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296 · Dec 2014
They Won't Stay
LS Dec 2014
If there's one thing I learned
About being in love while being young
Is
They
Won't
Stay.
You can go ahead and show them every single part of you and you can make promises of "forever and ever" and you can feel complete in their arms but somehow some way
They
Won't
Stay.
So go ahead. Show them.
Show your "true" lover your scars.
Show them your ugliness inside.
They won't stay.
They never do.
296 · Sep 2014
Beautiful Creature
LS Sep 2014
Because I need you
That's all I know
Oh my god
I need you
I need to kiss you
In front of everybody
I need to hold you
While your walking
To let everybody know
That I can have
Something as beautiful as you
294 · Jun 2014
Ache
LS Jun 2014
My arms ache
The space where her
Slim body fell into perfectly
Aches
My arms don't know what
To do
Since they don't hold you.
My fingers long
To touch your sweet face
And move your soft hair
Behind your ears.
My eyes are tired
Of this dismal scene
That is called "this world"
Because they only see you
In pictures-
It isn't enough.
My heart,
Oh my heart
How it aches
So deeply
To know that
Your heart was its.
Two halves
Fit together perfectly
Your neck was made
For my head
Your lips made
For my kiss
Your fingers made
To lace through mine
Oh how I wish
You were mine.
But now
I am left aching.
294 · Feb 2014
Nonsensical
LS Feb 2014
I have never felt this way
Where there is only one person
I hate and despise
And that's me.

                          I hate myself.
My body.
My mind.
My heart.

                               I feel dead.

As if a beauiful girl
Showering her love
And her awe to me
Wasn't enough.

                                I broke that girl.

With empty promises
Coming from a throat
Sore from screaming
At the world.

No, I couldn't leave her alone
But I needed to be alone
In the end.
I hate myself.

