You say I don't live in the real world
Well, I'm glad I don't
It would eat me alive
It's already eaten me alive
You say I reach too much for band-aids
Well, I'm glad that I do
They encourage me to shut down, reach out-
Even if it's for the advil in the morning
You sit on the edge of my bed and point out my flaws
Well, I'm glad you did
Cause it made me feel like ****
But I realized you're no ally
You only want me around to please you; then you leave me behind
Well, I'm glad I know now
That I can always count on you for something
And fool me twice, shame on me
You say I'm garbage cause I live on cheap rent
Well, it's good to know gossip runs in the family
Cause I forgot life is like high school with bigger stakes
Like the one you stick in my heart every time you talk about money
You say you can't make it to the show
Well, I sense your tone
It seems like you'd lend me your coat
When you rather me shiver to the bone
You say you know nothing
Well, I sense you know everything
Now that I spelled it out in ink
Cause it's clear the blood was lacking

A body full of rocket fuel
And rug burns on my knees
To all those out there I hurt,
This is my apology

I wish I could undo
Everything I’ve done wrong
But since no one’s listening
I only have this song

And I know all the sorrys in the world won’t be enough
Would it please you to see me in handcuffs?
I know the road to redemption will be rough
But I ask, to this plea, please don’t wear earmuffs

I live everyday in the horror, in the guilt
How did I weave this never-ending quilt
The world is caving in, the sky is falling down
I know I don’t belong to this world, to this town

I just want you to know I pray everyday
For the turning back of time
I never meant to cause you harm
All I can do is rhyme
And pray for forgiveness
Pray for forgiveness

A body full of rocket fuel
And rug burns on my knees
Cleanse me of unknown faults
You’re the ones that hold the keys

Stadium of rock, stone in my boots
Rolling boulders with my amulet noise
This is my sixth limb, rather my extension
Watch me roar, shake this gorge
I ****** the peasants, the Pharisees and lords
They gave me the spotlight , I gave them my creed
A mutual yet flimsy roll of the dice
But I promise, at night, I put my halo back on
I promise, at night, I say my little prayers
And when I weep, I weep salty tears
And when I ride the snake
Amidst the purple haze
Like a flower in the sun,
I think about a girl

The journey, the chaos
The spiral, the fluid knot
A gamble with Saturn
But oh, to be the vessel
I should have sensed
A lottery changing hands
But not in recompense
Past the fiery sixes, swept up in seven's bliss
Rolling with the eight-***** , now clenched in nine's fist
But deep inside its dour palm
Lies a truth-
It won't be long
(The first cut is the deepest,
The last scar is Eden-bound)

I can't allow myself to want you
But I need you here
Cause I'm afraid I'll disappear
At the hands of
The ego-driven
My enemies
And my fear

There once was a time when I believed an apocalypse was just a sunset
And the story always began with light
But now the Earth has turned into the Dark Forest
And I'm afraid to sleep at night
Cause my doctor gave me a big dose
And the dusk seems to bring Them closer
And my nightmares would scare the bravest ghost

I can't allow myself to need you
But I desperately want you near
Cause I'm afraid I'll disappear
At the hands of
A ruthless society
The consequences of mistakes
And the relentless fear

I wish
I could just disappear completely
In the arms of sleep
Or a miracle
That dissolves my outer shell
And sends my soul up into the deep

But I know
There will be
No story-book ending
I'm a special cause
That needs to be destroyed
I'm a wicked myth
So please don't try to befriend me
Even I can't defend me

Once the world was my playground
A place of smiles from strangers
Under ethereal streetlights
That highlighted muted words and soft touches
Now the world is a battle-field for my essence
A place of traps and landmines
Under sinister trees
That sway from a wretched wind

I have to face facts
Despite the holes in my memory
And the lack of information
They're waiting till the end to tell me
I have to relax
While they're taunting and harming me
While they're haunting and alarming me
I have to turn the other cheek

Cause this much darkness
This much misery
This much depression
This much anxiety
This much paranoia
This much erosion
This much anguish
This much despair
This much melancholy
This much dejection
This much isolation
This much heartbreak
This much pain
This much gloom
Means it's going to rain
Means I'll soon meet my doom
And I'm guessing I deserve it
Pour suffering over suffering
Despite the fact that I'm already overflowing
(But I must remember
That they probably are too)

