ive seen you puke your soul out
in school bathrooms

ive seen you fade in and out
your fingertips flickering
in transparency

ive held you in my palms
skin cold, prickly with ice
you wrapped your arms around my waist
but i couldnt feel you

maybe youre a ghost
a ghost that seems to follow me around
a lost ghost with nowhere to go
and yet you seem to find me everywhere

maybe youre a shadow
too scared of the sun
hiding behind me for protection

maybe youre a one-off thought
the remnants of late night brainstorms
that thundered and raged on in my sleep-deprived mind

how come you never show your face anymore?

before i knew it
the pink shatters
the filter of gold disappears
her curves, bittersweet and angular
unlike what i thought before
her soft voice
now sickly
coarse with demand
how come
i never noticed it before?
must have been
the tears blocking my vision

i think he's noticed it too

nevermind.

wind chimes in early morning breeze
the sizzle of shadows
from the blazing sun
kisses my skin
all sticky from sweat and heat
i twitch
the whites of my eyes are painted with tears
take a step
and jump
plunge myself into the blue
and bathe in the grey afternoon clouds
til i wait
for the sunset.