Im free.
But I'm not.
I can't let go.
I hate myself.
292 · May 2014
God I'm Just
LS May 2014
Heartbroken and silent
Asking why me
I miss her smell and smile
Her caress and kiss
I miss her laugh
And even her cough
I miss her shoulder
And collarbones
Her hips and stomach
I long for the feel of her skin on mine
I just ******* miss her
So ******* much
291 · Jun 2014
It's Not Like I Love Him
LS Jun 2014
We aren't even dating
We've talked for a whopping
11 days
And last night he said
Some pretty ******* serious things
And I asked him about
It this morning
And now I'm crying
Because he didnt mean it last night
God I'm so stupid
It's not like I love him.
It feels weird typing him.
I catch myself all the time
Wanting to put her
Instead.
LS Sep 2014
I kissed her and she tasted
Like cigarettes and the
Gucci guilty she uses to cover the smell
She tasted like regret and tears
She tasted like desperacy
As if she'd never kiss my lips again
And her tongue was so sweet
Pressed against mine
Softly moving
She and I, we feel the same.
Except maybe im
Just a little more numb.
289 · Aug 2014
Finding Myself
LS Aug 2014
You been upside down
You been low low low
Pretending to not feel alone,
Pretending to not feel alone.
288 · Feb 2014
I cut
LS Feb 2014
I feel my fingers grip
The razor blade
Been there for me since I was 13
I still get a rush
From it
And I still feel my lips
Curl into a smile
When I do it
I love the slice
Of my pale skin
An the bubbling crimson
That sting when I try to sleep
Let's me focus on something else
Than my pitiful memories
Part two.
287 · May 2015
Untitled
LS May 2015
So I pick up a book
And read words that
Make me feel something inside
Ones where I cry at the end
Just to make sure
I can even feel.
287 · Jun 2014
Promise
LS Jun 2014
I am afraid
I am the reason
People have problems
With trust and love--
But baby
Promise me
I can't scare you away
Cause I need to drink your words in
I need to feel you
Need me
286 · Jun 2014
Runnin Away
LS Jun 2014
Me: yeah, it's be fun while it lasted.
him: fun? It would be unforgettable.
285 · Aug 2022
Play Doh
LS Aug 2022
I press my lips to yours
A caress; soft, gentle, malleable.
I am malleable.  
Pick me up, please,
Pick me, shape me, mould me
Tear me apart with your big strong hands.
The caress turning into a sting,
I feel relief when you hurt me so sweetly.
281 · Aug 2014
Never.
LS Aug 2014
Never have I ever
Felt so alone
Unloved
Never have I ever
Regretted something
This much
Never have I ever
Woken up
Still drunk
Never have I ever
Fallen out
Of love.
281 · Jun 2014
Bitter? Me?
LS Jun 2014
Who knew I'd be so bitter? I should be happy for her, but all I feel is a strange and sour taste in my mouth. She is doin amazing. Amazing.
It makes me feel like I've been holding back.
Like I'm the one who has stopped her from doing these great things.
God, she works out. She has kissed somebody else. Now somebody knows what it feels like to have her wonderful lips against yours.
281 · Dec 2014
Opening Up
LS Dec 2014
You made me think my own father wouldn't love me.
im sorry.
I just want to go to bed now.
okay, can I have a hug?
No.
279 · Dec 2014
He Likes It
LS Dec 2014
He likes it when I arch my back
And ask him to give me more
He likes it when I gag on him
And shove down even more
He likes it when I bite my lip
And tease him a little more
He likes it when I cry silently
And don't open up to him any more.
277 · Aug 2014
It Makes Me
LS Aug 2014
Jealousy
Makes my hands fists
And
Jealousy leaves
A bitter taste
In my mouth
It chokes my throat
And it clenches my
Stomach
Curls my lips
Jealousy
Makes me detest
The one I love
276 · Nov 2014
Alone feeling
LS Nov 2014
I'm wrapped up in his arms
His kiss
His smile
This is the only time
That I don't feel alone
276 · Mar 2015
Heights
LS Mar 2015
I'm high so high
Up in the sky
In big clouds of white
274 · Jul 2014
You Look Beautiful
LS Jul 2014
You smelled
Sweet
Of outdoors and wine
Your eyes
That vibrant blue they get
When you've been drinking
A little too much
You are so skinny now
A thin yet
Curvaceous rail,
The body all girls
Wish to have.
You ask to use my bathroom
Your heels in your fingers.
God,
You're so beautiful.
So ******* beautiful.
So beautiful
I'm crying.
274 · Aug 2014
Love is..
LS Aug 2014
All that love is,
Is many emotions into one.
Lust, safety, trust.
Or
Anger, jealousy, desperacy.
274 · Dec 2014
And...Forget
LS Dec 2014
All I want to do is get drunk
And forget what her face looks like
After we get done kissing
I want to forget how nice her laugh
Sounded against my ear