Fate will find you on a still, moon-filled night
Lying on the shores of a black pool of ink
So you dip your pen in, and then you begin
To slowly lose your ability to think
But chaos bubbles up, the reversal of all order
The mind begins being pulled apart by the senses
Desires may enter your ocean but should never move it
Still, in the daylight, the urges are relentless
So I pray, let me be pale-faced
By a white dwarf illumination
Let me lie in a dreamless state
Process of elimination
And when my nightmares are relinquished
I’ll chant something like OM
Wishing I’ll return to the stars
My one and only home
Where’s your vantage point
In the empty jungle of space
Lick, chew, ****, swallow
The moon contains our taste
So are you here to conquer,
Destroy or explore?
Find the baby in the bubble
And open up the door

You ask me to come out of my shell
But not completely
You needed a footstool
With words you beat me
The things you said
I never asked to hear
It looks like the salad days are near
Again
So I thank you for reminding me
That the quickest way to doom
That the quickest way to tombs
Is love
And love, it drips with pent-up white blood
I helped to release it
Got rid of your headaches
But now all you need is your own hand
And her picture
Now our plane is going down
The people are screaming
Wide-eyed out the windows
I reach to hold your hand
And follow your gaze
To a blonde faceless maze
Yeah, it looks like the salad days are here
Again

I’m a lonely ball of blue
And I can’t exist without my moon
I’m spinning out of control
So fast, so fast
I’m tilted
I can’t evolve
How can I solve any mystery
In a hostile world
The colors swirl into nothing
I can’t talk
You must read my body language
I take a walk
Amid jungles and ice
Is this the price I pay
For losing my mind
Shortened days of time
I’m tilted
Can’t stop spinning
Out of control
So fast, so fast, so fast

My boredom is married to my indecision, so I finger another cigarette, frozen in a useless moment

If I had a flare for every time you stared, I'd send it off into space with the rest of the waste that once was golden

Mystery equals mind games and my brain is fried

Wishing I could be the last person alive on earth, where I could be alone with ***** and records- But I bet I was the first person alive on earth; the explanation for why my roots are dumb mud and ****

Souls are recycled from the pit, and the story never ends- maybe next time zen will be in my genetics

Purgatory is a cocoon where the only struggle is waiting for a savior, while you're surrounded by messiahs who didn't make the cut

Wanna go undercover in the audio afterglow and show the universe I can invent new sounds

I want adrenaline and I need peace- the country is lonely and the city never sleeps

Stay or run away, burn out or fade away- Want to go by the lyrics of my heroes, but I fear they've been corrupted

I'm wandering blindly through the dark forest, and I know there's light up ahead but I don't have the strength to climb the trees

I've learned the hard way that spirits aren't bullet-proof- They dissolve with the help of betrayal and ego

I know I have enemies but I lack the capacity to hate- I am man and I am woman and I am nothing and I am everything and I'm a freak and I'm a bottom feeder and still I wonder why people are so cruel when the answer is obvious- but I remain oblivious and blame it on the three millimeters growing inside my head

Tied to the rocking chair, flexing a muscle, while styrofoam stars surround the moon that's being milked by my eyes

The days burn long than short
Like the trashcan I set on fire
While dancing manically in my room
Alone but alive
Those were the best days of my life
Alone & unafraid
Alone, even with them by my side
I know you think you stole from a spoiled home
But you fed on the powerlessness of a fragile soul
Are you happy now that you got what you wanted?
Got what you came for?
Is the score still far from even?
Cause I made friends with some black convicts today
Their stripes glistening in their habitat
But all I can do is pump music in my veins,
And maybe something a little stronger, with your help
But you walked away from me
Once you got what you wanted
"Marry me" is a plea of pain
It would have been a red wedding...
Can't believe I'm back here again
Black is all I see, and I know you like pepper
But do you have more salt to pour?
You put the fire out.
(Was that really you, or your pain-body?)

