you lead me into silence
to listen
and sing to me
your deeper love songs

Say the words you're afraid to say
You know I want to hear them
Say the promise that we will be in latter day
Say I am the life force that runs through your stem

Say the words you can never bring yourself to say
You know very well that I've been waiting
Say the words that will cause dismay
Say that I'm fueling a fire that's dying

Say the words you can't really say
Fearing the commitment I'd hold you to
Warn me of the rope that threatens to fray
Say that all my wishes will not come true

Say the words you've always wanted to say
Truthfully that there isn't a future
Please... Say the words you mean to say
Just need this knife to go a tad bit deeper

How am I still holding on?
Wasting my time
When I know you've gone

I still drift back to younger days
I wasted my time over you
I tried to understand, I failed

You stayed with me up until I realised,
you were gone.
You were never mine.

I saw you the other day
I was sat in a café people watching
I saw you, I watched you.

I ached for you, for me, for the past
For regrets, missed opportunities, failed declarations
Realisation that together we were friends, almost more.

In a crowd we were separate beings
Societal dictats stood in place, never to be questioned.
I watched you in the crowd from the café

Watched you looking my way
Steam from my latte bringing a haze to my eyes
Oh how many nights I cried for you.

Wanting you, needing you,
hurting inside for you, denying others "just in case"
You denied me then I deny you now.

Stay in the locked box deep in my soul
Memories in a woman's heart
can never be stolen or forgotten.

I left the café with an ache
Turned the corner, felt your stare
Then, saw my husband standing there.

To him I moved my wheelchair forward
To him I kissed my ache away
To him I will always stay

I turned for a final glance
Looked at you standing in the drizzle
You stared not at me, but the chair.

Realisation shone on your face
Confusion clouded those eyes
I am her, but not now.

Your height, your hair, your brown eyed stare
You're all that I remembered and more.
21 years have spun away, as did I that day.

I cannot see
I can’t make a sound
I lie here naked on the hard frozen ground
Wondering if I’ll ever be found
How did I get here?
I have no idea
I hardly remember that last sip of beer
That is when the blackout began
I do vaguely remember a tall handsome man
The last thing I remember, he led me out of the bar
I think he took me straight to his car
After that, it all goes grey
I don’t know where I am
Only thing left to do is to pray
I said I would never do this again
Broken promises, will it ever end….

high up on the ridge
you stand me up

to look into my soul
closer now

I see your love
beating fast

and I fall deep
into your heart

The Delicately exquisite touch
One pattern after the other
Soft symmetry laced one in one
Tight pulse of fixation
Don't let go
Longing to linger,
The small Warmth of trust.

Sweet oil heats, burns and spills over
skin sublime, so sensitive
who'd have thought a spaniard could fly off
a round of expletives on parents

Don't try to figger what ain't fit for fools
go fetch your yella bucket and                 (we told you so)
that box is waiting for you and (tap, tap)
sooner 'n you think, they need your hide again.

Being on the end of your spine, roll on over here
cartilage swings better than spume
that ugly red mother (don't be sore)
ssssettling sediment: the ocean beats slats, always cleans up
you never asked
zero, one, one, one, zero, one one
done!