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To love and to be in love are very different.
Just like to be loved and to be valued. Learn the difference.
 Jun 2015 LittleFreeBird
Gwen
Some days I long to be held,
and others the thought of someone even shaking my hand makes me cringe
I still can feel hands on my throat
and the touch of an unwanted, wandering hand.

Years have gone by,
Yet the ghostly haunting of your lips on mine will not fade.
But hell, I "wanted it anyway"
I wonder how in the hell you looked into my sobbing eyes,
and decided that turned you on.

But it was my fault for wearing shorts instead of pants,
despite the 93 degree mid-July heat.

After you were done
You held me and asked for me to call you back.
You left me crying by the road side,
With my hair in knots and dirt on my new white shirt
Hours passed as I tried to walk yet couldn't because my whole body felt numb,

My best friend laughed, "nice hickies on your neck"
I cringed inside and had to lie,
hoping no one would ever know those hickies where the bruises you left when I tried to scream.
I don't know if this will stay up.
TRIGGER WARNING*

They met at a dance recital.

His eerie blue eyes watched her, stalked her,
riveted by sinewy skin and the way her legs stretched and parted
skillfully, seductively: she knew how to captivate her audience.

They had mutual friends.

Her curiosity thirsted for more, for she had been taken
over by an empty lust, broken by another, but the way he spoke:
she felt as pretty as his charms sounded.

They went on a date.

He kissed her, pinched her, and spread those legs
that comprised his fantasies, not caring about the bruises he left
when he took off her lacey coverings, pinning her to the floor.

They learned more about each other.

She saw the empty, carnal look in his eyes, but her pleas
and shoves were not enough to lessen the weight of him, to push
his hands or his hips away, as he broke her over and over again.

They ended the night with a kiss.

He grabbed her face like a starving man grabs his first meal,
forcing an intimacy she could never get back, but he said,
“You liked it, didn’t you.”

They kept in touch.

She tried blocking his calls, his messages, asking her if she’d
come over to his place. Like the continuous force he prodded her with,
the pounding in her head beat out a thumping heart-line of no’s.
 Jun 2015 LittleFreeBird
Gwen
I have lung made of paper bags
                                                            ­                      and a spine made of glass.
I spend my life walking on thin ice,
                                                            ­                 knowing that if I slip I will break.
I can't walk with great posture,
                                                        ­                because the weight on my shoulders.
My mind is full of cliche metaphors
                                                       ­                 and clouded with the stress of living.
The more I panic and my breathing increases,
                                                   the­ more my paper bags start to strain and crinkle.
The more I walk around with the weight I try to carry,
                                                          ­       the risk of shattering my glass spine rises.
My eyes are closed,
                                                 and my hands are ***** from trying to dig myself up.
To stop my lungs from straining,
                                                                    I stop myself from breathing.
To lessen the risk of my spine breaking,
                                                               I lay in bed and never move around.
I think I give up on writing. oh well.
You see,
I am an artist

I draw with silver
But it comes out red
I relapsed. 0 days clean....
 Jun 2015 LittleFreeBird
Sjr1000
When your mind is shattered
Your eyes are blinded
There is pain everywhere
you go
Don't give up and
Don't give in

When the wheel of fortune
is stuck at 6
No hope remains
Don't give up
Don't give in
Noon will be coming around
again

When loneliness is
your only friend
and
it keeps calling you names
Don't give up
and
Don't give in

There are times
when life is
ablaze with horrors
but
Don't give up
and Don't give in

Those that survive
are those that find meaning
those that passively
take to their bed
are bound
to
perish
Don't give up
Don't give in

When the law's
got your name
and no payment can be
made
and
you have to go
along with their plans
that have been laid,
Inside, where you hide
Don't give up and
Don't give in.

Time only stops
once
Don't give up
Don't give in.
Our lives are just like books
Filled with numerous chapters
We may not like what’s inside
But turning the page and
Continuing the story
Is the only way to move on
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