Well I’ve done a good job at playing the great pretender
But every time night closes in I think I’m ready to surrender
And I wonder about the afterlife, and all the lost and wandering souls
And I pray that they may find peace, that they may find a home
And he can’t remember the last time he lent a hand to her
He lives in a perfect world, but all his visions are a blur
And she made plenty mistakes, including him, but the stakes were high
And like a bird with a broken wing, she never learned to fly
Why is that we wear a mask every time we face the troubled task
Of letting someone in our world- we’re all just little boys and girls
If only we could turn back time, have fun in nursery rhyme
Instead it’s a downhill climb, what’s yours is yours and mine is mine
As the poet reaches for a pen, and warm thoughts come to rescue him
He knows exactly what to say, it’s the perfect end to a long hard day
And the crowd will always erase the outcast’s downtrodden face
But in the next life he has a place, on a golden throne in outer space
Well my mind has done a good job of forgetting to remember
But as the heavy darkness closes in, I wonder if I should surrender

It’s everywhere-
In ancient wonders and modern blunders
Still you get the feeling
That you’re chasing phantoms
Point to God and filter down the money
Or is it all a pyramid scheme
An idea floating around
Made by people who don’t want to be found
It’s everywhere-
Hiding in plain sight
And you’ll always get the feeling
That you’re chasing phantoms

With a shrug
She went and saw the medicine man
He made her see visions
Of Christ and Judas as one
She left her home soon after
And went mad in the streets
She let her infinity run wild
In the passions of love and ****
She takes a pill for
The fish tank blues
She sees the neon night
In different hues
She’s china in a bull shop
She saw the snake but had fear
So she couldn’t enter the garden
During an eclipse
She asked the world to dance
To enhance her lost memory
To take her back to a time
Of friends and innocence
The end of accidents
The mending of souls
If only the ancient theater
Did not have a backstage
Instead she sits Indian style
On the swirling carpet
Overshadowed by a roman candle-
Make magic before you enter the door

She wears a mask, strong and confidant
But inside she’s a scared little girl
And everything she has is resting on a house of cards
And just the tiniest gust of wind could blow everything over
She’s walking in a land of personal turmoil
And she has a big infusion
Of some grand delusions
That tell her she should be bad
Cause the world is too real, too harsh
And it hurts to breathe
And she wonders if one moment of adventure
Is worth a lifetime of despair
Cause the candle blew out when she saw the palm reader
And she fears the worst is yet to come
And her only friends are the stars
But the one inside her is collapsing in on itself
Cause God make her pure with
A past of unforgivable mistakes
And her light is androgynous so no one can see it
Her inner spark has become a grenade
And the man in the moon was swallowed by the tides
Controlled by the woman who owns the satellite
And night or day, in sun or in snow,
Nature tells her she will be bad
That which is lost
Can’t always be found
She will be good
When she’s put underground

Laughter
The kind that's not ghastly or cruel
The kind that doesn't make you feel like a fool
The kind that doesn't come from demons or ghouls
The kind that travels from your gut to your heart
The kind that unites people two worlds apart
The kind that makes your smile hurt, belly ache- the kind that leaves a mark

I don't remember this kind of laughter
But I would give anything to feel its echo
Cause this kind of laughter isn't amusing
Unless it's a non-stop marathon where beer spills out your nose

And laughter of this purity leaves a ripple in time
Beyond memory, break-ups, make-ups, wrinkles, and clock-chimes
Even if you forget it, it remains in your soul
You'll see it in your cosmic movie- floating out of charity's bowl

The condensation on your lips
Lets me know that you’re still breathing
In conversation you have slipped
In my brain I must be bleeding
The fornication known as bliss
Leaves your shell open and seething
Just tell me who I have to kiss
To make this news somewhat relieving

The captain has jumped the ship
Now we’re swimming for the shore
I’m drowning but you sure know how to float along
Can only take such doom in doses
Small, aloof and precocious
And you smile as the water fills my lungs

Your words are second hand
Somehow your smile’s right on time
How’s that conscience taste
Without a hint of the divine
Give me honesty
Or give me a goodbye
There goes another chain breaking
Another nursery rhyme

Inside every artists's head is a ******
A dose of genius with a dash of madness
But before we get trapped in a Wonderland of horrors
We must destroy the throne erected in ourselves

The artist should rest in reason
Like gazing peacefully at a meadow
The artist should move in passion
Like a lightning storm where heavy winds blow

Artists should always be observant, like the nocturnal owl
Who absorbs daylight like the sun is its opposite lover
Moon will guide you to creation, like winged wisdom hunts its foul
(Even if you feel that night provides no cover)

Artists should smell of the earth
In all its sweet fragrances and pungent odors
There are some people in this world who won't judge you
They are the mountains, hills, plains and oceans

