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Madisen Kuhn May 2013
your words were so lovely
that i never once doubted them,
i couldn’t hear the emptiness
or read into the sugar coated lies
masquerading as sincere promises

i wrote them in cursive
and dotted the i’s with little hearts,
counting on the vows to hold weight

but when i finally tested them
by throwing your “forevers” into the ocean,
they did not sink to the bottom,
instead they floated right on the surface

your guarantees
were like funhouse mirrors,
i ran in one direction
thinking it was leading me
to where i needed to be,
but i came to a dead end,
trapped and broken hearted
with your voice echoing somewhere
“i cannot mend it”

i will not let my journal
turn into pitiful pages
filled with only your name

i will carry on,
bruised by your half-truths
and with eyes full of hope,
nevertheless
Madisen Kuhn May 2013
if you’re laying in bed
wrapped up in sheets
of miserable thought,
go to sleep

if thumbing through old messages
only causes your heart to ache
and long for something unattainable
erase them

if it hurts to keep
everything you’re feeling
bottled up inside
let it out

if you’re clinging onto someone
that doesn’t treat you like
you’re worth the world
let them go

because sometimes
we choose to believe
that things are only
indistinguishable shades of gray
when in reality,
life is more black and white
than it seems

if you’re unhappy
with the way
you are living your life
*change it
Madisen Kuhn May 2013
even with my heart
broken into
seven hundred
sixty-four thousand pieces,
somehow i still manage
to love you
Madisen Kuhn May 2013
i love you
i love you
i love you
and i’ll never stop loving you,
i couldn’t even if i tried

you’ve taken all of me,
scrubbed the dirt from my flesh
and replaced it with rose petals
and i love you, i love you, i love you

thank you for making me feel beautiful
for the first time in a long time
Madisen Kuhn May 2013
how do you expect me
to believe i deserve better
when you’re the one proving
that i’m not worth fighting for

and don’t you even dare say
“it’s not you, it’s me”
because i know one day
you will meet a girl
and her eyes will shine like diamonds
and your heart will always
ache to be next to her
and you will do whatever it takes
to have her, no matter what
you will overcome every obstacle
to ensure that she is forever yours

so don’t even try to feed me lies like
“you are good enough”
when you’re completely contradicting that
by leaving me here broken and alone
Madisen Kuhn May 2013
thirty eight days
twenty poems
and an embarrassing amount
of doodled hearts later,
the reality of you not being my one
has finally begun to set in

it’s been one week
of trying to get over you
and i still cried last night
and i will probably cry again
but not forever
because i know that i know that i know
that i deserve so much better

i deserve
someone who will think
my eyes shine like diamonds
and whose heart will always
ache to be next to me
and who will do whatever it takes
to have me, no matter what
someone who will overcome every obstacle
to ensure that i am forever his

and this will be
my last poem about you
and tomorrow will be day one
of erasing your name from my heart
and it’s going to sting
because i really was hoping
you’d stay

but no
i now see that you
are not my one
you are only one step
in the right direction
Madisen Kuhn May 2013
you are bright eyes
masking gray storm clouds
in your mind
and a heart too big
for the cavity of sadness
that confines it

and you are a bird
trying so desperately
to keep flying
in the pouring rain

♦ ♦

i am the hands
that long to caress your gentle face
and an autumn breeze
seeking to whisk away
your worries

and i am just a girl
praying for a thunderstorm
so that you may have
endless clear skies
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