an early suicide nose and a broken cradle
don't let go of his hand
please don't
you've got no idea of how fragile he is

please don't raise your voice
the night is scary and the monsters in his head are out

heart hammering heavy and sweaty palms

why can't you stay on your own
why can't we leave you alone
why are you crying

you've seen it all before

the hopelessness of an unadopted child getting too old
people passing and leaving

you'll end up like you began
utterly alone in your shell

head pounding and tears blurring

you'd rather feel empty than feel too much

bittersweet orange juice and forgotten band aids

why are you letting go
he's crying for you to come back

like falling from a bike over and over again
ears ringing like a wasp nest

the dark is uninviting and frightening

they'll crawl to your brain and you can't hold them back

nobody believes you
nobody believes in you

it's your fault
when will you grow up

no one will pick you up and carry you to bed
no one will kiss you good night on the forehead

so get yourself together and be a man
you probably won't ever be his son
they'd be right to leave you behind

stop wondering why
nobody wants that child that you are

dry your tears and puff your chest

knock some sense to your head stand up for yourself

salty cheeks and soups burning your tongue

falling into open arms won't hold you tight

there's no soft hand to grip onto

you're left alone and it's spooky

left and right and no familiar faces

hungry and wailing like a wounded beast

what are you gonna do about it

nobody will be sorry for your pretty face

you know nothing lasts forever
and they pushed you into that big void

you fell to the cold ground
with the poisonous walls and spike corners

wondering where's your bedroom door

shut and locked forever

a ***** stain made by two large coffees

is it an empty hole

or a heavy weight tugging at your guts?

the worst version of yourself

you've been digging your own grave for years

holding the shovel without realising it

firmly and tighter every time

how could you complain about something you caused on your own?

i don't wanna go home

i can't go home

but mother?

yes son?

pray for me

because some things can't be scrapped off or washed away

living off coffees and strawberries

late mornings and early kisses

first time discoveries in shared showers

blended days and sleepless nights

albums about hotels on the moon and fluorescent adolescents

walking in those never-ending dunes

they don't look as scary when you watch me from behind

empty streets and busy parks

carousels from yesteryear

bang bang

old loud bells and new guitar strings

ladders reaching the skies

ladybug tanning on a tanned shoulder

careful with the sand in your shoe and the melting ice cream

blueberry tongues under the spring sun

a traffic jam on the highway

disco lounge lizard singing

forbidden belly buttons piercings and an emptied pool

love bite marks in a bubble bath

christian and gloria kissing on a burning car

beautifully spoken and spotted in concert crowds

said you were the first of your kind

divine intervention

diamonds trips forever and ever

hands in hair and love-making

breathlessly lost in your verdant gaze

irish accents in the departure lounge

the world stopped spinning since you've got it all in your hands

doesn't it make perfect sense?

oh white cliffs of dover

tell me what have you seen

where did they vanish

it doesn't ring true

ring true ring true

magical mystical boy

it doesn't ring through

ring through ring through

and you were just here standing next to me

oh white cliffs of dover

can i roll in your clovers?

oh white cliffs of dover

tell me where do they all go and if it is forever

tell me oh white cliffs of dover

can we step on your clovers?

over and over.