In the 1960's we lived in a new house on an old dirt road
It was my parents first home and they loved their abode

Our house was the first one built in one of the new additions
It was a small 5 room ranch home to continue family traditions

At the end of our street there was an old settlers dwelling
The first settler and many stories that are quite compelling

My older sister and I  thought that the house might be haunted
We tried to walk up there, but by my parents we were thwarted

John and Mary *** were the first settlers in my home town
But their home in 1980's was not saved but quickly torn down

They arrived in 1818, and built on Taylor and Rocky Ford
This huge home by their family was respectably adored

Now on that big old hill stands a Masonic Temple
Where many gather to the meetings they assemble



Copyright 2025
All Rights Reserved

Late one sultry summer night, about mid July my boyfriend and I
Were looking for a friends house, for that night we were quite high

Going down the road we saw a house that fit the description
Looking at  all the houses of color and the house inscription

Pulling into the lot, noticed it was dark and all the lights were out
Thought this was the house we walked in the front entrance about

Opened the entryway  saw many people not moving on the floor
They didn't move when we came in and the scene looked of gore

Hurried back to the truck and drove to the very next house.
It was the exact same and as we entered were quiet as a mouse.

Everyone was up and partying, singing and having a ball
Like nothing upsetting next door was ever going on at all

Didn't know what happened next door but that scene I won't forget
Those bodies all over the floor, not sympathetic I will never regret

Halloween story
Oct 2024 publication
All rights reserved
copyright2025

Five teens out joy riding on a country road
Pulling along side and now  having slowed

Driving around looking for something to do
What we were doing, we didn't have a clue

Motoring past many miles of empty pasture
We should have driven past that place faster

Driving closer to a strange site in the field
That old ditch should have been sealed

Drawn to the side of road and seeing wood sticking out of the turf.
Wondering what this little excursion to the edge of town was worth

We get out of the car and walk cautiously up to this site
We were so glad that outside was still blue and bright

It's a basement of a home that has been torn down from long ago.
What was down there we were quite scared and did not know

We decide to walk down those narrow wooden stairs
Wondering who were the former owners or heirs

But only walking the creepy stairs half way down
In that basement house, of my former home town

Heard a noise and saw something glistening at the bottom
For all we knew it could have been some rats or a possum

Scared we ran up the stairs jumped in the car to head back to town.
Could have been the ghosts, our trip upon them they would frown

We were all scared to death at what we heard and saw.
Never to return to explore as we all drew a long straw

Copyright 6/3/2025
All rights reserved
Published 2024 in a magazine

I grew up enjoying days on my grandparents farm
Their small 1830's home had tons of grand old charm

I would spend my days hiking my grandpa's home made trail
And love to listen to grandpa's talk of his many young days tale

Summer months spent catching minnows in the creek
And grandpa showing home movies from the past week

The evenings of summer grandpa would tell stories of ghosts
And he would talk of his strange stories, of those he'd boast

I once heard the voices of four gruff big men in uniform talking
A plan to get their horses, down the hallway they were marching

I'd lay in the grass on a quilt looking up at the stars or blue sky
In the evening catch lightening bugs in the muggy evenings of July

He talked of the former owner Baker Martin who died of old age
Because of him that one room felt cold and damp, but not of rage

On his farm I would gather eggs and many chickens I'd feed
Then off to to slop the hogs and cattle it was my good deed

I'd walk picking up Edison Battery Oil bottles on the RR Track
Glass telegraph insulators and RR spikes, where they never lack

In the winter we would ice skate for hours on grandpa's pond
And the summer we'd boat and fish, of many days I'm very fond

With the laundry I'd help grandma hang on the line
When were dry they smelled just like fresh cut pine

Grandpa would let the all the horses and cows out in the morning
And they'd run off to favorite places on the farm without warning

I'd head to the barn to play with all the kittens and cats
They could see me coming, through the barns wide slats

We'd also work to plant the many tasty crops for fall
Planting corn, beans, potatoes, and other veggies for all

For when it became time to reap
Family would gather in a heap

Stringing beans, picking corn, tomatoes, and other foods
To put away to soothe the families very hungry moods

The chickens, pigs and cows were sent out to co op be prepared
Cut the tree's into firewood for our family that would be shared

Copyright 2025
All rights reserved

I'm almost to my middle 60's
Glad I'm past ten years of 50's

Wondering if my only one sibling
Has a thought or of me, is missing

I think of her quite often
Because I wish she'd soften

Father has passed, don't know what cause of death was
Mother may have too, and will never know the cause

My sister is to inherit our parents huge Florida house
Parents always would resort to treat me like a louse

My daughter and I , who are in pain and very ill
Wonder if any family memories of us are still

I had a stroke and I'm usually always in much pain
My daughter has an inoperable tumor in her brain

I try to make the best of all things
Each day I like to do some writings

In of her closet a library she is creating
Ordering new books that she is awaiting

I wonder if this is all our lives were meant to be
Our daily events seem to have few moments of glee

My daughter has been sick most of her life with a thing or another
No one came to see her, not aunt once not even her grandmother

For some reason my parents did not like me
Of me, they always wanted to be quite free

Parents always made me feel that others were more worthy
To impress them with things, I often did things in a hurry

I spend my days writing poetry and doing genealogy
While my daughter spends all hers in daily radiology

Time to smile and get on with rest of life
Without always feeling I'm under strife

Things for us could always be much worse
At least for now we don't need a live-in nurse.


