sea shells
she sells
salty Susie
on the seashore
her sure shalls
storm spells
such will be’s
shan’t be seen
on shifting sands

i think not speaking
is the thing messing me up the most
out of all of this

yes, i love you
i really really do
but i know i will get over that
it will take time and it will hurt like hell but i know i will

the thing is, you are my safe place
were my safe place
i felt as though i could go to you about anything
and you made me feel more comfortable than anyone else
you knew how to react and made it easy to talk
now i cant do that
and **** keeps happening
while you're the first person i think to go talk to when i can't
and i keep wondering how you are
you seem fine but i still miss hearing about your life

i miss you and i feel pathetic
because i'm having a hard time adjusting
and i dont exactly know what to do with myself

lines cut heavy
on a button stretched brow
thick rubber shoes
and dragon canes
fill out the closet floor
gospel sounds
and narratives (drowned)
apparitions set sullenly
amid voices from the past

finger pins
and crosswords
find the favor list
point men and preachers
tip up their tuscany caps
twitching and sign gazing
with spectacles held firm
recurring evening news
and beadledom views

clappers and caregivers
raise a crooked foot
grips and rockers
settle in on the front porch
gertrude grimaces
at an untimely turn
as the gooseberry pie
(with a smidgen of cloves)
chills by the night watch

you apologize,
but you show no real remorse
you only want an excuse,
to keep me in your life,
to manipulate me,
to hurt me.

you hurt me.

you make me feel stupid,
fat,
ugly,
worthless.
worthless.

I am worthless

you've taught me that I have no self value,
that I am good at nothing

my self esteem is gone,
you've taken it all away,
I'm watching it burn,
with the memories of you.

you.

I hate you.

The seeds of your soul
have been planted in my heart.

They've sprouted.

Their roots wrapped around my ribs,
latching onto me.

You are a part of me.

The rumbling of fall,
calling my name.

The burning smell filling the air,
leaves sweeping me off of my feet.

Calming and hopeful.