Friends something people see as something that will never end
but you can't spell friend without  end
Just like you can't spell boyfriend Without End
or girlfriend Without End
people say that it will last forever
people say that I'll be here till the end
but will you though
People say it's okay I can help you move on
but can you though
I've had one person leave and then another then another and another
but then I still sit here I'm still standing somehow
in this world that I know will just come to a end anyways
I wonder why why am I still here why am I still standing
why am I still laughing and smiling
when I know half the people I know don't care about my well-being
they don't care whether I succeed or not succeed
they dont care about what I do what I write what I become
all they care about in the end is whether they can benefit off of what I do
and whether they can benefit or not it doesn't help me in the end
they just stay here and they just exist like a storm and fly
that just sits there and never goes away
so again friends is something you can't spell without end and it all ends in the end

People ask me how I'm doing I say I'm doing fine
but I might lose my mind when the truth is I don't really know if I am anymore
if they saw how at night I want to cry I want to scream
if they knew what happens inside my mind past dark
but they say that I'm doing good people say they've seen so much progress
you're doing well they say but am I though I don't really know if I'm seeing the progress or if I'm doing well
but I say that I am but I don't really know if I am maybe it's all just a big lie to myself
people say you're doing good you're doing amazing you're writing your reading you're doing more than what most people are
but I just think that it's all normal it's all something that I shouldn't be proud of
  is there really anything that I should be proud of myself for
if anything I'm just here and just here existing in a world
in a world that nobody really sees me and in a world that nobody seems to care
whether I succeed  or not In a world where people are cruel people are kind
but you never know what side you're going to get
in a world that nobody seems to know what the hell's going on in
a world that people just smile and act like it's fine when we all know that's really not fine

Shes baba black sheep of the herd I heard
I hear that alot since I am different im not equal to them
They say blood is thicker then water but I don't feel that way
My own blood left like it was nothing
I learned young that blood would not be my best friend
But instead half blood would
The side that wasn't complete
But was just enough to feel complete
Its small and broken
Can feel chaotic and overwhelming
But it is still family to me
People look confused when they hear my story
Some say that's not your family
But I beg to differ
My real family threw me to the road like a piece of trash
This one cared for me like their own
My real family taught me how to hate
This one taught me how to love how to care how to forgive
So in the end blood does not run thicker then water

Hurting something nobody sees me doing
hurting is something i didn't realize i was doing for a long time
till i locked myself up in a room and turned off all the lights
shut the blinds and sat in the dark room
hurting is something i didn't realize i was doing till I couldn't look at myself in the mirror anymore and smile
to where I couldn't look at a lighter anymore and think of it as a tool to light a candle
hurting is something we all do but don't realize it