Copyright 2025
All rights reserved.

In my tiny apartment I have many treasures that I've enjoyed
Things I've found dumped by the students not to be destroyed.

I don't have money to buy new, so everything I find is reused  
Things I found are, repaired, fresh painted and I'm amused

My apartment is full of memories I've created
So everything I've found is quite appreciated

Students go off and leave very nice things behind
Most things I find valuable and are nicely refined

I have found very nice solid wood furniture, most of it antiques
things that most people would not be interested in but are unique.

When my mother would come to visit she'd refer to my decor
As many things she would find at the local Habitat Restore.

But I've made the best of it and really enjoy what I found
And the contents of my apartment are quite useful and sound

Everything I've found has given me pleasure
But one mans trash, is another man's treasure!

Copyright 2025
All rights reserved

Time to cast off your bulky gear
of winter to prepare
for the timely arrival of Spring.

Nature is waking up
from its slumber
then soon the full Pink Moon
will illuminate.

Many like to clean away
the old fads of the year before,
readying to bring in the new.

The clocks have been set forward
and the lovely days
will eventually get longer.

Flowers and trees will quickly bloom
from the warm sun
along with cool and breezy showers.

Time for the kiddos
to splash around in puddles
in their rain coats and rain boots.

It’s also the time of year to shop
at the wonderful family-owned shoppes
at Crawfordsville.

For your best dressed looks,
and many beautiful fresh flowers
for the current season!

Published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper
Copyright
all rights reserved 2025

He'd bellow and holler and complain of his constant pain
in Henry's last days of his life, saying he was unable to
feel serene nor could he slumber.

At his request, I was supposed to be there at all times to help
calm him and take care of all his demands.

Nothing seemed to make him pleasant as the misery
from his steady pain took over every thought and
concern for me he may have had.

"Your supposed to be here at all times, but I understand
your problems as well". King Henry stated. He yelled at me
from his desk.

As bad as he tormented me, I could still feel he accepted and had some issue with me too. But because of his pain he was unable to think of no one but he himself.

Copyright 5/9/2025
All rights reserved.

The gray and white clouds are quickly rolling and turning in the sky
covering up the sun and uncovering it again, circling around
waiting to move to their next location
to re-form in the sky the second storm of the day.

They are churning about and tossing out the raindrops
and blowing out the wind cooling off the temps

Copyright 2025
All rights reserved

An awesome place at which you will want to stop
The town has many charming little posh shoppes

Come tour the town and the family-owned businesses
You will be quite glad that you drove the short distance

You will enjoy Greeks Pizzeria, and Brothers
Great places to dine where everyone gathers

They have Toney’s, Craw-Con and Just Because,
Bearded Comics, El Charro, & Prime to applause

There is never a dull moment in the alluring C’town
Everyday there is fun and something new to be found

Many events to choose, several times a year
Will continuously make you want to cheer

We’d love for you and family to come tour, visit and buy
Please come early, stay and play all day, now don't be shy!

Copyright 2024
All rights reserved
Published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

The Parades, the picnics, the family reunions and the fireworks
Celebration of the freedoms of our great country on all the networks

Time to shop at the family-owned businesses where you will find
Everything you need for every celebration, so you won’t fall behind

I love the flag of our stars and stripes of red, white and blue
I love being patriotic it’s the wonderful American thing to do

This is also a time when Americas’ newest citizens
Will take the oath of allegiance of their affections.

Copyright 2024
All rights reserved
published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

It's a nice day on the farm at the beginning of October
sitting in a weather worn wooden swing on my grandparents farm on a hill looking down at the winding gravel road below.

Feeling like I've not a care in the world, my only goal is to lounge in the yard and snooze on my grandmothers handmade quilt hearing only the birds chirp and seeing the clear blue sky's.

The harvest of vegetables and meat has been put up for the future winter feasts. It's time to be thankful for another bountiful harvest and begin thinking about the upcoming holidays.

A cool breeze runs through the farm, and the cats and dogs are laying in the front yard while they rest peacefully. As the week before was swarming with family driving up the long lane bumper to bumper arriving in many cars coming to help put the fall harvest away.

It's time to do nothing but to relax and enjoy, watch the cars drive by slowly as families come home from church services or go visiting friends.