Inside every artists's heart is a labyrinth
A dash of true nature and a dose of reality
No wonder some of us create art in the dark
(True artists don't seek fame; they yearn to be free)

A hospital bed
A room painted red
A hungover head
All things unsaid

Dead flowers
Cold showers
In space for a second
On earth for an hour

A garden of weeds
A forgotten creed
A tree without leaves
A neglected need

Broken-down cars
A wrist full of scars
A sky without stars
A dull broken heart

Despite my aging body
I still have my baby teeth
And bodies want beds of fire
And babies just need sleep
They said to look out for your schemes
Casting stones from their own piles
They said you were the cream of liars
But you can make me smile
Every day I’m getting older
I refuse to play the games for two
I’m used to looking over my shoulder
But now I look at you
Now I look at you

I woke up from a dream
In which I solved the mystery of the universe
I learned what would benefit society
But I still found no answers to the mystery of me
I walked among the mountains
Swam against the sea
Still I know nothing of the mystery of me
But in my dream, I reached a purgatory
It became my solid ground, my reality
And in this in-between, I learned a lot of things
Like be careful what rings you put on your fingers
And be kind to the homeless, he could be Jesus
I woke up from a dream with my mouth wide open
Then the cup of mystery, hovered over me, began to spill

I, I’m feeling uninvited
And I’m feeling quite disgraceful
But I have a secret
And I never plan on telling it

I never once felt special
And I never really belonged
But I try not to let it bother me
I never learned what’s right and wrong

I, I’m feeling disembodied
And I don’t know where my head is at
But I know it’s out there somewhere
And I think it’s my turn up to bat

Expose me
But avoid the words you say
Tonight is your destiny
But it always ends the same
A dose of heartbreak
A glimmer of lost faith
A suicidal fate
It always ends the same
The king fainted
In a theatrical collapse
With tragic momentum
He entered the chapel of doom
He didn’t mean to charm you or alarm you
He was searching for the low life
And at the electric wedding
The castles are on fire
So expose me
But beware of the words
Tonight is your destiny
We’re all fighting to be heard
And the king got out of bed
And realized he lost his head

She wakes up and sees the stamp on her wrist from last night's musical revelry and in harsh daylight it looks like a bar-code for Babylon. She stupidly talks about her travel plans and the next day mother nature takes thousands of lives and she thinks its her fault. She buys both brands of luck from the thrift shop and knows it's hotel California, just like her life. She tries to remember, but every trigger suppresses something in her mind. She used to have 20/20 vision until she got a piece of gravel in her eye; she's been walking blind ever since. And she wonders when unconditional love turned political. And she wonders why the whole coast is so cynical. And she knows a "ghost" stole her lighter. She knows the clock is wrong. She knows she needs a compass.

Logical, symmetrical thoughts are all you seem to carry
And they bury me
Do you ever think about the notion of immortality
Even in your dreams
See, I am different, always have been
Always will be
I evolved from something else
At a different speed
Open your third eye and help retrieve my memory
Of a world where we were free
Cause when it’s over, it will be over
It will be
A universal lightshow in my rearview mirror
Take a look and see
You are the people who want to live forever
I laugh with tears falling
You are the people who want to live forever
But this is hell for me

You call me out
I take you in
That’s when the pink swims

And I focus
On the shape of your face
The memory is easily erased

You could say it means nothing
Nothing at all
But the truth is
You make my skin crawl

Your words like gravel
My expression unravels
You’re set in your ways

My thoughts collect
All of my debt
I’m stuck in my place

You could say it means nothing
70 x 7
When the truth is
There shouldn’t be mirrors in heaven

Two worlds
Of three dimensions
Collide together
Or
A black hole singularity
A portal between universes
And there are many
Bouncing back and forth
The beginning of the beginning
Puzzles cosmologists
But only in your heart
Can you know what It is

It’s us against the world
We partook in society’s bad habits
Just to see what was missing
But the treasure was empty
And we found each other
It was all a test
And will always be a struggle
But as for now,
We’re passing with flying colors
There must be a God
Because miracles happen every day-
When someone believes in you
And has faith in your future-
The hope that an apocalypse is just a sunset
And that mornings always bring a fresh start
There will always be tests
Always be struggles
But as for now,
We’re passing with flying colors

