The Gods hate me
Every time I think
I'm over it
I run in to you
You say nothing special
But my knees are weak
For an hour after
Wish you just went away
Can't do this anymore
The Gods hate me

The Gods hate me
The images start
Flowing in my mind
I know your scent
Better than I'd like to
And your silhouette
More vividly than I care to
The colors in your hair
And the shades in your eyes
And that cute crooked smile
The Gods hate me

By what standarts
Do you measure yourself?
Achievements
How many you've loved
How many loved you back
How many you've conquered
Or how many
You've rejected
How many you have
Indeed held hanging by a thread
All your conquests
And how popular you are
Your large entourage

All of that may be great
But in the end of the day
I will not be impressed at all.
Your enviornment
Does not interest me.
I want to know
But one thing:
How sincerely you've loved yourself
In the end of the day
I will only ask one thing of you:

*show me your heart

What if I got one day
To be someone else?
To walk another's shoes
On a different path?
What would I be?

Would I want to make
All the bad memories go away?
Surely they do not serve me?
Would I want to be unharmed?
A more delightful existance?
Perhaps all the bad things
Made me better than
I could've ever imagined.
Was it in a gentle way?
No, but it was turned
In to my advantage after all

Would I want to be rich?
The mere thought
Makes me giggle.
What can the world offer me
In materials and things
That would make me happier
Than what is in my heart?
Surely I come from a good family
You know, the kind
That got a little lost over time.
"You may never be rich,
But you'll always be intelligent"
Isn't that enough?

I'd like to think so.
Money doesn't tempt me
Nor does the loss of a fortune
Scare me.
Poverty made us inventive.
I've never felt bad about it anyway.

Would I want to be
The It-Girl?
Somewhat glamorous perhaps?
serious question
Not really...
What does she have
That I don't?
I may not be much
On the social ladder,
But I was never much
Of a social climber.
I speak to everyone the same way
Isn't that what we need?
Just plain reality of things?

I know!
If I got one day
To be someone else
I would be
The person I will be tomorrow.
That's who I want to be.

A whisper reaches my ears
please just relax
We are going to serve you

A blue Light
Within the depths of my heart
You've been here since I was 5
Holding me together
From tearing apart
From losing my mind
You are the frequency in my voice
That people have come to fear
The commander that
Bends armies to it's will
How many times have I heard
"It's your voice"

Alright sure, I scare you again
How, I won't understand for the life of me
I'm just calm
Just me
Just scary to you...

Age 25, standing before the mirror
What does it look like to see me
Introspection
Suddenly and for the first time
I see it for myself
Never noticed before
Even while perfectly calm...

My teacher's voice echoes through my mind

"You walk in like a thunderstorm!"

But now I see it
I scared myself
There's nothing to be done
It comes from inside
The blue Light
The Source Light
The warrior with the color of my eyes

you need to come to terms with yourself young lady
you look like a girl but that's not what people see
they see a solidier, nearly two meters tall
let it go, reincarnation is a teacher
You can be a girl and a master at the same time.
you make men have to be stronger
so they won't try to bend you to their will
you stepped up to protect yourself and it's time to step down

And so I looked to Guan Yin
The mother of all women
I smile from my heart
make me a girl
Not a woman
Not a warrior
a girl
The smile is returned
And I'm dressed in
Soft pink and flowers
*On the inside

In the deepest slumber
In the sweetest dream
I felt your warm presence
Your heartbeat on my back
Your arms around me
Your fingerprints all over me
Red tracks on your skin
From last night

One can only feel love
To the exact extent they
Have succeeded in loving themselves.
Not because others will not love us more
Than we love ourselves,
But because we will only
Precieve love to the exact extent,
We have succeded in loving ourselves.

The degree of our suffering depends mostly on our own responce to it - Guan Yin

why are you crying

If I hadn't suffered so much
Would I not have been happier now?
Would I not have been freer?
Would I now not be released of blaming you?

why did you suffer

Because they harmed me mother
They did me wrong
They took all that I gave
And turned in to soil

Is it your responsability?

It was my effort
My tireless effort
It was what I did out of love!
It was what I gave of myself!

And did you expect something in return?

No.
Maybe.
Yes.
Love.

why would they not love you? Do you have to serve others to win them over

I suppose that's really not
How it should be,
But mum how else will they
Ever love me for who I am?

are you not kind

I think I am

are you not sweet

Sure...

then why would they not love you?

To this I don't know
The right answer
Why do we love
Generally speaking?

*because it's within us. You can only love that within another if you find it within yourself. Love selflessly and you will be loved selflessly. Not because you will never meet those who try to abuse you but because you will stop needing them all together. Love yourself unconditionally and you will be loved unconditionally