Copyright, 2024
all rights reserved

I had a mini stroke in the days of early March of 2024
The symptoms were odd, nothing I've ever felt before

First I'd be numb and unable to speak
Then all of a sudden I felt so very weak

My daughter called the ambulance for me
This can't be happening, I prayed for thee

One of us is already going through radiation therapy
We don't need another illness that is too, our enemy

I'm in pain & grouchy and sleepy all the time, and I yell at life
Wondering if things can be normal and I can again look shife

This is all, I hope, is just a really bad dream
I hope I wake up soon or I'm going to scream!

I remember when we used to received free samples of new food and other free products to sample in the mail.

I remember three TV channels and only one black and white in the living room, with no remote. We didn't have an antenna. We'd have to call the TV repairman to come to the home put a new tube in the TV when it went out.

I remember TV Guide, when everyone looked forward to the new one every week.

I remember party lines on the telephone

I remember when we had to run to the bakery, the deli, the butcher, the greeting card store, hardware store and the  grocery when we were getting ready for a birthday party. It took all day to prepare.

I remember Christmas parties in school and we had an aluminum tree with a color wheel.

The Lennon Sisters, I listened to all their Christmas Music and watched them on the Lawrence Welk Show.

Lawrence Welk

Guy Lombardo's New Years count down.

I remember when the girls had to wear dresses and the boys had to wear a dress shirt  and pants  to school.

I remember when the boys and girls were not allowed to play together on the playground.

The schools used to supply green and white striped one piece zip up gym uniforms.

We always used to wear gloves, we always went out looking our very best.

On our report card we used to be graded  in citizenship, (being nice to your fellow man)

I used to know the number to call our own phone to test it to see if it would ring. You'd call the number, hang up and it would ring you'd pick it up and you knew your phone worked.

Used to be able to use five numbers to call on the phone with in your own city.

I remember when you could hang up the phone on someone and the phone would not disconnect if they didn't also hang up.

I remember when we didn't have to use zip codes

I remember Ice Cream socials and chili Suppers.

I remember Mamie Eisenhower's signature color pink washer and dryers that we had in our home. I also remember the pink tile
that was all over our bathroom walls.

I remember having milk delivered in glass bottles to an insulated square metal box with a lid on our front steps.

I remember listening to CBS Mystery Radio theater on Sunday nights.

I remember School lunches being read on the radio before school every day.

I remember Casey Kasem Sunday music countdowns.

and .10 ice cream cones from the Dairy Queen.

My mother used to make all my clothes.

I remember  8 Track Tape players, Transistor radios and Reel to Reels, Super 8 movie cameras, and movie projectors, and my first polaroid camera.

Dropping off a roll of film, or a movie reel and wait for several weeks before we got it back in the mail.

I remember S&H Green Stamps and going to buy furniture or TV's at the store.

I remember when all the stores were closed on Sundays and every holiday.
I remember when TV went off and midnight and came back on at 6 am.
I remember when drivers ed was in school.

Christmas Clubs that the bank offered so you could save your money throughout the year for Christmas.

There were no malls, you'd have to walk up and down the sidewalks to buy what you wanted.

Cigarette Machines in the hotel lobby

25 cent telephone calls from a telephone booth

.45 pack of cigarettes

Danner's 5 and Dime, real fresh and hot thinly sliced roast beef sandwiches served with a bowl of chili.

Tin star Restaurant that served the best roast beef sandwiches, before Arby's

Used to watch Popeye The Sailor man, Mr. Magoo, Felix the Cat, Road Runner.

Jack LaLane's exercise program
Julia Child's cooking program

I remember when there were automatic horse rides outside of the grocery store. You'd put a quarter in and your child could sit on it and ride for a minute.

Betamax and VHS machines
Reel to Reels
Howard Cosell
Jackie Gleason (and away we go) To the moon alice! bang zoom
wing dings

Bob Hope, Milton Burle (Uncle Milte) Jack Lemon, Danny Thomas, Jack Benny, Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett

The Rat Pack

Hanging out at the fishin’ pond I’d catch either blue gill or bass
Nearby was a huge field of bluebell flowers & Kentucky blue grass

In time for the 3 pm train I can hear in the distance the blaring whistle
Warning as it comes down the track, steaming past the purple thistle

Riding slowly by the conductors knew I’d be fishing, I’d hold up my fish, they’d open the window

And they’d say that’s a very nice fish Lynne, Can you catch one for me too, kiddo?

They knew me by name because they sometimes stop their train get off and say hello and come visit my grandparents on the farm.

They’d usually pause, get a plate of grandmas shuckie beans and cornbread, cobbler for a meal, after all quick break, was really no harm.

It was a great time for all of us when they would arrive on occasion
For the railroad men to stop by, it was for them, a little gratification

published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper 2024
all rights reserved.
Copyright

For all your Christmas desires and necessities, Crawfordsville, Indiana boasts a variety of wonderful locally-owned businesses brimming with attractive merchandise.
Don't forget to support your local businesses this Christmas.