I need to forget how we'd lay in bed
And just hold each other tight
How she'd say "I love you"
And how she actually meant it
I need to forget everything
In my ******* life
272 · Mar 2019
Untitled
LS Mar 2019
wine, cigarettes, and sin
What I wouldn’t give for a taste of that
Of you
271 · Dec 2013
Release
LS Dec 2013
I smash my fist into her
Bleached teeth mouth
And feel a satisfying crack
As blood falls from her lips.
I can feel her perfectly manicured
Fingers dig into my long blond hair,
Trying to get a hold of me.
I push her against lockers
And I break her
Fake little face
And push out the words
She called me through my
Balled fists.
I hear my voice screaming
But I don't know what it's saying
All I know is she got her lesson,
And I'm happy to be suspended.
271 · May 2015
So kiss lots of Girls
LS May 2015
What I love
Is falling asleep texting them
And waking up
To see they still said goodnight
Even though they knew
You were asleep.
Haven't had one of these in a long time.
271 · Jun 2014
Blank Page
LS Jun 2014
What is depression?
I could have sworn
My depression was seasonal
It only came with the snow
And the cold.
But the grass is green
And the sun is warm
But my heart
Feels like it isn't even there
My hands don't feel like they're mine
My head is a blank page
I don't really talk to anybody
Except him.
He is good.
But it feels as if I have no friends.
270 · Jul 2014
Who I fall For
LS Jul 2014
I fall for alcoholics,
Drug addicts.
I fall for people
Whose parents are getting divorced
Or have to take care of children
That aren't even theirs.
I fall for people
With nicely sized noses
That have been broken a couple times.
I fall for the ones
I think I can save.
269 · Jun 2014
Moving On
LS Jun 2014
I'm trying to move on,
I promise.
But how can I?
When I still wish to wake up
In her arms?
How can I when I want to
Jump on her and kiss her
And yell "wake up wake up!"
And spend the day laughing loudly
And kissing and cuddling.
I cannot move on.
Not when I still miss her so much.
269 · Mar 2015
Dear Mykayla(8?)
LS Mar 2015
I still miss you so much
It's a little ridiculous
How it's been almost a year
Since we broke up
I feel like I could still cry
Still scream
Beg for you back
But I feel even you can't
Pull me away from the edge
I'm standing on
You're still so beautiful
Ever since you and HER broke up
You've actually said a few words to me
I miss you so much.
267 · Jun 2014
I'm so Spent
LS Jun 2014
I crack my eyes open
At 12 pm
To see a dark room
I lay there for an hour
Then spend my energy
Going downstairs
And sitting on the couch.
I take my daily Iron pill
But my mother knows
That an iron deficiency
Isn't what keeps me in bed.
I eat a little
And climb bak into bed.
I read,
I draw, I write.
I message him.
Sunny Summer Days?
My ***.
267 · Nov 2014
Sentence
LS Nov 2014
I'm an unfinished
Sentence with horrid spelling
And strange punctuation
But if you read me
You feel the emotion
Puslsing out between the letters
267 · Jul 2014
What My Poems Are
LS Jul 2014
Hello poetry
Is more like my diary
Than it is poems.
Maybe that's all poetry ever is.
A prettily worded diary.
266 · Jun 2014
Pen & Paper
LS Jun 2014
I try to make sense of all these
Things I feel
And why I feel them.
I should sit down
And make a list
Of my feelings
And who or what
Or why or when
I felt them.
Because my head is so full
And my heart is so empty
All I need is a
Pen and some paper
To save me from insanity
266 · Feb 2015
I thought she got away
LS Feb 2015
And I just want to touch her
Hold her
Kiss her
Because even though she is
Officially mine
I still feel like she is the
One that I'll never have
266 · Jun 2014
What My Worry Is
LS Jun 2014
I'm worried
She thinks I don't care
That I've simply moved on
When I feel tears at the back
Of my eyes all the time.
I don't go out much,
Too busy in my room
Losing myself to
Endless stories.
I'm worried
She is already over me
In a way,
When all her smiley faces
Make my stomach turn up
And down.
God I'm so worried
She will hate me
And think I'm a monster
Because if she did
I'd believe her.
266 · Jun 2014
Warped Little Brain
LS Jun 2014
God, I'm
******* sorry, okay?
I didnt know
You'd hate me talking
About my almost nonexistent
Love life since you're gone.
Maybe somewhere
In my warped little brain
I thought you'd be relieved
I wasn't ******* around
Like you had worried.
I guess I can't do anything right.
266 · Sep 2015
Untitled
LS Sep 2015
I'm laying down
With my head on her chest
As I write this
And her heartbeat is
Thumping steadily
In my ear,
Her breathing even
And slow.

