The shadow inside my shadow screams
a blood curling scream, breaking
the silence of a cheap hotel
somewhere big with walls paper thin

and still the old ways we shared
haunt me in ways you will never
understand. Because you have yet
to spend a single midnight in Rome
while mending a broken soul.

I often wonder if this is just
a single year summer love we have
going on between you and me,
that a short journey back to the
places we came from would be
enough to shatter both our hearts
and anything we think of each
other.

That you have to have the strings
still attached, like a warning
in the manual meant to be bolded
that reads: "tie to fly" because your
wings aren't strong enough to
hold you all the way across the finsh
line.

I often wonder if this is just
all in my head and there's really
nothing at all going on between
you and me; yet I continue searching
for ways to break the silence
creeping in around us as we lay with
my head on your heart and someone else
waiting

on you.

Give me my wings

there's nothing worse than eating
dirt when you've already tasted
the clouds. Feasting on the dreams
you fought to keep when everyone else
laughed and sipping every silver lining
you could find like warm ginger tea
after playing in fallen painted leaves.

Give me my wings

I'm someone far too enchanted
with the sky, with being able to touch
the stars that looked after me
for so many years. It's more than painful
to be here face down on the ground
with no strength to stand and no home
to go back to anymore.

Always been an angel in your eyes,

so why'd you take them back
this time? Take this ******* halo,
fallen down 'round my neck and give me
the wings I spent so long forging for myself
in the fires of Hades while he fished
for truth in its lava seas. Good or bad,
wrong or right, it doesn't matter much
when you can no longer see the light.

Angels on the sidelines
watch with weary eyes
at the horror that unfolds:

monkey killing monkey killing monkey killing me
they all believe living life is always gonna be free
killing each other over pieces of this ******* ground
chasing each other for the thrill of knocking another down.

Baffled and confused
they pick and choose
anger is their friend
and they meet their end

monkey killing monkey killing monkey killing me
never learned what it means to agree
want the same thing, want nothing at all
angels on the sideline quietly pray they fall.

Puzzled and amused
your God is more confused
misguided in mystery
what is this magic ability?

monkey killing monkey killing monkey killing me
cause mother never stopped them in infantry
chase each other round with an evil grin
plastered on as they fool each other for the win.

baffled and confused
right in two they choose
tired and so alone
this is all we've ever known

what have we become?

I know its eavesdropping to look
through the keyhole on two people
in love when one's a stranger and
the other lives in your heart. But love's
such a fickle thing and games like that
are far too complicated to play.

You see, it's just one thing when
they are talking while rearranging
furniture and something entirely
different when they are kissing by
the fire. Look again though, tell me
tomorrow and wish me luck when
I whisper through tears that I still dream
of yesterday.

I miss the way things were then.

Don't sing our song to her between
flickering flames and wondering hands,
don't give her my hot tea or read her
those hand me down poems you wrote
for me first. Even remembering all those
slamming doors and random fights over
nothing at all don't make me want
anything better or different.

I know it's eavesdropping to look
through the keyhole in most
situations, but is that still the case
when you're just a doll on a shelf
bought for a girl you no longer know?

A day meant to be special

the world was supposed to
be in the palm of her hand
today

yet here she is all alone again
sitting on the edge of her bed
fighting back tears as she
remembers

the last time she heard him
say those sweet little words
honestly.

she turned sixteen and learned
to drive anywhere she could
dream

mom gave her hugs and kisses,
trust and a fresh start, forgiving
everything.

a day meant to be special

the world was supposed to
be in the palm of her hand
today

that's the problem with
memories,

birthdays,

and

teenagers.

Heartbeats growing fast
hands intertwine, breaths linger
but it's just a dream.