Christmas

I love all the preparation

For December celebration

The office and school parties

Gifts for those you can’t deny

Sending cards and buying wrapping paper

It’s all just to prevent jealousy and anger

Now to the family you'll agree it’s time

To pick up that tree and make it chime

With lights shining on branches and colorful wrapped packages under the tree

Don’t forget the Nativity scene and color wheel don’t you feel a bit of glee?

Great care is taken to wrap presents and decorate

All for the day when the relatives and family aggravate

Soon another year will be out of the way

And then the Christmas bills come to stay

Copyright 2024
all rights reserved
published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

June the popular month for weddings and other celebrations

It’s also the time for the Crawfordsville 50th Annual Strawberry Festival


Three days of fun, food, and entertainment

Which I’m quite sure will be an enchantment


With many delicious foods, and brilliant arts and crafts

Something for everyone to appreciate, it will be a blast


Antique Car and tractor shows to enjoy, for both the young and old

kids’ games and lots of live acts performing, will be a site to behold


Don’t miss these upcoming exciting days of summer celebration

It would be a shame to miss these wonderful days of jubilation


                                Friday June 14, 15, 16.


Copyright 2024
all rights reserved
published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

There is something for everyone at the fair

Including lovers.

When my parents were teens, they met at the county fair.

They talk of those days at the fair when they first met

The competitions, the races, the food and rides

How at each year, they would relive their first meeting

To renew the glorious days of their youth long past

copyright 2024
all rights reserved

August

The fair, a place for the community to come together at

harvest time and show off their best work

Everyone wants a chance to win those blue ribbons

A time to start preparing county fair entries

Baking the pies, cookies, breads and cakes

Sewing the dresses, blouses, pants and skirts,

Creating science projects and science experiments

Packing up the Rabbits, horses, pigs, and the other live stock

Showing off your farm equipment and entering baby  contests.

Walking through the buildings to see the local business

And the last night to enjoy the fair you could pay

A few bucks and ride every ride to your hearts content.

Copyright 2024
all rights reserved
published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

Oh, the month of love
When everyone sees red
and many love to see the
delicious chocolates in a
golden heart or velvet red box

Roses for your loved ones are blooming
everywhere and smell quite fragrant

Eating heart shaped sugar cookies
topped with lots of delicious icing.

Kids making valentines boxes to
receive valentines from their in

The traditional grade school party
at the end of the day is always
sure to please!

Shopping for the best Valentines
gifts and flowers are always found at
Crawfordsville, Indiana family-owned
shops that are sure to please everyone!

Copyright 2024
all rights reserved
published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

Happy Valentines Day!

As summer comes to an end, we transition from light clothing to cozier, warmer wear. Labor Day presents the last chance to enjoy the mild warmth of summer's breeze. It's also a perfect occasion to visit Milligan Park for a day packed with entertainment.

Additionally, it's an excellent time to support local family-run stores in Crawfordsville, Indiana, by shopping for beautiful new additions to your autumn wardrobe.

Copyright 2024
all rights reserved
published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

One of the last big hurrahs before school starts and the summer ends.
Having to say goodbye (or trade) to one season for the next

Vacations in the U.S. started becoming popular when the trains were invented and people thought
they could travel faster by train.

Vacations aren't what they used to be; they have become an industry
Planning vacations is quite the chore these days
lots of decisions to, where do you want to go
North, south, East or west.

Stay in the country or fly overseas?

Do you want to take a plane, train, bus or car?

where do you want to stay in a B & B, cottage
hotel, motel or in a tent out in the woods.

What kinds of foods do you want to eat, is it a working vacation, educational vacation, skiing, hiking, exercising?
Do you own a time share, or a vacation home in another state?

Do you want to see sights on your own or follow an itinerary?

Making plans for a vacation today is quite tiring. Too much to think about, it's like writing a dissertation.

Used to be, you made a decision to go by car someplace, and you just called many months ahead for reservations, and usually stayed at a Holiday Inn.

Or just hop in the car and ride on route 66, where you got your kicks, driving slowly and really seeing the countryside along the way.

My grandma would celebrate, but only on Friday nights, when every member of the family sat at the table and drank an ice-cold coke. She called that a celebration and referred to it as a "WINGDING" Life was much simpler back then, and many times I wish I could go back to that more precious time.

Me, I choose to staycation, and look at things online, check out books and watch movies. It seems safer and less tiring to me. There is always something to do in your own city, like Crawfordsville, Indiana. Crawfordsville, Indiana (has a lot to offer) offers many fun things to do, wonderful places to eat with savory foods, and cute, locally owned places to shop for that perfect gift or souvenir, museums and lots of history.

You should enjoy your own back yard.  But I have always been the one to choose the route less traveled. I like staying home. There is no place like home. I think vacations are overrated, and you come back more tired and more stressed out than before you left.

