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 Aug 2015 LittleFreeBird
Diane
I was unprepared for your lack of self-awareness
and the way you approach life like a
kid running the wrong way with the ball.
Sometimes I feel like your mother
sending you to your room so you can tantrum.
Other times I feel like your daughter
when you lay out my shoes as if I can’t get them myself.
Talking to you is throwing rocks at a land mine;
There is a difference between creativity and indecision.
There is a difference between sensitivity and overreacting.
You have to find who you are, and stop lifting so many lids.
Your anxious energy is clinging to my calm like a parasite
Eventually, you need to find a calm of your own
take your spinning outside inward, where things are still.
I want to help you
and I want to escape,
because rarely do I feel like your lover
partly because I don’t want to anymore.
I don’t want your touch, I don’t want your kiss
your hands are vexatious, please just let me sleep!
I don’t want to gag and choke on your tongue.
Just rest for a while,
so I can figure out how to do this.
I was always your daughter.
You weren't always my father.
Me and my mom
I'm feeling nervous
A little bit shaky, little bit trembling
Eye to eye
In the longest stroll of my life

My excuses are my only weapon
Against the strongest wall of madness
My positive thoughts
They are my only shield in this war of heart and mind

Please stop hurting me
I whisper, trying to escape while wide awake
Trying thoughts real for reality sake
I cried

Somehow would you please assure me
That this night mare will be gone
Because I fear that  my positive feelings
Wo'nt even return to my heart.
Dear Mom, hear me please...
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