I guess you could call it poetic how by the age of 12 I had no recollection of what happiness tasted like on my tongue. Some would say it was tragically beautiful.
But it was not poetic, nor was it beautiful,  but it was tragic. It was so very, very sad, and that sadness is only doubled now that people see sorrow as glorious.  It is not glorious. It is not strength. It is a lump of iron in your chest and stomach and it eats you from the inside, out and you have no right to think that blood stained wrists are anything other than tragic. So very,  very tragic.

For we have thought the larger thoughts
    And gone the shorter way.
And we have danced to devil's tunes,
    Shivering home to pray;
To serve one master in the night,
    Another in the day.

As quickly as the ocean's waves turn themselves in
And as nimble as the ballerina making her final spin

As timely as the spring flowers come to life
And as melancholy as tonight

As agile as the lion's prey
And as doomed as the words I could never say

I love you, I love you
With as much blood as my heart can take
With as much breath as my lungs can contain
and let go.
Infinite.

I love you, I love you
With as much width as these tiny hands can hold,
With as much as steps these feet can muster
Limitless.

I love you, I love you
With as much time as this universe has.
*Boundless.

My lover's eyes caressed the
Contours of my naked body.
So vulnerable, I clung to every
Gentle touch and fell in love
With every catch in his breath.

But as I went to take a drag,
He handed to me a cup,
And his lips formed a trail of blood
As he pierced into my chest
"Alcohol kills so much quicker, dear"
With the same mouth he used
To kiss me.

We haven't spoken in a while.
                                                                ­                                 ✔️Seen 2:30 am
I miss you.
What happened to us?
Do you ever think of me, the way I think of you?
                                                            ­                                     ✔️Seen 2:35 am
No you probably don't.
You moved on.
I should too...
                                                          ­                                       ✔️Seen 2:36 am
HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE ANYMORE? Especially after EVERYTHING we've been through.
You heartless *******.
Everything was a game to you, wasn't it?
                                                                ­                                 ✔️Seen 2:40 am
I'm done.
Have a nice life.
                                                                ­                               ✔️Seen 11:30 am
                                                             ­                                                    Wait.
                                                                ­                                         I'm Sorry.
✔️Seen 12:00 pm


(a.d)

I am not entirely happy
I am not entirely sad

                                                            ­                             I smile sometimes and
                                                             ­                            I laugh at funny things
                                                          ­                               I can crack a joke and
                                                                ­                         Be around people.

But at night when I am alone
Is when the thoughts start coming
When the tears escape my eyes
And when I start to feel the worse about myself.
This is the time when I just want to disappear.



(a.d)