Copyright 2024
all rights reserved
published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

As summer comes to an end, we transition from light clothing to cozier, warmer wear. Labor Day presents the last chance to enjoy the mild warmth of summer's breeze. It's also a perfect occasion to visit Milligan Park for a day packed with entertainment.

Additionally, it's an excellent time to support local family-run stores in Crawfordsville, Indiana, by shopping for beautiful new additions to your autumn wardrobe.

Copyright 2024
all rights reserved
published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

Sitting on my grandparent's porch in a swing, I see the pretty blue sky and the puffy clouds are mixing with gray, making it slate blue, and I begin to see the trees slowly sway

I hear the pounding of thunder, sounds like it's echoing through a steel tube and then I see a streak of blue lightening flash across the sky.

The rain starts coming down in buckets and hits the Tin roof making it sound like marbles are being tossed all about, and overflowing the gut are making deep puddles in the mud.

Copyright 2024
all rights reserved
published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

As summer comes to an end, we transition from light clothing to cozier, warmer wear. Labor Day presents the last chance to enjoy the mild warmth of summer's breeze. It's also a perfect occasion to visit Milligan Park for a day packed with entertainment.

Additionally, it's an excellent time to support local family-run stores in Crawfordsville, Indiana, by shopping for beautiful new additions to your autumn wardrobe.

Copyright 2024
all rights reserved
published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

July is often one of the warmest months, characterized by parades, fireworks, camping, family gatherings, and picnics.

Milligan Park in Crawfordsville, Indiana is a top choice for celebrations, offering a range of delightful amenities such as playgrounds, picnic shelters, horseshoe pits, disc golf course, splash zone and much more!

A common saying related to the 4th of July in the musical Oklahoma is that "by the 4th of July, the corn should be as high as an elephant's eye." This adage signifies the farmers' benchmark for crop success at this point in the season.

'As we near the year's halfway mark,' it's worth noting that some individuals also partake in 'Christmas in July' festivities. This period is an excellent opportunity to shop and support family-owned businesses and find unique items in Crawfordsville, Indiana.

The concept of 'Christmas in July' can be traced back to North Carolina. The Real Story Behind Christmas In July Started In North Carolina (southernliving.com)


2024 copyright
all rights reserved
published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

It’s time to start thinking
About nature to begin peaking

It rains frequently off and on
Then spring will soon dawn

Bringing vividly colored blossoms
That they will be most awesome



copyright 2025
all rights reserved

May, It’s quite an eventful thrilling time
For many it’s planning for the prom,
Choosing fashionable attire, and getting that new hair style
Receiving your graduation gown, class rings, and signing year books
Exchanging pictures and addresses of your college.
Clearing out your locker, some for the very last time
As you look back with pride and forward with ambition
It’s the end of an era, and start of a new journey
Congratulations to all the 2024 graduates!

copyright 2024, all rights reserved
published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

At my grandparents one summer day
While resting on the couch in May

I hear the footsteps of what I feel is four men
Marching down the small hallway near the den

They're talking about getting their horses
And riding in and around their courses

I jumped up quickly and ran to hall to see
But there was nothing to see in front of me

Men came through the original dining room, and out the back door.
I was really hoping not just to hear but to see just hopes to explore

I never heard those four men again, or perhaps I was always absent
When they came to visit their old home and missed their enactment

I always thought the way they were walking
Was more to me just like military marching

I've struggled for years in not knowing how to act
What to do or how to handle situations that might need great care
Only taught how to spend money and make fun of others
While my aunt was teaching her kids etiquette
My mother was teaching me everything but.
Pretending to care about me around others
At home it was daily insults, drinking and abuse.
I never knew what to do, always being afraid and intimdated by her
Hearing her voice of insults still today, I most of the time don't know
What to do, or which end is up.
She has destroyed me inside and out
The daily unstability that I feel with in myself.
Knowing that still today she would never approve or accept me
I was never good enough and, could never please her no matter what I did.

Unable to fulfill things in life I should have, but never having help
to get to where I need to be or should have been.

My life is full of confusion, wishing many times I was not here.
only holding on for a child,  I hope I've done a better job raising

A few years ago I was forced to move, having to dump all my beautiful furniture to afford the move.
I have had to furnish my home with furniture that had been dumped.

Some how with a glimmer of hope and feeling inside that I'm the luckiest person and I have so much.

I suffer with Agoraphobia and anxiety not knowing what to do next. Sometimes afraid to check the mail or take out the trash.

Hearing again my mothers voice, the disappointment I am to her.

No one has had to do what I've had to do to survive. Well maybe some have, but not in my family. I am the black sheep of the family.

