Here comes the anger and the tears and the frustration.
The yelling.
The punching.
The frustration.

Oh how senseless anger overwhelms me... even for the smallest things....

He's just fiction for now but soon he'll be springing to his feet
bouncing off my Apple screen...
leaping from my Final Draft program,
and -- he'll start to scream his dialogue at me...
                                 (PROTAGONIST)
"******* barefoot Mary Joseph n' John
what n' the limey beans took you so long----
What?! All to give me a **** voice?!
You haven't even given me a choice - mate!
Come on...come on..hurry up
we've got one heck of a writing date!
I've been locked up in here - like forever---
all up inside your brain...
while you were...What?!
trying to come up with a title n' What?!
My **** name!"
I'll have to answer him...
                                     (ME)
"I know, I know --
I'm slow...
it's just this whole time
                   (a beat)
I was carefully crafting your backstory
I wanted to give some obstacles
give you some powers n' incredible force
so you'd have a way to chart your course...
then rise like Hercules or Thor - you know
to give you some kind of wonderful glory
I wanted to give you a fantastic story!"
I was...
In Search of __All of The Above
Last but not least...
I wanted you to fall in Love."
                                 (PROTAGONIST)
Is that why you've got me all dressed up
like I'm going to ****** church?
Man, these shoes make me feel like Lurch...
                                (ME)
Wait! Did I just hear you say feel?
                                (PROTAGONIST)
Yeah, like -- duh! Don't you know ....
you've just made me real?

A hundred emails never read
From years ago, but still I dread
To take a look at this old book
Of all my cold detachment.
"Subject: FW: FWD: FWD: FW..."
I never even checked
And that is why they left me behind
And our relationships are wrecked.

Twenty texts I didn't answer
And you got the idea
I didn't want to be there for you
That's not true.
I wanted to be, but I failed.

Five messages I never saw,
But here they are, and still
I'll say nothing - I'll only watch,
And as I do, I ****
The friendship that we had.

Three calls went unreturned
Though I recognized the number.
I knew who you were, I just forget,
And I let this all go under.

Two performances I missed,
And two of you were there.
They ask you how it went
While I ask you "when and where?"

One letter I have failed to send,
It's the one I regret most:
I still have that letter in childish handwriting,
And to loneliness I am host.

Zero people left
Who have any reason to trust me
One person left
To remind me it's my fault
Two people left
To remind me of their trust
Three people left
To tell me I'm forgiven
Five people here
To be there even though I wasn't
Twenty people out there
Who've already forgotten
A hundred people beyond
To prove that life goes on.

Maybe

Maybe* she won't cry today,
And maybe he won't lie today,
And maybe life goes on today,
But maybe I'll be wrong today.

Maybe I'll be strong today,
And maybe tears won't fall today,
But maybe he'll break down today,
Because maybe she won't die today.

Maybe things get better today,
And maybe I'll write the letter today,
Maybe I'll sign my name in ink,
But maybe that's a permanent link.

Maybe that's too much for me,
Maybe "attached" is something I don't wanna be,
And maybe it'd be painful to watch,
Over the years; Death's painful march.

And maybe she'll go down today,
And maybe things won't be okay,
And maybe he'll give up and say,
That maybe he'll just run away.

But maybe I'll just cry today,
Maybe that's a better way.
Maybe that's my job today,
Maybe I'll just try to be okay.

Because maybe it's important to grieve,
And maybe it's okay to leave,
A little room to be left for me,
A little time to simply breath.

Maybe I should put myself first,
And maybe it wouldn't be the worst,
To maybe just take care of me,
Instead of being the one in lead.

*Maybe.

Beyond the lurid hills of wonder and the mirror lake,
  A land of livelihood and mirthful wake.

Where seraphim touch the facade of nature's beauty,
   Where nephilim perform their sacred duty.

The vast expanse of ethereal asunder,
  The demons quake in its peaceful slumber.

A paradise for few where the holy once held,
  Now the desires to consecrate purposes will meld.

The fruitful trees of an innocuous test,
  Which hold the desires of men in its breadth.

The wary traveler dare not stay,
  For in the garden will you shy away.
Breathe the breath of a thousand days,
  Yearn for the fruit from an eternal wage.

The garden of life, the garden of sages.
  The angels will call, and to the cull shall sin fall.