I've been trying to figure out how to get it back,
But I haven't seen you in months.
Have you found it sitting there?
I wonder if you threw it out along with fast food bags and stray receipts,
Or if maybe you repurposed it and hung it over your rearview instead.

It seems like the memory of you multiplies when I finally think it's gone.
I shared the things I love with you,
The things that are pieces of who I am.
I wish I hadn't let you into so many parts of my life,
Because I haven't stopped trying to get rid of you
And you've been creeping up from tiny cracks and crevices to spite me.
It doesn't matter what I do, what I use, what I say.
You keep blooming out of nowhere.

I promise not to press you between my pages,
You're beautiful because you're so alive.

Sorry for the nightmares
And the crying when the sky is dark
Maybe you know more than you should
Understand more than you ought to
Even when the tears come
Loneliness won't come before you

Narcolepsy* hard and heavy watch me fall asleep
            Lulled to bed in a cunning thread of the tangled web we weave
    I dream in pristine colors, windows of my mind anew
No fingerprints or ***** looks or evidence of you

         I find comfort in forever wherever it may be
        I may have left my home but it will always stay with me
                 The smell of all the smoke with the sound of all the rain
   On constant playback every second deep within my brain

        I found that time is all that matters and everything else faded
        I spent years and years learning how to forget everything I hated
    I've only gotten older and have nothing left to show
              Except a ringing alarm clock and blood on my pillow

     Narcolepsy** hard and heavy watch me as I sleep
     Another pill, another high, another date to keep
      If I shall die before I wake, I hope that I'm with you
    Then it won't matter where I go, cause you will see me through