I try and leave you messages
I try and be discreet
I try to be coy and cunning
But it’s not me you seek

I laugh at all your jokes
I’m the one who’s always there
I’m the one who loves you
Don’t you see why I care?

I try to make you notice
I try to show the truth
I try to give you hints
But you’re not Holmes, you sleuth.

You’re as obtuse as an angle
You’re as bright as a rock
But today you noticed me
I guess you’re smarter than I thought.

Shed your outer layer
Unravel your guise
Take off your mask
Let me see inside

You are a question mark
Your body a false pretense
You answer with questions
You attack with defence

Eyes are windows of the soul
But yours mirror mystery
Just give me something
I'm not asking for your history

Please let me in
I will be there for you
Let me show you warmth
I will always come through

Keep your mask
And keep your guise
But turn those mirrors to windows
And let me inside

hey! you with the face! look over here!




alright, now that I have your attention.




Carry on.

When you find yourself drowning in self-hate, you have to remind yourself that you weren’t born feeling this way. That at some point in your journey, some person or experience sent you the message that there was something wrong with who you are, and you internalized those messages and took them on as your truth. But that hate isn’t yours to carry, and those judgments aren’t about you. And in the same way that you learned to think badly of yourself, you can learn to think new, self-loving and accepting thoughts. You can learn to challenge those beliefs, take away their power, and reclaim your own. It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen over night. But it is possible. And it starts when you decide that there has to be more to life than this pain you feel. It starts when you decide that you deserve to discover it

I am disconnected, a broken circuit....
With no light behind my eyes.
This apathy has made me certain,
Of where our untrodden path now lies.

Once normal glances, turned suspicious
Gazes avoided, emotions slide.
Attacks of isolation, vicious;
I search for an abstract place to hide.

But these fleeing feet, they find no refuge
For my shield is now what shuts me out,
I do my best to try to reach you
But I cannot breach your wall of doubt.

My hands ***** for a course of action
But I cannot see the steps to take,
As every word is weighed with reaction
This path outlined with my mistake.

Blood cannot purchase my atonement,
Otherwise, I would be bled dry.
For Mercy seems to be absent
Or indifferent to my cry.

Feeling incredibly alone again,

Even amidst all these people

That surround me, on the daily.

Lost inside myself, unable

To make simple connections;

Feeling alienated when I try

To escape this head of mine

Yet the world seems strange

Beyond my own thought clouds,

Outside of myself. A stranger

In my own skin. How do I

Even begin to feel that

The natural world around me,

Is truly a place I can be and

Living by myself in my own

Imagination, is not a safe

Place to sleep? Will I ever

Figure it out? How to be

At home, be at peace

With all these people

That surround me?

Questions swirling in

My brain, trying to make

Sense of this nest I created,

My supposed happy place.

Yet, I find it hard to believe

That I can be happy there,

Inside this shell. I just want

To feel normal in all that

Is tangible, instead of lost,

Alienated and alone.