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lovelywildflower Feb 2019
sitting in an H&R Block waiting room
a makeshift bed of chairs
eyes closing as the pain soaks in
the snow outside falling like teardrops
slow and painful, yet beautiful
my feet are numb from the cold
just like my feelings
anxiety rising like my body heat as I sit here
sheltered from the ghosts outside
the church bell ringing of my heart
searching for words out in the cold
as if they'll appear on the window in front of me
all I want is a quiet and easy life
it's been so loud and painful so far
empty stomach, full head
why can't my mind be hungry instead?
I barely feel a smile deep inside me
yawning mouths, tired eyes
on edge, on the edge, why can't I jump off the edge?
I keep moving toward the storm, torn
I'm not who I'm supposed to be
sitting here for over an hour just thinking isn't too good for me
496 · Nov 2018
i bet someone can relate
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
that agonizing pain in your chest
teardrops forming puddles on the bathroom floor
biting down on your hand or a towel or anything
to keep from making a sound
your body trembling and shaking
and you're surprised you just haven't given up yet
the scars already on your body pulling you in
and urging you to just rip open your skin
but there's that promise you made
the promise you can't break
no questions asked
so you cry until no more tears come out
but by then you're throwing up
because you cried so hard
and all you want to do is scream
but you can't
so you pick yourself up
and when you look at yourself in the mirror
you're not that surprised at how broken you look
then you practice your fake smile
try to splash your face with cold water
to try to make it look like you weren't just falling apart
and then you open up the bathroom door
hoping that there isn't someone on the other side
494 · Nov 2018
take me there
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
take me to the ocean. i miss her. i haven't touched her waves in so long. i want to feel the cold water on my skin. i want to touch the whole world. i am a storm. i can relate to the rage. the moments of calm. the overwhelming pain. i can feel it. the agony. take me to the ocean. i miss her. take me. take me to the ones with coniferous trees on the beach. the grey mist. the empty beaches. the cold breeze. take me there. just take me away from here. and when i die. cremate me. and spread my ashes along the waves.
lovelywildflower Sep 2019
when this life ends, i hope to find you in the next life and the life after that. i will always find you.
lovelywildflower Oct 2019
reach out to hold me and i will do the same. i will protect your whole being.
490 · Nov 2018
still scared
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
i feel like i'm still holding so much back
i'm sorry, i'm still too scared to get attached

lovelywildflower Oct 2018
i'm getting very attached and i love you so. please don't break my heart. please don't go.
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
"her hand in his, he became her tomorrows."


- atticus

lovelywildflower Oct 2019
you touched me without using your hands and i fell in love
487 · Nov 2018
ache
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
i n e e d you

i cannot B R E A T H E without yo
                                                              ­      u

it h
      u
         r
            t
              s

                               *             *              *      
                                     *          *        *      *
            it's such a    *        beautiful      *              pain
                                    *        ­ *                *
                              *            *  ­         *              
trying another thing
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
what if it's not me that you want but the idea of not being lonely?
what if you don't want me?
what if you leave me?
what if you find someone better?
what if you break me?
what if you change your mind?
what if you find something you don't like?
what if you meet me and i'm not the one?
what if someone finds us and tears us apart?
what if, what if, what if
what if i lose you?
lovelywildflower Jan 2019
nobody will know the exact pain we went through, but we did it together.
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
i'm going to hold you in my arms and in my heart and in my whole being forever.
476 · Sep 2018
Avoiding
lovelywildflower Sep 2018
I've been trying to avoid you
to avoid getting hurt
but I can't stay away
even if I'm in pain
lovelywildflower Mar 2019
i love you so much. i want you home in my arms.
lovelywildflower May 2019
i want to sit on the kitchen counter in my underwear at 3 a.m. with you and talk about the universe.
lovelywildflower Mar 2019
you are my drug and i know i'll be addicted to you for the rest of my life.
lovelywildflower Apr 2019
i'll hold you while you cry and stay up all night just to make sure you're okay, even if i'm breaking.
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
it's actually pretty simple
i'm too scared to feel
i've only loved one other person in my life
and i was broken
you see
i thought he was the one
i thought it was going to be him
and my heart shattered
when i realized it wasn't
maybe it is
maybe we just needed a break
maybe we're really meant to be
why would we be so close still if it wasn't
i'm still holding on to him
that's number one
but number two is that i'm scared
too scared to open up
too scared to let anyone know me
too scared to feel
too scared they won't like something
and then leave me
you know exactly what i mean
there's probably more reasons i don't know about
it's whatever
it doesn't matter
lovelywildflower Mar 2019
i'm a mess but i love you more than the universe could ever confess.
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
i hope you know you're so ******* adorable and i love it.
lovelywildflower Oct 2019
god must have taken his time on you because he made you so ******* beautiful.
457 · Nov 2018
first dates
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
i'm different
unique
i'm not like everyone else
which is a very important thing to remember
no one else is like me
most girls want roses
and milk chocolates
on first dates
but if you really want to please me
bring me sunflowers
and mint chocolate
and if you know that
then you have the key to my heart

just expanding a short poem i wrote
lovelywildflower May 2019
you hold every broken piece of me and i love you for that.
lovelywildflower May 2019
if you fall, i will lift you up. if not, i will lay down beside you.
lovelywildflower Sep 2019
your smile lights up the dark forest inside my mind.
453 · Nov 2018
too sad to function
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
in guitar class
holding a guitar in my hands
but my fingers aren't moving
they're not working
i'm trying to play
but i can't
every time i breathe in
a cloud of sadness gets pulled in
and my lungs ache
tears are falling
i can't see the notes
my vision is blurry
why can't i move?
lovelywildflower Oct 2019
i don't know anything anymore, but i do know i love you.
452 · Oct 2018
pretending
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
i sat outside in the cold today
everyone complaining about the chill
i was wearing a tank top
while everyone had jackets and sweatshirts
everyone was shocked to see me there
just withstanding the cold weather
the truth is
i was shivering
i was freezing
but i liked it
i liked the feeling of becoming numb
i liked pretending i was tougher than everyone
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
everytime you text me something to make me laugh, i imagine you laughing with me and it fills my heart with so much peace and happiness.
lovelywildflower May 2019
because of you, i believe in good things again and you are one of them.
446 · Sep 2019
~
lovelywildflower Sep 2019
~
i fell asleep amongst bottles of paint
and strokes of love
thinking of you
and the undying love that is
buried deep in my heart
and around it
an unbreachable wall stands to this day
unequivocally there
and withstanding
your heart is a poem
whose words bind with mine
your eyes are a paintbrush
that paint the skies
you've got a handle on my heart
painting on the canvas of the future

 - you were always an art form too beautiful for unworthy eyes
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
it's written in the stars. darling, we belong together.
lovelywildflower Mar 2019
i think of you all the time. everday. day and night. in my dreams and in reality. just constantly.
lovelywildflower Mar 2019
you are the home that i've been searching for.
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
i don't feel like i belong anywhere, except in your arms.
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
"i will follow you, my love, to the edge of all our days, to our very last tomorrows."


- atticus

439 · Nov 2018
fall
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
fall
fall
fall asleep
fall
fall
fall in love
fall
fall
fall like leaves
fall
fall
fall like teardrops

lovelywildflower Mar 2019
"i will come home to you, or if you will, come home to me and i will wait for you."
- "Julius Caesar" by William Shakespeare
lovelywildflower May 2019
i love you. i would drink the ocean just to make sure you wouldn't drown.
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