As I caress your porcelain neck, my hands start to get a better grip. The cry comes out as *****. The self pity, in tears to blend with the water below. All drains lead to the ocean, I begged the current to take me away with it's flow.  Because all you can remember is 16 year old you...happy about food on holidays. While your mom harasses you to hate yourself. She said," Go! Go stand naked infront of that mirror and I can be certain you will never be happy about food again." And so I carress you, with bruised knees and a broken heart.

Robotics Class,
I never took it,
But I'm sure glad you did,
It left you crooked,
Achey & Weird,
When we kissed it was copper mixed,
With gasoline tears,
Hearts don't break even,
They don't break at all,
Just shrivel up & die,
Until the next one comes along,
I'm not sure if you're replaceable.

Breathing between half naked gasps of torn away clothing. Relief as your lips mend mine. Guitar stringed lullaby, it's not reality. But it's real enough, for my hand to brush. Up against, between your thighs. To kiss all the mysterious places that you hide...it's the way your skin feels against these fresh sheets. That make you stay...

Laying under the Big Dipper, Cold may air caressing my forehead,  hoodie for a pillow,
This ***** ground a perfect bed, it all started with the stars, Idiots inspired by glowing gas,
A million miles away, like something that beautiful could last, what God drinks of the universe, left me behind.

I hope she's the wonder to all your worlds, but not too much like I was.

I'm Wendy Darling,
Where's all my lost boys?
They took Cap'n Hooks ship back to England.
Now I'll be forever a little girl,
In such a big big big world.
Where only men are in control.
They always say don't grow up!
Read us bedtime stories,
Even if it's stories you never wanted to read,
They don't even pay,
After you've stayed,
Tick tock tick tock,
Time my old friend,
Where have you been.

the inbox is always empty, the outbox never ending. The leafs on your sheets remind me of spring? They don't have to, but why not.
Lately Im less caring, more overbearing.

I can't get your words out of my head.

Subtle sipper of love, use the Big Dipper
To ladle it out, into the trash can you drink of,
Toilet paper stacked against the mattress,
In your stomach, they scream he'll get sick,
Without shoes on, but he doesn't have a heart,
To fail, to stop its beating, just a hallow cave,
Where memories go to die, I watched him,
Shrug & grin, satisfied with solitude,
I'm ready for a tire swing lullaby,
No jokes or games, every,
Thing, out in the open,
He clambered down my words,
And sat in the mulch to die.

You can render me speechless,
But never wordless,
There was always lust behind your tongue,
I've never been kissed be a true lover,
I guess I'm not stable, I guess I'm not stable,

Fade out scene two
Enter beautiful boy

He said, do you know girl you'd be gorgeous,if.
You'd stop and look in the mirror, you've gained ten pounds since the last time I've seen you, your smile is so loud it hurts, baby girl please shut up, all you do is talk but your words are dust,  those shoes you wear, so many holes, when it rains your feet are like the sea, is that the necklace we found on the beach around your neck? Tackey aren't you,

Zoom out scene three,
Bird eye view of boy,

He screamed are you crazy girl why did you have to know me? If you wouldn't have, you be alive right now hopefully. He laughed through his tears, the mockery and the jeers, nothing would bring his girl back. He whispered I'll use your head stone as a pillow, this grave, a bed for two.

Eye sockets full of empty grasping hands. Penniless teletext marketers twinkling down bangers the lost boys cry. Be okay. Juicy covers, labeled lets do this again.

There's a crack in my cup, and your words runeth over

Never confuse being friendly with flirting, words often mean nothing. Other then a simple phrase to end the conversation. Do not get wound up in emotions. Periods, commas and exclamation points exaggerated. Baby, you're just another empty paragraph to keep him busy...

No one has an excuse to be mean,
Your mood swings unbearable,
Laughing & carrying on,
Accidentally choking on a life saver,
Ironic,
Fury fills your face,
From the bottom up,
You exchange, blow after, blow after, blow,
Fist connecting with skin,
For the first time,
I don't know you brother,
Like father like son, good thing I'm a girl.
Tears well up faster than a river full of water,
Headed up hill,
Facing the son,

I can't stand you,
Like drift wood afloat in the ocean,
Forever drowning,
Never good enough,
Getting beat until I'm "perfect"
You say it's respect,
But you've got none

I wanna be,
Loved like,
The keyboard,
Is carressed,
In The Druids Prayer,
By Michele McLaughlin,
I can dream,

Life is unexpectedly wild, or maybe it’s wild expectedly.

I cuddle deeper into your ciggerate coated hoodie. Taking in the scent, making me sicker. But it's so comfortable.

