing just a little too rough.

He was slow and slurred
in a stupidly stumped stupor
and in my naivete
I cared for him
because of my innate
sense of sympathy.
Until, the thieving
and harassment
finally took me
to the limits
of my patience.

It is a cold-hearted comparison
but I liked those dangerous dogs
more than that **** and ******
addict.

I wear a jacket almost ever day
To hide the little bit
Of my stomach poking out
I notice flat tummies
So I cross my arms over mine

I usually put my hair in my face
So people won't notice my dorky glasses
Sometimes I try to go without them
But its hard to see and read things

I wear a lot of makeup
As an attempt to hide the imperfections of my face
I don't like going without it because
I feel people always stare

I know everyone has things
They don't like about themselves
And you may think differently
But if you try and tell me
I end up not believing you
I think you're just lying to me
So I'll feel better about myself

I used to say your lips were too small.
but now,
after feeling so many,
I realized yours weren't small.
They were a perfect fit,
like a puzzle piece.

"how do i explain it to him"

the explanation will go over his head

you'll have to be bland and watery with your words

you'll say "i love you but i can't do this anymore"

he'll look expectantly at you

but all he'll understand is that you are giving up

not that he has emotionally beaten you to the ground

not that he will never be able to love you as much as you do him

and it will feel like a long f
                                                 a
                                                    l
                                                      l,
                                                        your adrenaline will frighten you

but what you must learn is that

love is give and receive

not give and give and give until you have nothing left

he won't understand that

he'll argue that you're just too demanding

but isn't that always his response?

to blame you?

Leave him and find yourself.

Mentally selfish.
Emotionally broken.
Physically scared.
The devils token.

Slaughter of happiness.
****** of hearts.
Strictly demented.
Your torn apart.

Pain as satisfaction.
Madness is all’s strength.
A want to give up.
But you’ve left it to faith.