I awoke in paradise
After he made me
I was basked in moonlight
And the flowers danced for me
Walking around aimlessly
Was another just like me
He held my hand and we
Traversed our new home
Then one night while I was dreaming
A hissing voice came in my ear
Suddenly my mind was filled with
Oceans of blood
The next day I took a bite from
The tree I was supposed to fear
Then the world turned upside-down
I saw a vision of a crown of thorns
And punctured hands and bleeding feet
I dropped the fruit into his lap
But before I could stop him he took a bite
If only He told us that because of our transgression
A savior would later have to die

We’re all trying to run away from the sun
Seeking a left-hand path into the night
But we suppress our shadows in the day
The big star merely brings this to light
When we can see clearly with rays in our eyes
That’s mystical too
Denying existence of that which exists
Seems to belong to the few

Skip the bread and wine
Give me smack and a needle
Put on some Neil, Tori, Morrison,
Or anything by the Beatles
Cause I want to die trying something new
While hearing something familiar
My soul's already black and blue
And I've lost all rights familial
If you must make me suffer
I'll take the pain
No fight or flight reflex
Just a hard falling rain
But please don't harm those I love
They never beared witness
They only are my blood
And I know they regret my kinship
Maybe the memories will surface
Once I'm in proximity to you
I know the world is divided in my fate
In colors red and blue
I just hope the heroes death
Is not a myth or a hoax
Run by merchants, Zion or media
That applauded your being a ghost
Cause around my neck is a chain
Of an unborn baby name
And in my room is a picture frame
Of a soul that seemed to hunger for pain
Cause suffering is aligned with joy
There's a scale of balance in your head
On one end there's a heart of agony
The other waits opened-armed by your bed

The world is filled with colors
But I only see the blues
The sky is filled with stars
But I only see you
And the future is bleak
For those who seek
Fulfillment in all the wrong places
But between you and me,
The clouds and the sea,
There’s only one face I see
So rock me in your arms
Tell me everything is gonna be alright
Silver and gold for the fools
And our eternal peace at night
Forgive me my mistakes
Forgive me for breaking the rules
Never learned how to love from a teacher
Never learned how to love in school
And the future is nice
For those who roll the dice
And can afford to be let down
But between me and you,
No diamonds or rubies
Could replace what you do
So rock me in your arms
Blow my mind with your soul
Silver and gold for the fools
I’ll take your voice and a lullaby
My heart is like an open vein
Without you I’d go insane
And we’re crazy enough as it is
You and me, the dream, and this

Stitch these angry limbs
Before they lead us to ruin
Disengage the dancing mind
Like secrets in an empty room

The mask is coming off
Peeling air like a spinning top
Cut the cord of certainty
Till the cold wind rushes in

You hurt yourself again
Trying to dig deeper
To implode and expand
Like the universe’s keeper

You were a legend
But I barely knew you
You were a peasant
The grass grew through you
You were an anchor
To my mother’s ship
You were a lover
With a fighter’s wit

And I came to be
Almost healthy
Almost new
Cause I came from you

Now I’m tied to the moon and wheel
Any spark of light seems surreal
Cause my heart is full of love, but my mind’s filled with fear
And I just want to disappear

But I keep hearing naked songs from a foreign ghost
And it’s these songs I hate the most
Cause even though we met once when I was two
I could never be in your shoes
I can never be in your shoes

A mysterious stranger with soft-spoken words
Will be kind at first, then remind me I’m cursed
And my memories all have holes

A shot in the head is how it will start
A bone-chilling cold that runs straight through my heart
And my memories all have holes

A deranged magician with a ******* top hat
Will take my hand and then saw me in half
And my memories all have holes

Feathers from an animal that could never fly
Paste them to me and then say your goodbyes
And my memories all have holes

My soul was dormant for a thousand years
Then I was born and shed so many tears
And my memories all have holes

Shall we cast some limbs tonight
To avoid eternal hellfire
Shall we break commandments of men
To claim back our right-hand
As the giants call our names
From restraint in Tartaroo
Shall we take it all in
And spew it out from our mouths
Shall we strum from the wrist
And watch dancers on the flame
Shall we break the laws of men
And have a soul to gain
Shall we pray for the prophet
Or for a Messiah

How can you know who you are
When your only friends are the stars?
How can you know who to be
When your own blood considers you an enemy?
How can you know how to forgive
When this world is not live and let live?
How do you know how to survive
When you’re wanted dead or alive?
How can you know what you feel
When everything is deranged and surreal?
How do you know what you’ve learned
When with every mistake, you crash and burn?
How do you know how to love
When you don’t even feel it from above?

