You're still on mind
even though I don't want you there
I keep feeling like soon you'll appear
trying to prepare myself
for the attack
this does to my heart

Maybe I know it's coming
That you're going to try
To reach me again

And I don't know what I will do.

You hid your addictions from me
Did I mean that little?
I didn't need to know about your sicknesses
That could have hurt me?

Did you think I would run?

I can promise you one thing
I wouldn't have.

I can remember when I woke up the next day
not wanting to open my eyes
there was a split second
when it felt like i forgot
but once the coldness sunk into me
I was done for

Looking back on that day
I wish I could look at that girl
and tell her to stand up

I swear I thought this was going to **** me

I don't remember when it turned, it just did.
I started waking up without hesitation
to open my eyes
thinking of my mornings now
I realize I'm alive

and I'm beating you at your own game
because you wanted me to stay under the covers, didn't you?
you should of known me better than that

I knew it was real when i faced her
she is your blood
she loves you
I could see her heart hurt for me
but there was no surprise in her eyes
she knew this day would come,
though she hoped it wouldn't

We went through the events in your life that could have lead up to this
why didn't you ever tell me
She held me
i think she hurt because
she believed I made you better

I love her
as if she was my blood
but when the word
run
came off her lips
I knew that meant
this life I've built
that she was a part of
was over

Guilt comes over me
because I don't know why I do this
moments of my ego being fed only hurts others
I don't want to be this person

The kind of girl who has no interest
but pretends to
only for the sake of feeling wanted

So I begin to lie to get out of a situation
that I know will only mess with your mind
I know you don't believe me
but this is for you

I know you're good
You have a great love
I know because I've felt it
but I'm gone now
and you don't deserve
to be used