They say jealousy turned her green,
Ugly and unusable,
She snubs her nose at the world,
Like the wicked witch she is,
I say jealousy only added fuel to the fire,
Of a young broken heart,
She caught her lover of four years cheating,
In bed with another dart,
Those sheets contaminated with the sins of her beloved, that room only echoes his desire for another,
Not she,
The house reflecting loneliness,
She wasn't good enough,
Jealousy didn't turn her green,
The world did,
The tiny world she called her own,
Thought her own,
Two green eyes,
Warm arms,
And a steadfast laugh,
He turned her green,
When she use to be red,
He died shortly after,
No one quite knows why ;)

I watched as you made your bed in the sand,
Laid down to sleep,
The tidal wave of your own mothers words,
Cømîng crashing down on you...
I'd hate myself too, Id look in the mirror & cringe at what Id see. But I've become so distant from my body, I'm just a memory. My bestfriends a seahorse. Makes me feel a little bit less empty. He knows I'll have to go away soon. Or maybe close my eyes & drownd. I won't face my creator cause all she thinks is of my mistakes, of being born overweight. This solitude is confining, I'm losing it. I wish I could bury myself under a rock, dig all the hooks from under my skin. An old net from an old boat.

As you crinkle up your nose, the soft spot between your eyes crinkle up. My lips wrap around the last Tylenol Pm. The words, " I don't think you have depression." Tumble from your mouth.


I pack up back into myself. You speak, "therapy won't make your home life any better". I cradle my emotions,

A house divided against it self, would be better; than your smile & how I'm not the reason for it,
than how I wake up with no one to tell me
        goodmorning
than looking to the heavens not knowing
If we're looking at the same sky
Swept me right of my aching feet
Cycle freaking emotions,
Interpt this into something beautiful,
I'm blind
Hate builds,
Stop humanizing poetry.

Saw my feet off, hang them out to dry. Maybe lll be able to feel something, if I don't bleed out & die

doux rire ,
derrière bouche basse,
ayant déjà été dit de se taire ,
depuis trop longtemps ,
le rire est la médecine,
pour les âmes brisées,
theres quelque chose de beau dans la façon dont vous jetez votre tête en arrière,
oubliant la clavicule cassée ,
et le cœur déchiré en trois,
je oublie trop ,
simplement vous regarder ,
me regarder .

You're trying to sell, your poetry. Like the guys back in my home state, with their mixtapes.
                         **Get out of here

We cut when we’re not brave enough to die, just yet just yet

i wish I could write beautifuly,
Fluently,
As you do,
Abstract,
With the knack of adding ferocity,
Leaves you breathless,
But content,
Art,
But ugly,
Rugged and rough,
Yet lovely,
I'm a child,
Nothing more,
Weak in the act of living,
I could do better,
Better,
Could I do?
I wanna write like you,
As if the words were rolling off Gods tongue,
Onto yours,

Poetry is raw to me,
Not packaged pretty,
With big words,
And abbreviations,
But misshaped,
Tangled,
And broken bits,
Of us humans,
Crammed into the folds of our hearts,
Pumping through our veins,
Leaving like an army from our mouth,
Fleeing, into the oblivion.
To me poetry is raw,

I like sitting on roof tops,
In flip flops or converse,
Knee pulled to my chest,
The sound of violins & harmonicas
Echoing in the distance,
I'm still a kid,
Jesus loves me,
Tank tops are awkward,
Tattoos are comfy,
Cream soda and whiskey taste good together,
I don't know a lot,
But jesus loves me

When you laughed you took all the air from out of our lungs & for the first time I was glad to see you selfish.

He drew,
Overnight,
Till the morning,
Something beautiful,
Till his hand ached,
His brain wondering the meaning,
Of those 12 words,
I remember the smell of the shop,
Wafts of adrenaline & home,
Leather couches,
And hot guys,
I remember when I saw the outline,
Beautiful my eyes watered,
He took me to the back room,
Pushing up my sleeve,
Washing my arm carefully,
He shakenly asked me what it meant,
What the 12 words were,
And the beautiful wave,
He wouldn't meet my eyes,
I softly said,
It shows my trust in God,
He inhaled,
I smile small,
I tell him of his love,
And how these 12 words represent our,
Relationship,
He finally looks up at me,
He says I've must've thought about this,
Through,
I smile as he presses the needle to my skin,
Four hours of spending time with him,
Laughing and joking,
I had hoped to have inspired you billy,
All I can see when I close my eyes,
Is how you held on,
To that book,
You thought it gave you answers,
And you grasped it so tight,
Tighter than the machine,
You filled with ink,
Permentally marking me for life,
I watched as the inspiration evaporated,
You titled your head,
Giving me a small sad smile,
The satanic bible clenched in you enclosed fist,
Because how could someone ever put all their trust, into someone who is suppose to be so good, in a world so bad.
So why fight fire with fire,
When you can just lay down and sleep with the wicked,
It makes me sad sometimes,
Thinking of you,
But I know as the years go by,
As I go back to you over and over again,
As I am more ink than skin,
I'll teach you to love once more,
You speak in every curling wave, & sing in every violent breeze.
12 words

