I have some very destructive tendencies
I'm a bad judge of character
Whether the the character is my own or not
Begs to be determined.

I tried the pretty, pleasant method
Of letting the venom from my veins
But these emotions have succeeded in their task
Of rotting me from the inside out.

The floor embraced my pen
And my ears were lovingly teased
I tried to fall into the high from my headset
But your passion did not sate me.

Elemental damage was never my strong suit
As prone as we are to wildfires
You'd think the liquid cauterizing me
Would hurt less than these ******* thoughts.

And tonight the truth made its way to me
My shadow understands; his love is pure
I'm a cruel, witless *****, a scourge in my own right
But he still dries my tears.

I can't even pretend I'm not hurt
So I'm voiding my lungs tonight
Peppered smoke promises relief
But I'm soon discerning the lie.

We are back to square one but
All the pop music these days is too melancholy
I've had altitude sickness before,
But this time it's different.

And I smile,
a painful thing that I'm glad there's no evidence of
I told you these things are rare, like you
This inspiration at the cost of my heart

But this is my salvation
When you move from prose to poetry
That's when I'm done with you.
My habits die hard
But unlike you, the feelings, the talent,
the slow agonizing death by fire,
the bad character
are all mine.

Morning came to us
As it usually does,
Crickets chirping
From her Apple,
Me, sighing,
Throwing off the covers,
Stumbling toward the stairs
To hit the can,
Groaning first few steps.

I stopped and said,
"I noticed every morning now,
I always have these aches and pains."

And she replied, sounding sane,
"I never have eggs and bacon!"

Mystified, I told her she made no sense.

"What do you think I said?" she asked.

"You never have eggs and bacon?" I replied.

"You're going deaf!
I said aches and pains!"

And so it goes.
Round and round and round,
Where it stops, God only knows....

You,
who used to touch me where I didn't want you to, reaching inside me, where I'd *never let anyone before, I was only eleven, I shouldn't of been treated like a *****...
   I hate you

You,
who took advantage of me, when I was just thirteen, taking what innocence and trust that I had left, breaking my spirit down to an empty shell...
   I hope you rot in H£LL

You,
who just watched what they did to me, judging me, saying it's my fault for dressing slutty. I was only fourteen...
I hope I'm never like you

You,
who made me believe I was not a used rag doll, gave me trust and hope, only to reach my sixteen year old core, then ripping it all to shreds like never before...
I'll never forgive you

You,
who said you loved me, made me think it was the real thing, helped me forget the past, at only eighteen, you gave me my wings and hope that it would last, then when you realized I just wasn't enough, you went and found some different lust, at twenty-five, you decided you wanted a new life,  but our kids mean the world to me, so I can't regret you, but I can erase your memory...
I hope she cheats on you

You,
who finally made me think I'd found the real thing, then broke me down, then picked me up just to throw me down again, over and over, then used the fragile remaining shards of my heart to cut out my soul and leave me falling apart...
I wish you nothing but pain and despair

You,
who I laugh and joke with now, who I wish to know more, who makes me scared I'll end up with a broken heart like before, who seems to truly care...
Please, don't forget how fragile I am
        
You,
who I may or may not have met yet, don't hurt me, don't make me regret. I won't be able to handle losing another, I wanna be happy with you, I wanna know forever...
**I hope you'll love me too