I know I looked at you with horrible alien eyes
and that that was enough to hurt you
more than you hurt me by saying
those words. Yes, I was fighting tears
and I swear I thought you weren't able to
see them pushing makeup from my eyes
but I guess everyone gets things wrong
sometimes.

Honestly, I could have sworn that you could hear
my heart breaking from the moon and maybe even
Mars or Jupiter, but I suppose that it's such
a common sound no one would ever notice.

I know I looked at you with alien eyes
so realistic you were able to feel a piece
of yourself dying because you'd finally
proved me wrong.

I'm so sorry I ever
looked your way
in the first place.

Yesterday I found that picture of you I always loved so much
even though you swore you've looked better elsewhere.

Today I found something you wrote for me a long time ago.
You left it behind forgotten and alone when you decided to
move out and get on with your life.

And tomorrow I think ill look for your brother's address
and write to him asking how you are. I will apologize
for never meeting him properly and for making him
just another middle man. I will sincerely hope that all is well
in both your worlds.

And maybe if he writes back I will get your real number
and give you a call.

You've been gone too far away for way too long
and I am beginning to miss everything.

Even the parts of you that I used to hate

You say you do it so no one else falls in
with enough force to **** you upon arrival,
but you've gone and messed up this time.
While you were busy hiding from everyone else
you left cracks big enough for my tiny self to
get in. And you say you don't mind that people
do not miss you, but darling, you don't say a word
to me for a while and my heart starts to ache
a little bit more with every passing moment.
You drink and you drink because the taste is
just like anything else you've ever consumed.

There once was a time when it made you feel whole
because it took the pain away for a moment or two
and that led to an addiction of sorts, which just made
you someone you never thought you'd be. You say
you do it all just to keep people out, but Darling,
you made a mistake this time.

As she packed her last bag and slung it over her shoulder
he whispered, " Won't you miss the zombie babies,
the sour apple kisses, the late night walks
through this ghost town you chose as home,
the pet ninja we named Sam, Hank and Mollie the dragons.
Darling, what about the robots and giants and leprechauns
we used to party with when we were young?
Can you really just leave all that behind
so effortlessly?"

There were tears in his eyes and she had never seen
him cry before, she pulled him close, " Thank you,
I had forgotten when I promised to remember not to forget
just as you couldn't forget to remember me. Thank you,
really, thank you but I have to go."

But how could she leave after being reminded of
something so important to the people she loves
the very most

Heartbeat,
Beat, Beat, Beating
as you must
to keep us going.

Heartbeat,
Beat, Beat, Beating
me a lullaby
when Sleep is late.

A sign of love,
of wholeness
and protection,
pure beauty.

Heartbeat,
Beat, Beat, Beating
keeping time
with our breathing.

Heartbeat,
Beat, Beat, Beating
thank you, Love,
it's complete perfection.

I hate how you sit out on the dock in the late afternoon sun
with your canvass and paints. Stretching me and pulling me
for nothing but the pleasure of your latest muse. I hate
that you get to talk to the strangers fishing down the way
and the only people I have are the wooden planks you push me into.
And believe me they are horrible conversationalists.

You run after butterflies to match your paint to their wings
and softhearted blades of grass try to dry my tears. Darling,
I love you, I hate you, I love you but i don't love you anymore.
You get to live your life and manipulate me however you wish.

Only next time we play this little game of ours
you'll be my shadow
and I'll be your
master