My Heart was Open
My Eyes were Closed

Your Heart stayed Closed
Your Eyes stayed Open

Ugly- The definition of a girl, is given by the guys who broke her heart and the girls she used to look up to.

Useless- The feeling of never being good enough because you cant even make your parents happy. Not worth anyones time.

Stupid- Not getting perfect grades at a honor school and being made fun of by those who you thought loved you.

Depressed- The feeling you get when no one understands that your crying on your knees everynight asking god to help you to make you feel like you are worth something then being kicked while your crying by your best friend. Giving up on everyone and everything.

Scared- That gut feeling you always have because everyone you love always leaves so what makes Dylan any different? When I am the same girl I was when everyone else left?

Unwanted- The feeling an adopted kid like myself, when not even her brother wants to be a part of her life. When your parents didn't want you only 2 weeks after birth..?

So someone, ANYONE, tell me why I should continue on with my life acting like everything is perfect and okay when honestly IT IS NOT OKAY!!! NOTHING IS OKAY! I am sorry that I was never perfect and never good.. I tried.. I really did and maybe one day y’all might, just might realize that I was breaking, slowly breaking, painfully trying to make everyone happy when I was the one suffering most.. I just wish I would've noticed this when I was younger and didn't waste so much of my life trying to figure out where I went wrong when that was never the issue. The issue was that I couldn't accept that I couldn't be perfect, I never would be, and that I cant change something I have no control over.. Maybe if I realized that earlier my life would've been just a bit happier, maybe not.. But my mom once told me that everything happens for a reason and she was right…

I think first, but lately it seems now a days that's my stupid curse
Because it separates the good from the worst
It makes me feel like could it get any worst?
Maybe so
But this liquor is a good start
They say a drunken mind speaks an honest heart
I've been up all night sick like a dog
You was in my dream last night and still never called.
That's ironic
Waiter, let me get another gin and tonic
That make me feel superhuman with a hint of bionic
But she my one and only kryptonite
That kinda drug that keeps the eyes open throughout out the night...
Why can't you let me sleep?
This a dark angel that forever reaps
Who sticks her lethal nails in you 6 inches deep
(Like a burial)
Which means she killing me slowly
Funny how you hate but barely know me...
I think you owe me.
More than just this new found imagination.
More than all the bullsh!t that you've created...
More than the time I've lost that you have wasted
Maybe I should've embraced it?
Disaster was in the menu and I just had to taste it.
"Get out my life, take a hike"
I just hope you make it.

Even if you were broke, Id pay for you,
If you needed protection, I would fight and slay for you
If you were alone, I would lay and stay with you. Nowadays I just look up to the sky, shut my eyes...wish, hope and pray for you.

Because you need it.

And even when you thought nobody understands you,
Somebody understood

And even when you thought nobody sees your struggles,
Somebody saw

And even when you thought you don't deserve love,
Somebody loved

Break my heart again
this time I dare you,
Shatter my mind and soul
This time I'll be over you.

Speeding down paths I never knew existed.
My troubled mind and troubled heart always had you for company. I could have died in your arms. I was at home finally when I was close enough to your heart that I could hear its beats.

It seems odd now that I have to stay away. That your arms are a shield around the very heart I helped mend, which was as much yours as mine. That I never took back my heart from your *****, where it will always stay.

And though I may become bitter, or I may try and erase you from my head, you will always be there. Like a meteorite on earth, you hit me at full speed, right down to my core. I was changed in ways I couldn't have imagined possible.

I'm homesick now. I try find you in other people. I try building new homes. But I buried my heart near yours and that is where it will always stay. I could have died in your arms. I was at home. Finally.

Four hours of sleep,
Laughter and tears,
Philosophy with hidden fears,
And shaky hands
From too many coffee sips;
How else do I describe your
Invincible aura?

Are there really any words
To explain the floral imprint
That springs to life
With every thought of you
In my muddied mind?

Am I worthy of that otherworldly smile;
The one that lingers on your full lips
For longer than it takes to glimpse possibility,
Just so you can see its results
In the eyes of both friends and enemies?

I swear there is mercury
In your glossy eyes-
And I think I’ve reworded it a thousand times,
But they will always be
A poisonous brilliance of dual deadliness
That my demons cannot help but admire.

And amidst all the beauty,
There is glorious ugliness
Which I cherish in these deteriorating hemispheres of mine-
I always did envy the soft pillows beneath your eyes,
And how even your blemishes looked to me like patches of light.

Every fleeting thought of you
Is a glowing orb of searing vitality-
Like lightning flashes of opportunity
And sometimes
The only sparks that keeps me crawling
Through this never-ending tunnel of suffering.
But most of all, it is more, much more
Than anyone could ever deserve.

To simply call you Human would be an understatement;
In your case, I believe,
Masterpiece is a fitting supplement.

There's more that meets the eyes
And this will never change
It's too complicated to explain why
The answer will never be the same
Just remember to hold us when we cry
And beware those moments we act insane
Sometimes a firm, warm place to land
Is the only thing to soothe our weary brain
Were difficult at best, impossible at worst
But true love is always on our mind first
Some women want the finer things in life
Some just want children and to be a good wife
Others need to be held and reassured constantly
Some just want to trust and receive honesty
No matter the woman, you'll never understand us all
But keep in mind... There's no greater feeling than the fall