It rained in the city today,
and for the first time I didn't rush to tell you how badly I wished I were with you.
How badly I wished to be curled up next to you,
watching a movie,
laughing at your stupid jokes,
talking about the memories and the people from home.

I wonder if that means something.
I find it funny that I used to count each month as something special,
now we just round up to the closest year (two).

I wonder why you can't hear me when I talk to you,
why you can't do simple things like text me back,
or call me on the phone.

I could drown myself with memories from last year,
the phone calls,
the harsh words,
the times when I was the one who was too busy to talk.
But I try not to.

I don't know when things changed,
when you got too busy for me,
and when I decided to care too much
and then not at all.

It rained in the city today.
And I didn't think of you,
not even a little bit,
not at all.

the dark makes it seem even colder.
Tomorrow it will never go above freezing,
and I know that all I will be able to think about
is the warmth I find in your arms.
My heart will beat steadily and slowly,
waiting to feel yours beating alongside it,
I guess it doesn't know it won't happen anytime soon,
that the cold day will pass without any sort of embrace.

That's like telling the sky that it's blue.
It's a well known fact that doesn't need to be said aloud.
I came to terms with it long ago,
you should do the same.

Yet here we are,
I don't know if you're saying it because you're only just realizing it,
or if you're saying it to hurt me,
to disarm me,
to make me more vulnerable than I already am.

You're the one who chose to love the crazy girl.
I never chose to be crazy,
it is just something that happened-
I'm pretty sure it's genetic-
it's the way I am.

Love me for my crazy ways,
or not at all.
You know I'll be waiting for your answer,
I'm crazy,
after all.

is a feather.
It falls,
so gracefully,
dancing
in the air
until
it hits the floor,
soundlessly.

I've written you countless poems,
I'm sure you've never taken the time to read them.
I speak what I feel,
I never keep anything inside.
So why are you having so much trouble reading me?

I'm an open book.