My mother told me I was no good.
Never enough, not pretty enough,
Not servile enough.
I knew I was the number two.
I knew that her love for me was not the same as my sister.
She told me it, and she showed me it.
I gave her all my love,
But she treated me like absolutely nothing.
Incessantly, and that's fine.
I'm glad she's dead.

It ***** being second string,
Mocked and belittled for having deep feelings.
Openly betrayed and wickedly abused psychologically.
Over and over and over again.

I don't know what's good for me,
I don't know where I belong,
But it is undeniable,
That when I woke up in the early morning hours,
And saw your face, I felt a warm feeling I haven't felt in so long.
I can't account for the whereabouts of my better judgement.
But I can say for certain I want you in my life,
And I will meet you where I can, and share what I can,
Because, even though I am selfish, you accept this,
Others hurt me with my own faults,
You embraced them, and came back into my life,
When I wasn't sure what to blame,
For that lead tarp feeling around my heart.
I need comfort and freedom,
But I absolutely need you
In my life...
I'm just coherent enough,
To put the water on in the morning,
I wish I could take the easy bets,
And flip my cards with no regrets,
But I would see you again,
And it would tear me down...
I've been torn down so long,
I want to build something,
That won't crumble
Like a house of cards,
I have such mixed feelings,
I know I can be happy either way,
I win some cash,
And buy some champagne,
Flash a smile, and the night is accounted for,
I just don't want to be the origin of more love tragedies,
I break everything but even.
Just tell me true,
If we can do this, without jealousy
Sharpening the knives, and angry voices condemning.
I want what you want, and what she wants.
But can any of this be worked out,
I know the odds of every hand,
But this kind of math eludes me.
I need a long walk off a short pier,
A cold beer, and some wind in my hair.
I need what I had, that night long ago,
When you popped in
And shared words,
I'm so sorry I disrespected you,
But you know how I am,
I am a steel roller of emotions.
I pave the way towards smooth love,
Or flattened passion.
Just understand
I need you to stay.

I don't understand why
You can't see
I am
Not worth the titanic effort
You put forth each day
Just to bring me some happiness.
Your eyes must be faulty,
Or you must be touched in the head.
The few things I do for you,
Are nothing compared to all you do for me.
I'm selfish, petty, and cruel.
Either you can't see
Or you see and don't care...
Either way...
Thank you.

It's pretty clear
You want to jump ship,
Sick of my ****,
Your flirting in front of my eyes,
And that's fine,
I know I've never been enough,
For you, for my mother,
For anyone.
So go ahead,
And jump ship.
Swim with the fish.
That you know you love more than me.
Just don't expect me to throw you a life preserver
When the tide drags you down,
I hope you can breath under water like her.
I hope you ******* drown.

I see the impression of your lips
On faces all over town.
From here to Carson city.
You touch whatever you want,
Whether its for you, or not.
You call me a ****.
Well then we are made for each other.

I want a man
who can do
the impossible...

Like folding fitted sheets.