If walls could talk, these words you'll hear
'I love you so much, forever, my dear
We shall not cease, we shall not fear
We shall not give each heart a tear'

Oh, if walls could talk, we won't be hurt
If only we're not this oceans apart

I seek to express that which cannot,
perhaps ought not,
be expressed.
I seek to find the culvert
which allows, without folly, the
articulation and the metrification of
my woes and my bows,
to you.
Ah, the woe!
That you shall flitter and flutter and fly
away
to the place that is neither here nor there,
but certainly not
here.
A place in between the pages of which
dutifully record my
fear.
A place so far within the chasms of my,
but not only my, mind
where it is (was) dark and chilling,
a place to sometimes find the
bout of the unwilling.
A place to remain
insane
in constant pain,
as I.
A place.
A place which so elegantly
falls
away
at the mere mention of...
wait.
Please!
I implore you of your presence,
please.
But I shan't beg, no,
for you will certainly begone if I mistake
thee for a comman.
So I seek to express that which cannot
be expressed.
I seek not to cage, but to
so deeply swoon you and shower upon
the rightness of our pairing that anything else is
unthinkable.
But!
First I must prove such to myself,
beyond a shadow of a doubt,
that what I seek to prove
is something of a move
to the ultimate righteousness of the vast
universe.
But I must also consider the
curse.
The curse which must foul all things
with trepidatious verse!
The curse which must beguile and
tear asunder all that is beautiful
and all that I hold dear!
The curse which always brings the
forever loathing, cooing fear!
No!
I will consider you, curse,
but no longer is your power meaningful.
No longer shall I stay trapped
in the throes of my
ever-darkening think-sphere.
No longer shall I remain transfixed upon
the betwixt,
no longer shall I lie and say
no longer.
For I know no is not an option.
I know I am cursed,
and no amount of solitary determination will
ease my mind,
but you.
You are cursed also.
I see the struggle in thine eyes
which seer in the brightest fire this
world has ever known.
I see that which you keep locked away,
from the world,
but not from me.
The ambivalent mistrust of all things which
seek to know anything, even the smallest detail
of your singular life.
I see it.
I see you.
Within you,
I see me.
Within me,
I see you.

I want a girl that's sweet
So beautiful make my heart skip a beat.
Saving all her love just for me.
The one in my dreams
I wish she would make herself seen
because I would do anything
just to bring her here with me.
I need a girl in my life
Who will hold me tight
Cuddle in the night
Treat me right never cheat or lie
Because I hate that ****
you can keep that
I don't need that in my life
What I need is a woman in my life
Who can be real with me
Feel the same feelings that I feel emotionally.
That's what i want,Baby that's what I need
someone to love me for me

Hearts of stone melt
At heat tissues burn,
Blood to boil, into ash,
Muscle blown away
strengthless, weak
at Mercury's Ascent,
Wherein this fluid rock,
reveals molten flexibility,
An adept athleticism for
Love's sport alchemy
As  cold marble turns
to gold.

Trees sway above me,
Cold wind stirs dry fallen snow,
As the sun goes down.

I feel as though I'm different than the people my age that I see in the bars and clubs I go to

Not better, just not like them
Maybe lesser, I don't know

I don't dress like them
I don't listen to all the same music as them
Or even into the same movies as them

I wear Italian leather Beatle boots
They wear Nikes or Jordans
I listen to Bob Dylan or The Mountain Goats
They're into whatever rapper or dj is hot right now
They're talking about American ******
And I'm still trying to wrap my head around Inland Empire and The Holy Mountain

And it's not the fact that we don't have similar interests
It's the fact that we have nothing to actually talk about or bond over

I have problems meeting people and making friends
I even have problems keeping friends

I'll tell you why
I lose friends because I see people for who they are
I observe and I listen
I'll even call someone out if I've had my fill
Or I'll do something they don''t like
Not on purpose, I just **** them off

This one time when I was younger I had this "friend" and he asked m for five bucks
Now, this kid and I wee not close at all so I said no
Then I bought a drink  or something
And the next thing I know he's calling me grimy because I had money to give him but I didn't

It was then and there I realized the concept of the phrase "people ****"

People ****
We all say that
But why?
Because when someone does something to us that we would rather not have them do we automatically put them in the category of "****"

Oh you ****
He *****
They ****

We say that because they're not doing what we'd prefer them to do
Like hang out with us
Or do us a favor
Or keep a secret
Or lend money

But there is a ratio of suckage

The sucakge of someone's person depends on their history of things they've ****** at

If someone ***** at being on time, they're not really hurting you directly
They just can't get their **** together and by now you should prepare for that
So there isn't really any harm done

But someone who acts like a friend, gets on your good side, gains your trust and makes you feel comfortable enough to let your guard down just a bit
Then turns around and bad mouths you to people
Puts word in your mouth
Even make up lies about you
That persons suckage is outta here

And that kind of experience can make a person a tad wary in social situations
Bringing me back to my main point
That I feel a sting of separation between me and my peers whenever I go out

We're all twenty something
We're all out to have a good time

Then why do I feel so inadequate?
Maybe because I'm self conscious of my appearance?
Maybe because I'm not that tall, five foot ten is the average right?
Maybe because I feel like a loser for being at a two year community college for four years because I ****** up because I went through a bad break up and went into a drug induced spiral while dating someone who I used to make the person who broke up with me jealous and at the same time enabled me to further my drug use and care free attitude to rock bottom until I realized where I was and broke up with that person, got over the first person and met someone who made me a better me and gave me the confidence to  move forward
Maybe it's because I depend on relationships too much

And that's another thing
I'm with someone
But I go out to bars and clubs with the desire to possibly meet women
What the **** is with me?
That's wrong
Isn't it?
Could I be a polygamist
Maybe I'm just a selfish ******* who thinks with his ****

Maybe it's because I'm twenty one, still living at home with my mom and dad and don't really pay for ****
I work at a middle school in my town as a janitor part time for $10.25 an hour
Four hours a day five days a week
Most kids are either living at school and graduating by now
Or working and living on their own

Should I stop comparing myself to everyone?
Yes
Should I just keep trying to better myself?
Yes
Should I let the past be the past and learn from it?
Yes
Will I?
I'm making an effort to

I hate being where I am in my life right now
I'll tell you man it's been a long road and I'm sure you've had a long road too
And I feel for you even if I don't know you or have even ever spoke with you
Because we're all human
We all share this world
So why not?

You know maybe I am different
Maybe I am a little weird
Maybe I have a few issues
Maybe I am socially inept
Maybe I do **** because I;m not doing what I wish I was doing
Good!

That means I'm not complacent
Not that I'm ungrateful or anything
But I want more for myself and I deserve it
We all do

Some people say I'm the kind of guy who isn't happy unless I'm miserable
Well they could be right
Or maybe I just haven't found what makes me happy
But I intend to

I remember you like the first time
Every time
You’re the chill of wet lips
In a first kiss
The click of my favorite food
Against my taste buds
As I first realize
What a favorite is
You’re that moment of elation
When I first pulled it off
You’re a first ******
When everything is possible
And a last ******
When everything is precious
And scarce
And impossibly wonderful
You’re that crack in my perception
That moment
Where I stop
And realize
The world doesn’t spin quite so fast
Time gives me a thumbs up
While the trees snicker
But the universe just raises an eyebrow
And says
Now you see how beautiful I am?