And those three words
Get caught in my throat
Every time I
Look in her eyes
266 · Mar 2015
Untitled
LS Mar 2015
My stomach hurts
Up into my throat
I feel like throwing up
All the knives stabbing me
In the back
264 · Feb 2014
I want to be happy
LS Feb 2014
I wan to pull the trigger
And swallow the pills
I used to never
Cry at night
Every night
But now I guess I will
And I can't stop the tears
Cause I'm crying for me
And nobody else
I hate myself
And want it all to end
I want to be happy,
I really do,
I just don't know how.
264 · Jun 2014
Pieces on my Messy Floor
LS Jun 2014
Funny how
Forever
And always
Was crushed
After
A year and a half.

Isn't it
Hilarious
How
"you're beautiful"
Turns into
"you're a ****"?

How silly
That
"only you"
Turns into
"all of them".

How stupid
Of me
To think
We could last
Through it all.
264 · Apr 2019
Binge Cycle Only
LS Apr 2019
My feelings have been bottled up for years
My mind is heavy with thoughts
Stretching back so far I have no memories,
Just feelings and moments

When I drink they crowd around
And whisper the darkest things
I wonder if what they say is true

I eat and eat and eat
Till my stomach distends
And when I burp I feel the pressure
Feeling so full
Is the only thing that makes me feel...full
262 · Jan 2015
Uh Oh
LS Jan 2015
I love the way he fills me
And ***** me like he hates me
I love the way he grabs my hair
And holds my hips so hard it hurts
259 · Aug 2014
Do you understand?
LS Aug 2014
I need you.
I need you so much.
You are where my self worth is,
Where my happiness starts.
Where my sadness ends.
You make me feel
Alive
In the best of ways
And when I'm not around you
I feel
Dead.
Don't you understand?
I need you.
For everything good in life.
253 · May 2018
Maybe
LS May 2018
Maybe he doesn’t want to
Make love to me
**** me
Hold me kiss me
Be with me

Because I’m simply too fat
It hangs from my arms and chin
My fat weighs down every step
I take making the whole earth
Shake and shudder,

I’m tired of people saying
“You carry your weight well”

I’m tired of people saying
“She was prettier 2 years ago”

I’m tired of my boyfriend saying
“Not tonight, I’m tired”
Every night

Maybe the world would love me
If I lost 50 pounds,

Maybe I would love me
If I lost 50 pounds.

And maybe,
Just maybe,
I could breathe,
If I got all this weight off of me.
252 · Mar 2014
We Die Many A Time
LS Mar 2014
They say you die once but 
Death is a greedy thing
That steals living parts of you 
And keeps them until you 
Pay him with your beating heart.

The first thing death takes
Is innocence. 
It takes it however,
Slowly or suddenly,
Letting ignorance 
And naive thoughts go with it.
Death drinks it up,
Laughing at this 
Young and ignorant taste left
In his sour mouth.

The next is youth, 
He takes it until 
You are full of wrinkles
And you can't hear
Or see properly
And he drinks it up
And laughs at your 
Blind and deaf features
As you stumble around,
Waiting for somebody to lean on.

Next is beauty,
He lets you hold it in your hands
Until he slips it from your 
Fingers 
And into his cup, 
Drinking the conceited thoughts 
And ***** lips.

Death takes love,
And leaves a bitterness 
In our hearts.
He takes hope,
And leaves an emptiness 
In our heads.

Then you die, and all you have left to give him is your ****** heart
And memories
And he his happy,
All because death hates
Sudden heart deaths,
But he likes to wait until we are old
And full of regret.
We die many times.
251 · Jun 2015
Untitled
LS Jun 2015
I don't want

to be
           wild and free


                                I want someone to actually care
249 · Oct 2014
MINE
LS Oct 2014
When I see Mykayla with her arms around HER
I snarl in my head 'MINE'
When SHE laughs and kisses Mykayla's cheek
I snarl in my head 'MINE'
When I see them kissing
The tears on my cheeks are crying 'MINE'
That arm is supposed to be around me
I'm the one that's supposed to kiss her cheek
I'm the one that Mykayla's supposed to kiss
I'm the one, ******.
She's MINE.
LS Aug 2019
You’re all sharp teeth and jagged edges
Every time we touch it’s electric
Slowly taking bites from my hips to my lungs.
Break my ribs open
There’s my heart next to my shattered sternum
When you pull away my breathing is ragged
Lick the blood off your bottom lip.
Smile.
Kiss me with it.
247 · Feb 2014
I'm the One
LS Feb 2014
I feel my lonliness curl
Comfortably into my heart
Im the only one
Who wants to kiss my scars
Who wants to whisper
"you're beautiful" to me
I'm the only one
Who holds me at night
And I'm the only one
Who dries my tears away
I'm the one
Who entertains myself
With what ifs
And unforgivable cowardice
Of being turned down, and
Of being turned away.
I am my own lover.
And I will fall asleep with
My arms around me tonight.
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