I hate these walls
And I hate this town
And I no longer want
To be around here or anywhere
So my mind goes to bathtubs
And kitchen knife drawers
And the pile of rope
Dad left on the floor
And medicine cabinets
An a brown paper bag
With a short note attached

What will it be?
Option A, B or C
I never was good at choosing
When it comes to me
I try to shut it off
Try to make the grand leap
But before I know it
I’ve fallen back asleep

He sang, "Soul mates never die"
And I thought of why
I never deserved one like you
We were far from perfection
We avoided the reflection
That the outside world at us threw
But I want you to know
You're the closest I ever came
To knowing how it feels to be alive
Even at my lowest you made me feel high
And he sang, "Love is watching someone die"
And I thought about all the bleak hospital stays
But also of how you held my hand through all my little deaths
Lending me your spirit through each and every breath
And now that we're at the peak of the ultimate test
I want to promise you that if you need sleep, I'll give you rest
If you need passion, I'll give you all my fire
If you crave a quick fix, I'll quench your desires
If you need friendship, I'll give you love
I'll always give you love, cause that's how it began
We don't have to define ourselves or play pretend
We shouldn't have to care if to others we don't make sense
Cause we both know the puzzle pieces fit
We are both losers, weirdos and misfits
And the world will never know our story
Cause we are entwined through shame and through glory

Seasons change and flowers die
But that I forget when I see you smile
Friendships end and words can lie
But none of that matters when I’m by your side
Hearts often have shadows that won’t subside
But mine disappear when I look in your eyes
Life is a mystery, often cruel an unkind
But when I’m with you, I don’t have to ask why
Right before you fall asleep, and breathe your last sigh
I thank God for love, and that you’re my guy

Freedom is a suit of armor the world won’t lift a finger to help you put on.
It’s having the strength not to stay, but leave.
It’s making the choice, and not being labeled as cruel or cold because of it.
It’s holding someone’s hand in hell without explanation.
It’s not saying ‘it’s not you it’s me,’ but saying how things really are.
It’s not making compromises, but living in the world you alone created.
It’s never surrendering your beliefs, not even for the greater good.
It’s taking risks, giving into temptation, and saying no as much as saying yes.
It’s not having to explain yourself, or experience regret.
It’s an art, it’s madness, it’s chaos, it’s hot, it’s light, it’s intense, it’s heaven, it’s hell.

I walk with fire
They'll never know the burn
No blue oceans
No blue skies
No tomorrows when you're
Constantly running
To the left and to the right
Some call it feeling alive
But it's more like dying
One second at a time
Some want to follow it down
But there's no bottom in this town
And every time the sun rises
You'll put on another face
And every time the sun goes down
The past is erased
It's crawling through
The bedroom window again
I've fought it for a lifetime
So it's time to accept
It's crawling through
My bedroom window again
The angel disappeared
As I cried my last tear
Upon torn pages
And red curtains
Who's responsible
For your sins
It's crawling through
The bedroom window again

Wisdom suffered and had a baby called the world
Confusion became earth
Terror became water
Grief became air
And fire just because

As I count pennies at the liquor store
And look around for the cheapest drink to pour
I want so badly to fall on my knees
Cause I'm reminded of the blood that I bleed

Quick fixes and temporary band-aids
Won't cure me tomorrow but today they'll save
Me from the veiled contempt in your eyes
A pirate in a sailor's disguise

My animal years couldn't last forever
I brought you shame and misfortune, ties I did sever
Now I feel like your pet parasite
But even collapsing stars shine bright when they're dying

I'm gagging on the future and choking on the past
Each moment is my swan song, how long will this last?
Can't bring myself to leave this world, till I solve the puzzle
Constantly caged in decay with a muzzle

Every second I have a miscarriage of the soul
And if you stare too long, you'll turn to stone
But the snakes in my hair shouldn't give you the chills
They have just enough venom as the weakest of pills

People don’t say hello to me
But goodbye comes easily
I see children playing in the street
But they don’t smile or wave-
I’m alone in my tree
And the highs and lows stream naturally
They come and go but in actuality
It’s impossible to know who you are
When you’re not allowed to be
No one needs to tell me-
I’m alone in my tree

Love and hate and black and blue and scars and stars and everything that's you
From picking flowers to cocktail hours, something doesn't fit, and it's your shoe
But you were never Cinderella, even with wallpaper yellow and the news
Your eyes are glazed, you're in a haze, lost in the maze they made with a stick of glue

What happens when tomorrow is a world away?
Why can't the sun shine at night?
How come history's never right?
When will you come out of this phase?

