"There is no saving him,"*
the doctor mumbled as he cleaned his glasses,
I could almost see him choosing
what he would have for his lunch
as he glanced eagerly at his watch,
watching the seconds tick as my response delayed
him from his freedom.

Seconds that ticked
as he passed away,
taking most of me with him.

I get drunk
from your perfume
and high from
the very scent of you.

I thrash when the cravings
for the curve of your spine
become too real to deny.

The withdrawal
from your lips
is treated with whiskey
that tastes like dust
in my mouth.

The sound of your laugh
as you smile with your eyes
black hair cascading gently over your face
while you wear nothing
but the shadow of my sheets
is what my heart pangs to see.

instead alone here I'll lay
under the lampshade of an oak tree
and the memory bright
in my tears
that choke at my throat
as if those silk soaked hands of yours
were wrapped around me.

I should have quit
but instead I continued to care for you,
even as you sliced each cut
delicate but deep
into me.

If only I had known
the morphine-tuned tubes
that would inhabit my arms.
The clatter of that knife
the symphony of my life
as my vitals
begin to desert
the hum they give to these machines.

I should have quit,
but I stayed -

I should have quit,
because there was no saving you,
now, there's no saving me.

"Now, this is a view
That I wish I could see forever"*  you sighed, whilst peering at the landscape
That tumbled in front of us in a way that only nature could!
"I agree," I smiled, glancing at only you, taking your hand and silently wishing that you will be my forever-view.

Life is not like instagram,
it doesn't come with an edit button.

I am just glad
that we have that offline
kind of love,
where we really see and hear each other.

You should shine,
because the world is yours for the taking.