Shame, shame you never listened
all that well, she said it every single day,

Wordless reminders and action filled phrases
she misses you as much as you miss her
if not infinitely more - I promise.

Shame, shame you don't listen
a little more, every night
she still screams your name

"It is time

to forget me."

No. Please.

Please no.

I would,

but you see,

that is almost

impossible

to do when

you are

in love.

The world shattered and the sky fell
as I was walking away, begging you
to follow me. To give some sort of
meaning to a lost girl I become.
But you didn't. I got out of sight
and far beyond ear shot, waiting for
the moment you would realize how much
we needed each other. You never came

I waited through the world's first
and second ends. I stood tall in the face
of Fear and after the silence I broke down
and watched myself lose pieces with
every step I took. The world shattered
and the sky fell as I learned that even I
don't want to be my friend which is why
I'm here, in the shadows, standing in line,
waiting to audition for loneliness.

"You always were my little dreamer,
my beautiful cloud dancer,
pirouetting from heart to heart rarely
if ever revisiting the ones you leave behind,"
you smiled as you pulled me just a
little closer and put your hand
over my heart.

"You found the key to my heart early on
and I wanted nothing more than to
welcome you to my life. Only you were too
innocent, too broken to be asked that then.

There was a darkened stranger in your soul
killing you a little more with each day.
And you gave me the key to your heart
in turn. ***, I couldn't stick around,
tempting you with honest promises
too far out of reach for such a sweet girl.

So I ran to my hiding place
until you were able to smile again. I had
no idea that it would hurt you so much,
I only ever wanted the best for you.
Oh, ***, thank you for forgiving my
for being so unable to see that you were
only ever truly happy right here
next to me."

Names are written in the stars
when Earth's out of storage for people
running around her beautiful offerings
but she's so caprice that she can't decide
which ones to remove from the
horizon. I just hope our names don't
show up cause those are the ones she moves
to the top of Death's list.

Sit with me, find the old constellations,
the ones with stories and history,
myth and little to no truth. Sit with me,
like nothing at all is wrong, even if
only for tonight.

This morning someone wanted to take my picture
for the school news paper and my friends
couldn't understand why I let them.
So I smiled,

"Well whenever people tell me to smile for the camera
I just think of you. (Yes you, the person reading this
right now.)

And people love to ask why other people always
expect you to smile in photographs. And I tell them
it is because we hope that in the future this is
something to smile about.

So I don't understand why you won't smile for me.
Its so much more wonderful and worthwhile when you do."

Oh and by the way, I love your smile
so much.

:)

"I know you want the best for me,
you always have and even if we fall
through something tells me you
still will. That's why I didn't want
you to know about today. . .

I wasn't trying to hurt anyone
and I did everything everyone
asked of me, so them yelling,
chewing me out, telling me to
do more, work harder, get up earlier,

ate away at me more than I could
take and I saw the cigarettes on
the back porch and felt the lighter
in my pocket next to the knife
sober of my blood for months.

The withdraws wouldn't hurt so much
if people wouldn't stare at me and
point out everything I already hate
about myself. I know you love me,

you always want the best for me
and somehow I think that will still
be the case, even if we fall through.
That's why I'm begging you to leave -

so you don't see the lipstick stains
from bittersweet butterfly kisses
or smell the smoke carrying even more
of me too far away to get back."

She wrote on a ripped up piece of
crumpled paper and placed inside
my locker outside of the art room.

"There is hope, light, and beauty
buried deep inside and I am
completely determined to show
that to you, Lovely girl. You can't
throw me far enough that I won't
be back. My soul is part of the
crashing waves that mesmerize you
ever so. Don't give up yet."

was all I could say in response.

You can't leave me either,
you may be the earthquake
off the coast, but I'm the volcano
on the fault lines.