Cause if it's gonna last forever, I know you want out
There's a tick-tock in your head, and your faith has turned to doubt
If they only knew all the advertisements were giving you ideas
They'd cut out all the nonsense and say what you need to hear

(A girl must be ugly
A girl mustn't shine like the sun
A girl must make herself a boy
A girl must be no one)

Parting the red sea I saw thousands of
Big dead letters strewn across the path
I wanted to read them but I knew if I did
I would never make it back

I made it to the other side
And watched the waters crash together
When under my staff I found
A wet red letter

It’s time to go outside
It’s time to go outside

Must be on another planet
No way Earth has this much pull
Gravity serves a purpose
But it's dragging me down to hell
No one believes me-
When I talk or when I write
So what's the point?
Trying to avoid the knife
Don't have the luxury to repress notions
Depressing emotions
Could fill an entire ocean
Can't numb them with numbers
Cause I don't have the cash
So it's a roller coaster of black back-to-back
Cause if I had access to excess
The demons would go to sleep
And I could create something dissonant and harsh
Like only a freak would know how
But elation never lasts
Only my head which inflates like a balloon
But never stops until it reaches the moon
But it's already been there,
Says the craters on my skin
Now it's bound there like Prometheus
A wo-man outstretched like a star
But never to shine like one

I want to live in a place where the bed means truth

A perfect escape from a ruthless world

Candles, wine, music, and an ancient tapestry, a soft breeze through the window and a daydream at night

Lying wide awake in solitude, in the ****, in the mood for *****, or the newness of a tender touch from a stranger

You would tell him to wear a mask, be the phantom, disguise the fact that he's human, and then proceed to make love like aliens on a planet where the sunset is never-ending

Without words, but only a soft genuine kiss, you read each other's mind- Goodnight but not Goodbye- and in his embrace you slowly start to feel him dissolve- atom by atom- back into that foreign celestial heaven

And then the pain is numb in the aftermath of pleasure

You feel the Holy Spirit in waves- and imagine you're pregnant with God's baby.

Soon these scars will bleed
Onto the canvas of my soul
Spent so much time on my knees
Put all my keys, time, and jokes in a bowl

And these thoughts will die with me
Along with all the wasted minutes
You can spin it any way you want
No one knows who started this war

And there’s a battle raging on
For my destiny
Don’t know what side I should be on
Only hope I return to the stars

Cause soon these scars will bleed
Onto the canvas of the universe
Wonder, if in heaven, you need to breathe
Wish I had time to rehearse

I’m always the one who wants to have fun
But I always cross the line
And all the mistakes add up-
I know this
And I know the pain I caused you-
There are no excuses, only regrets
I just wish for all of us to be fun, safe and free
With one foot in fantasy, one foot in reality-
The way it should be (in a perfect world)
But it’s so easy to fall victim to extremes
And it’s so hard to say what I really mean…
You are my blood and I love you
But even without the spiral staircase of DNA we share,
I know we would still find each other,
If not in this life, than the next.
You are always in my prayers
And if you ever dare find yourself in a black hole,
I promise to be there for you every step of the way
Until you emerge a new, bright shining star.
Trust your intuition when nothing’s as it seems
Control is an illusion. Life is but a dream.
You are my Loveblood.

You’re all smiles while I lurk
You played dead while I did all the work
Waited so long for you to get on your feet
And when you did, you decided you didn’t need me
The world doesn’t need another song about love
But I need to get this out somehow
I’m hoping on some help from above
Till like you, I can take a bow
So let me rest now
Let me dream
For in dreams I can escape this cruel reality
A world where everyone wears a mask,
Plays a role, holding fast to empty promises
That always takes a toll
I suspect there was another spirit in your mist
Will she rewire you and teach you how to kiss like her
I guess I had this coming
I pulled you in when you felt like running
Someone’s got to teach me how to not give a ****
Cause glamorous ideas never make good plans