Dread head, blond crown of hair. Surfer dude. What are you doing so, far away from home.
I watched, as he decapitated a squealing piglet.
Wondering maybe he's too close to home.

I think I'll miss you forever.

Curse words, are just cuss words. With a little more oomf behind them

I'll keep you illustrated, in the back of my mind.
The revolving doors on your eyes, make me fearful of life. So vast, not understanding how whales are thoughts that swim buy. Eating up all the krill in your coral mind. It makes sense,   to always drive on the left. Your just passing by...

I watched her,
Wandering what was going through her head,
Could she only see her reflection,
Or the outside world,
And then, I asked myself the same.

Poetry turns me on

Hard wired bucket, deep sea swimming.
Electric eel, fastening hoops interlocking.
Vacation trimming,
The vertical outcome of your mind.

Smirk pianos, shave the bindings off the back packed Americans back pack.

the fox ate the butterfly,
And the catipillar smiled,
A leaf for the road.

I learned pretty quick, that unless you're compleltly falling a part. You're good! Just gather up the remains, add some duct tape. Don't complain.

God I hope you're working tomorrow,
Don't tell me you took a day off,
Decided to not come in on second shift,

God I need you,
My passions snapping,
I don't want to write,
In fact this is my last,

God this town is so empty,
All I hear at night is suit cases closing,
Doors opening,
And footsteps leaving,

All the people I use to love,
Dried out and deceiving,
God I love you,
I'm calling in sick tomorrow.
Actually, I quit

I ordered my cap and gown today,
Time flies by,
When you don't have a dad to tell you to slow....down.

Shifting of chairs on tiled floors,
Raised voices, waking quiet breathers.
Waiting for the glass to break,
Click your heals together,
There's no place like home,
No place like home.

I fill my basin with my favorite empty things. And act surprised when I don’t want to be alive. Thirsty

It's the kind of puking that you don't recover from, when you're hunched over the trash can and you have enough time to side glance and admire your spine in the mirror you forgot to clean. * if I go over the lines one more time they'll blow out* I tattooed your abuse inside the medicine cabinet, where I go to meet Jesus every Tuesday night. When Friday seems to far away, and your fist so close. It's not just a memory this is a legacy. Trash can duets.

I broke the back door, with my thumb nail of course. I forgot that you like slaming it everynight, my pain brings you pleasure. The pholicules just turn purple and peel off anyway. Another shade of pink, & a house without doors would be nice.

The way you cried, "don't go home yet"
As you laced your warm hand,
Around my shaking forearm,
And I could've sworn it could've sworn,
Swearings bad for the heart,
I would've rather climbed Mount Everest,
Than fall in love with you,
At least I would've accomplished something,
Not that we weren't anything,
Just a cold refreshing swig,
Of something sweet,
It left my mouth dry,
& my stomach empty,
My living room is a jungle,
You a lion,
Stuck in the vines of life,
Don't free fall into anything but yourself,
Ghosts cannot love,
Anyone but themselves,
How can two free thinkers be together,
I smoked with the astronaut on the bench,
He was just a news paper,
Dated 1979,
He wasn't fishing for anything but luck,
And the universe died that night,
It's all just imagination with the limitation,
Of realism,
You freak,
I look in the mirror and wander back,
Into the irises,
To the eyes of the beholder,
Residing in me,
Big empty nothing,
Cultureal decline,
Political backslide,
Prepare you for everything.

Birds of a feather flock together,
But you slither between the words in the rymes,
Gathering your heard of snakes,
Under the rocks of my thoughts,
Id rather remain friendless,
Then have your,
venom
Running Through My Veins

Solis
Songs for Judah
Takes me to my knees
Spiritually
Instrumentals
Tell a tale
Not soon to be forgotten

One time someone told me,
         They had chosen words for me,
                           I cried,
            Casting them into the ocean,
  They were words I would've never spoken,
                       Please do tell,
           Did you ever know me at all
  I watched as a wave swallowed them whole.