Not a ghost
Nor a broken heart

It just..

The look in your eyes
Everytime I tried to talk.
That curious expression,
Each movement of your brows,
and the changing smile of yours

I am dying a little bit inside
Wondering about the thoughts inside your head
Will you understand about it
Will you.. will you...

I hate the sudden change in your eyes
The slow movement in each of your blinks
That sudden movement of your chin
And each deep breathe you take in front of me

Making me hate myself
and I already am
hating myself without knowing
blaming me for the mistake I don’t even made

.
.
.

That 30 seconds expression of yours
breaking me apart

</3

Hello,
it's been such a long time
all i wanna say is just

i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i still do love you

too
much
:")

Meeting someone in life
is something
that's actually astonishing.

That's because
he brings himself
with his past,
his present,
and his future.

That's because
someone's whole life
comes along.

The heart is fragile.
Therefore, it might have been broken.

That heart
is coming too.

this is what i don't like
i open up to you
and you just let me hangin'
waited for you to make the first move
but you let me down

this is what i don't want
i don't wanna fall for you
but i do

this is what i don't want
to fall in love with you
so easy
like this

maybe i'm the fools
the more i don't want you
the more i crave for you

this is what i don't want
to see you with someone else
this is exactly what i don't want

but i do want you

i want love to hold my hands
give me a another chance
to feel the love for once
and forever

i might be wrong
i might be misheard
i might be end up alone
but i always believe in love

i always thought
all the things i do
might bring you back
near to me once again

but i was wrong
i really wrong
i am the one who push you
away from me
away from love

when it supposed to be me
who receive the love you had
i regret all the things i did
because of myself i am alone

:'(

this is my heart problems
my anxiety
and madness
insecurities kicks in

it just like
i don't belong
and never belong
to anyone or any other else

maybe what they say is true
people hate ugly person
i am ugly
i feel ugly
and they hate me

for once i just want to feel loved
i want to feel like i am wanted
i want to feel like me myself is enough
maybe i just want to be loved

i always make them happy around me
but then they will forget
they don't want to be with me
i know i am ugly
thank you
for making me realise
more and more

to think of you
when i know you're not
i want love
the way i see love
the way i feel love
and the way it makes me feel
but you want somebody else
not the love i want

because of you
i believe in karma
it makes me afraid
to get to know you
to crave for me

but in the end
it's always only me
the one who need love
from the way you need love
like a bad karma

i used to push away
all the love that god gave
thought like i was worthy
setting a high standard
when all u need is just love

and now i think
i just need to be grateful
for all the people
who used to love me
before and now

cause i will never
never ever be
worth saving
:")