There once was a stubborn horse named Robert
Who wished he could send his owner into orbit

Robert was named after my grandfathers close friend
Stubborn, to take advice or suggestions, he'd never bend

For when he was called, only to my grandmother he’d respond
Because of my grandfather for some reason, he wasn’t too fond

On Roberts back my grandfather would climb
And rode him to the fields, to work till dinner time

Grandfather always wondered if Robert ever caught on
To his nemesis who always pulled a bait and switch con

All rights reserved
Copyright 2022

Two happy little squirrel's playing near the curb
Driving by in my car I didn't want to disturb

They acted as if they wanted to cross
I slowed down and took a quick pause

First one crossed, and then another
And were happily once again together

Hope many others will want do the very same
Not watching out for animals would be a shame


Copyright 2022
All rights reserved
PUBLISHED IN 2024
published in the Crawfordsville, Indiana newspaper

Two boys were playing enjoying their wonderful Spring break
Living in the same neighborhood their friendship could partake

They were close friends and played together quite often
''till one day that they should have taken extreme precaution

They broke into a locked gun cabinet; the gun fell to the floor
A gun discharged hit the boy and he went running out the door.

Ambulance and police Found him in the friend’s back yard
Later dying in a hospital, his friends and family were scarred

He'd collapsed in a panic while running to his home
So now forever as a ghost this boy will always roam

One boy who grew up to be a man, never talked of this story again
He may tell the story to his wife and kids, or perhaps not even then

The death of his friend he carried very many years of guilt
This boy who turned into a man will always carry this to the hilt.

That boy was my friend, that I never got to grieve
For it is everyday that I will continue to bereave

Copyright 2022
All rights reserved

Tangled Emotions-The Covid-19 Effect

I feel like we (I) are living in suspended animation, stop action, or caught in a time warp, on pause, on hold, virtual reality, surreal, dazed, stuck, and drugged, in a fog, between two worlds. This doesn’t feel real to me. When will I wake up?

All these emotions are running amok in me. I feel I’m being pulled in many directions, what am I supposed to do, think or feel? How am I supposed to act? What is expected of me? Who am I? Where do I go from here? What’s next?

I can’t think, I can’t feel, I can’t breathe, I’m numb to the very core, I’m expecting something bad to happen, something that may or may not ever come. I feel like in my head that I’m a prisoner that can never get out. I want to cry but I can’t, I want to scream but I can’t, I want to hide but I can't, I want to run, but I can’t. I’m waiting for death, I’m waiting for life.

I’m in the middle of nowhere, floating in space, I’m in the middle of the field and as far as I can see there are trees and grass, but no people or animals, and no other life. I’m running in circles, and I can’t stop, my head is spinning like a top. Waiting for uncertainty to stop I am alone.

This is building inside me like a volcano, and the New Madrid fault lines are rumbling, this is a Tsunami ready to flow but there is nowhere for any of this “fallout” to go, Trying to make the best out of a merciless situation.

Copyright 2020
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Music of long ago reminds me of old boyfriends.
Taking me back to the exact time of my life
Memories I treasure, and have little regret
of things I did, people I hung around with
and places I went.
Still wanting to feel young and relive those times
Heading into my sixties, it can only be a dream
Now all I have to look back on is the memories
and the smells of yesteryears past.

In the early morning hours of a crisp foggy November
Driving down the dusty road a few weeks before December

Noticed a truck from a distance not moving with lights on
Driving closer  I noticed a person sitting, hours before dawn

Got out of my truck and walked up to the drivers' side to check
Only to be terrified to find out that this guy died in a wreck.

Finding no skid marks on the road
The victim probably never slowed

A guy hit a tree head-on and instantly died
I ran back panicking to my truck to hide.

His face was not a face it was mangled
Torn up in cut glass and his nose dangled

Never reported the accident to the police
After seeing this I wanted some peace

Later in the day, a newspaper was delivered
The man who died, I knew and I shivered

Not realizing it was my friend
I knew it was that person's end

Too drunk to call on the authorities
Not wanting to be arrested was my priority

The man was already deceased
At that time he needed a priest

I read in the newspaper the guy died on impact
Wasn't worried since the cause of death was a fact

Never forget that horrible blustery day
That I was drunk and walked away



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Copyright 2019

On my grandparents farm I recall
laying in the grass on the quilt that grandma made
looking up through the breezy tree's to the blue skies and bright sun
Summer half over, getting close to harvest time
The grandparents are walking through their fields of vegetables to be harvested
Uncle sitting on the tractor under a shady tree sipping at some tea
My aunt  sitting on the porch swing drinking some pop, resting after cleaning out the Smokehouse.
Gathering and cleaning ball and mason jars for harvest
It's been a busy summer of growing the fall harvest.
The cows standing outside the fence looking at me as if I'm going to entertain them.
We are preparing for family to arrive to construct the bountiful harvest for the following spring.
I see one car turn in, then another and another, then a line of five cars turn, and drive up the long lane.

