If I could be around you
Just for one day
If I could spend a whole 24 hours
With everything going my way
I'd spend it touching you
I'd spend it loving you
I'd spend it kissing you
I'd spend it talking to you
I'd spend it getting to know every thought in your head
I'd spend it getting to know every beautiful curve that makes up your body
I'd spend it showing you how much I adore you
Even though I don't even know you
I know your face
It puts me in a daze
The tiny details I have of you
Are the little treasure pieces I hold dear and near to my heart
I'm dreaming of the day we get to meet
I'm pondering about the 24 hours I will spend making endless love to you
That's what I would do
If I had a whole day

Inamorata -- daughter of the moon,
So ashen faced, your lips turned violet;
Asleep yet not asleep upon a stone
Of marble, beautiful as when we met
One fated night upon a sandy shore,
With moonlit tides cascading o'er our feet;
The flowing lily white dress that you wore
Now serves to shroud your icy form, my sweet --
Wouldst thou condemn me breathless as thou art,
Or worse, to mourn a lifetime e'er in grief
Till summers end and winters chill my heart
And death unsheathes his scythe to bring relief?
Oh love, my love -- what choice thou givest me --
Behold my love, I come -- I come to thee

A lonesome voice began a mournful air,
As bowing low, it moved amongst the trees;
Its booming tones exuding sad despair,
Disseminating, on a wistful breeze --
A soft sweet voice came drifting down from high,
As bowing swift, it moved with fluent grace;
Its ringing song effusing endless joy,
As two lost voices shared a first embrace --
Their unity, a ringing pack of bells,
And canon drawn midst Ursa's watchful gaze;
Their song a tune that nothing ever quells,
Its tempo strong until their end of days;
        Oft’ times, the canon booms, the bells will ring,
        As two more lonely voices learn to sing

Never have I been the best at hiding how I feel.  There is no peaceful game.  My face reveals the truth.  Never to be doubted.  Nothing left to wonder.  Still, I reign it in.  I stifle my reality in an attempt to keep you close.  So tender-hearted beneath that thickening shell.  The shell I penetrated somehow.  Once you found me in your heart, you pushed with all your might.  Trying to get me out.  I cannot be budged. Yet, I am not free to love you.  You refuse to let me be yours in theory or practice.  You love me, but not by choice.  Fear of the possibility of pain keeps you at bay.  Yet saving yourself from pain has deemed my own inconsequential.  For running from me pulls out my heart.  

Pushing me away
What's best, or just what's easy
Burns holes in my soul

Not one to take the easy way out.  Suffering to love you.  There is no expectation of love requited.  There is nothing but a dream, part memory part wishful thinking.  Hot needles still poke at me, slowly breaking me down.  Weakening my very being with the sharp jabs of stinging words or careless action, or worse...absolute inaction.  I have learned to stop expecting the "Morning Sunshine" or "'Night Darlin'" that used to brighten each day.  Those thoughtless things, the tiny nothing things that let me know I was on your mind.  So far from nothing those nothings were.  Days and nights seem incomplete in their absence.  Weaning to make your days bearable makes mine unendurable, empty, and melancholy has come to underlie all things.  

Joy of love melts ice
Heat smothered by a tear cloud
Threadbare soul survives

Challenges faced sideways leave blind spots. Choices made by indecision.  Letting mistakes be made, watching as they choose wrong. I see the truth and know what I know.  Everything is aligned for my own misfortune.  For as a bystander, I lay no claims.  Anything I do will hasten the inevitable.  So I let the weaning drip down to nothing.  Reluctantly I watch as you disappear with my heart in hand.  I stood firm as you ran away in place.  You turned to me, you needed me, you loved me.  As the clouds dissipate and the sun creeps over the horizon, With the blue sky I turn to mist. Slowly fading to the past.  A ghost of could've been, used to be, and never was

**Surrender takes time
                        Reluctantly relinquished
                                               I will fight no more

Between today and tomorrow lives a lifetime
Between today and yesterday seems untrue
Yet, here, in this moment, lies perfection
A glance feels an eternity
Doubt is squelched by honest emotion
And reality breathes in time with our hearts

I was six:

On the steps
Of the small
Carousel

Stood the old,
Greying haired
And mustached

Man in a
Ratty suit
Smiling and

Anxiously
Peering out,
Waited for

Me.

"He is your
Father, say
Hello please"

"Hello" I'd
Said to the
Stranger who'd

Introduced
As father
Yet I hadn't

Met or seen
Before or
After and

That's where it
Ends.
The one,
The only,
Memory
Of him.

Good riddance
I suppose.