" I've been busy"
sleeping,drinking,smoking
its a routine
thats implanted into my blood
everyday is beautiful,
but everyday I'm dead
walking  through everyones eyes
no one sees me
no one knows me
but every one hates me

her touch
that i know so well
brings me to life
with her smile
that rhymes her clear eyes
her clear eyes
her blue eyes
oh i know what makes me move on

his voice i know so well
his laughter that makes me cry
a friend who's become my brother
reminds me of my father
when i see him looking out the trains window
with sadness lingering down  his eyes
oh i know  what makes me move on

with every one laughing behind  there emotions
i lay there staring
with smoke in my eyes
oh I've gone blind
and no one yells
out for me
I'm falling through
my beds mattress
searching for comfort i cannot find

oh you know what i feel
but you still have the guts
to cut me up
you know what i say
but you still have the nerve
to take what i say away from me

no more please
let me melt
let me die
through your skin
cause your the only one
that makes me warm
forever

You think your parents are invincible
Your father your knight and shining armor
Your mother an untouchable saint
Providing, protecting, and loving you all unconditionally

But one chest pain brings a surreal reality
And you watch your fragile father lie on the hospital bed, crying
And you see your mother fighting back tears, trying to be the strong one
Your invincible parents now crumbling in front of you


Shaken and terror stricken, tears flood your eyes
You don't ever think your dad, the one who wiped your tears when you had a bad break up
Could be so fragile
He is supposed to be the big tough guy who is invincible

Not the one to get a heart attack at fourty three
Lucky, they said, your dad is lucky he survived.

I write and I write
Yes that's what I do
It helps to keep me from thinking of you
As much as I write
Of love and despair
It doesn't ease the pain
You still don't seem to care
I'll keep writing
Until I die
It doesn't mean that I won't cry
Cry for you
Cry for me
Cry for what I want it to be
I'll just keep wiping the tears away
Maybe life will be better today

It's a scary thing to know
That you're goin nowhere in life
And you will end up
As a burnout
A fat piggy *****
Laying on the side of the street
Because you were too in love
To notice happiness.

His name was Graison but nobody knew him he lived in a jail cell or maybe it was prison he used to hide under his bed at the age of six trying to hide from the monsters in his head they said that time was the cure but he found something better the sour the taste the deeper the crave cas substance seemed to numb the pain but he turned into a beast with every sip with every hit he got into fights became his biggest bully he could never admit that he was sorry and he wanted to hate God but that was all he had left besides a bottle and a pipe and now he's got a lifetime sentence living with him and his lies he prayed each drink would be his last he was tired of insanity but he knew he could never change one day soon his body would be swarming with flies he silently screamed out but nobody ever heard his cries I only ever saw him in the mirror that was locked in a closet behind his fear

We are critical.

We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.

2. We are never satisfied.

We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.

3. We never forget.

We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.

4. We are fickle.**

Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.

5. We are exposed.

We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.

6. We are vulnerable.

We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.

7. We will never stop.

We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.


We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.