I have always wished that someone would say
Please let me help,  I will take your pain away

For many years I've been in mental anguish
Mother's insults made me want to vanish

I live in a prison that is in my mind  
This I know because, I'm deeply entwined

You've carried a heavy burden, for so many years
Being a single parent of an ill child can bring many tears

In my late fifty's things have never changed
Because of my mother, my family is estranged

copyright 2019
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You made me feel guilty when I liked something
Kept me isolated from my sister, and other family
Told lies on me so society would hate me
Controlled me so that I'd act around others the way you planned
Sent me away to be fixed, because you said I was broken.
Pretended you cared, but that was just an act
Confused, scared and left me feeling insecure
Made me feel unwanted, not important and in your way
You called me names, ignored me and made demands
Drank and blamed it on me, but hid it from others
You were never a good mother because you abused me everyday of my life.
But you were the one who came out smelling like a rose
While I continue to suffer under your lies.

Copyright 2019
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I love you with all my heart, and you are okay.
Instead I heard will you forever go away?

I will look out for you. You are safe. I am here for you,
Instead she always made me feel sad and feel blue

Mother only taught me how to spend money
Never how to save, she thought that was funny

Loved to see when in my life I was in a bad place
Just another reason to tell family I was a disgrace

In my family, mother did so much damage
Looks like every things to her advantage

The lies she told on me to others were in her favor
When in truth my mother was really the betrayer

I am a prisoner of her actions
and she loved the satisfaction

Because this was her power
That would make me cower

She could control me like a puppet
While things in my life would plummet

She convinced others that I was very bad
So I'd have no one, this made her glad

Bad things in my life she said were always my fault
But abuse she put on me would never come to a halt

I'm still living in the shadows of her abuse
Even though I live far away, I am a recluse

Not a day or night goes by that I don't hear in my head
All those many unkind words to me she always said


Copyright Jan 6, 2019
all rights reserved

Christmas isn't always joyful for everyone
Many are homeless, ill and in need of care
Ignored by those who are always happy
No one wants to be burdened with sorrow
It's better to visit with those who make you happy
Because problems are that persons fault
So it's best not to get involved
They could have a mental illness
Staying in your cozy life
Don't step out of the circle
Is a way to pretend that all things are good
While the rest of the world needs attention

Copyright 2018
all rights reserved

Another year of Christmas to spend alone
It's supposed to be the happiest time of the year
But my only memories of Christmas past are sorrowful
Mother was never happy, and would rather drink
She'd sit and pout and make me feel guilty.
Just another Christmas that I ruined she'd say
I believed it was my fault, and wondered why I was like this
Trying to make things nice for my child, and hide the tears
Nothing is as bad as repeating the mistakes my mother made
But I keep thinking of the hell that I lived through every year


Copyright 2018
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Christmas is upon me, it's just another year
that I  am reminded of the past, and I sit in tears

Everything was supposed to be about, fun, parties and shopping
While my mother sat pouting in her chair, yelling and drinking

If I wasn't so bad, she'd say, we could go visiting others
But I was the one who always had to deal with my mother

You didn't act as I expected you to when you opened your gift
She'd run off to her room, pretending to cry because she was miffed

I'd then take each gift and go to her room and unwrap them slowly
& tell her how much I liked it, and she always made me feel lowly.

She said "You ruined another Christmas, when it was for you nice
The way you are, some day you will pay for your deeds the price


Copyright 2018
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I'm scarred from the inside out, with bruises that have no color
hidden tears from years of pain,

A lump in my throat  the size of Mt. Everest
No one knows my pain, no one cares

Each day in my head I hear my abusers voice telling
me I'm no good and calling me names.

This life I did not choose, I was born to my abuser
It's all I know, It's all I hear, I know no different.

These days will never end, and the pain will  never go away.
I must pretend that everything is okay, because that's how others want me to be.

Copyright 2018
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I cried because you rejected me
and lied because I was afraid of you
I hit myself to get attention and scratched myself to release pain
I cut myself  because there was no where to turn

You told me I was bad and called me names
you convinced others I was no good, and kept me from my only sibling

You never hugged, you never kissed, You never said you loved me
I ran away because I was miserable, you were drunk all the time.
Fell into the wrong crowd,  because I was hungry for attention.

I learned everything the hard way, you only taught me that I was bad, and I believed I was, for a very long time.
My inner self is numb and slowly dies each day. Today there is still no one to listen, no one to love, and no one to care.

Everyone thinks you were the best parent and feels sorry
for you because of me.

I used to wonder why I was so bad, now I know that I'm not to blame, but I am the one having to live with the damage a mother caused her child.

Copyright 2018
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From a young age, I always felt stifled
I wasn’t allowed to be me so I was muffled

Mother insisted at my school I be held back in first grade
Principal said no, she insisted and in her hands he played

She said I'd be better off ******* because someone could do something with me then
Because the way I was, I was unable to learn, refused directions again and again

Mother said I came from a loving caring family that I treated terrible
I just don't know how to appreciate, and made others lives unbearable.

