my name was just letters until you said it, soft, certain, like it belonged to someone worth holding. you gave it weight, a kind of beauty i never saw alone, until you spoke it, and it became yours.
i hurt people who love me, i lie to stay afloat. i say i’m fine when i’m folding in on myself. i miss him, even when i shouldn’t. i want too much. i disappear. i think i’m a bad person. maybe i am. maybe i’m not. either way, i can’t seem to stop.
i told them i was tired. they said “get some sleep.” but i didn’t mean tired like that. i meant tired like i don’t want to be alive. but no one heard me.