Being me was really not acceptable
So I always felt quite skeptical

Everything I did, wanted to do, said or liked
Was considered bad, wrong, sinful and disliked

My having fun was not allowed
For I’d embarrass them in a crowd

I never knew what I was allowed to do
Because of that I never really had a clue

Never knowing what to do, say or how to act
Since all my actions against me were attacked

My mother said one thing to me and did another
I knew she favored others over me so why did I bother?

My entire life has been quite a farce
Attention I wanted from her were sparse

Always pretending to be such an outstanding mother
To impress the friends and family she shouldn’t bother

Mother said I couldn't work because I can’t get along with anybody
Making me dependent on her in every way, she said I was shoddy.

While mother was pretending to me that she really loved me
She was going around bashing me to any family she’d see

I’d complain that other family members treated me bad
She said all you  do is cause trouble and make me mad

If you could just grow up and learn to behave
Then everyone would be nice and about you rave

I trusted my mother when she said I was born bad, told her I  see
She asked the doctor for help but said nothing was wrong with me.

Mother spoke with fork tongue;  sold me out, lied to me constantly
Leaving me to wonder how to survive without her cautiously

I'm afraid to have fun, I'm always afraid someone will be cranky
When I did things I'd pay for it because mom would be very angry

Afraid to be me, don't know how to act, who I am, or what to do.
Today I feel the same and for that reason I will always be blue

At the age of almost 60 I'm finding out things were never my fault
I'd like to take all those bad feelings, and lock them in a vault

Copyright 2017
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I'm alive though all the years of abuse, but I've not been able to truly "LIVE" because my head is full of fog, confused and don't know who I am. Suffering from anxiety and depression. I live in a prison, in my mind.

I look out the window from above and see others conversing with neighbors, thinking why can't I be more outgoing? Why can't I let loose?

These walls I've built around me are like a chain around my neck as a dog has around their neck and can only go so far in any direction.

The harmful words from my narcissistic mother for many years has destroyed who I could have been, what I wanted to be, and where I wanted to go.

Those words don't go away, they never die, and are embedded deep in every fiber of my being. Those words are who I am, what I do and where I go.

Thats my life every day, every second, every minute, every hour.

Copyright 2016
All rights reserved

She's such a loser because she hasn't  worked for  many years
Her PTSD from years of abuse has caused her many tears

The family turned their backs on her  because she was different
She  used to go out with boys and do drugs and she's insignificant

Far from perfect she'll admit, but lack of guidance is how you would describe her
It’s been the same for years; people tell her to get over it and be happy

A bad temper rude and bluntness is all she knows
Never had anyone to teach her or show

She never wanted her life to be this way,
People don’t like her and shy away

She's almost sixty and still a burden to society
Others  she wants to know that this causes her anxiety

No family to visit her,  she keeps to herself and stays inside
In her tiny apartment near the train tracks where she still resides.

Her parents, both narcissistic always like things in their favor
But all the abuse and neglect for years is all they ever gave her

Its coming down in sheets, or in buckets.
Like Niagra Falls it doesn't seem to
want to stop.
Splat, Splat Splat when it hits the ground because
it's coming down so quickly and fierce.
Taking a break you can hear the rain slowing
down to a slow pace, and then a trickle.

Here it comes again fast and fierce.
Like there is no end.

Not a sound now, not even the
birds are making a noise.

I am hearing thunder in the distance
but still no rain can I hear.

The rain comes again, only not
so rapid it's a constant shower
only not as heavy as before.
I can still hear the splat splat splat
as the rain hits its target.

It's not done with us yet as
the radar shows a huge
mass over our city.

It's just another rainy, wet,
steamy hot day, the rain has
done little to cool things
off, even in late July.

The rain has unleashed another
heavy downpour, I hear echoes
of thunder in the distance.

Sounds like the roar of a train in the
distance.
If April showers
bring May flowers, what does
July floods bring in August?

The rain is very heavy again I can hear big
drops on the roof and some are hitting the window
with such force.It's not hail, it's just massive rain drops
falling from the sky, leaving puddles in the grass from
the constant falling downpour.

I hear drips hitting the ceiling coming
from the roof, soon it will be coming through
the ceiling, but we will have to see during
the next heavy downpour.

The rain is moving out
the clouds are rolling back
the sun is peaking through
I can hear the birds once again.




Copyright 2016
All rights reserved.

Dark and Stormy
Sitting on my grandparent's porch in a swing, I see the pretty blue sky and the puffy clouds are mixing with gray, making it slate blue, and I begin to see the trees slowly sway
I hear the pounding of thunder, sounds like it's echoing through a steel tube and then I see a streak of blue lightening flash across the sky.
The rain starts coming down in buckets and hits the Tin roof making it sound like marbles are being tossed all about, and overflowing the gut are making deep puddles in the mud.