In your love,
you make me vulnerable,
You make me who I am.

Short but deep it isn't that hard to reach,
neither it is easy to reach.

Don't want to be included nor excluded.
Just want to express without being concluded.

time to sleep,
says O sleeper of the night

but its beautiful and quiet
in the night,
says O dreamer in the day

I don't want to go to bed
when i can meet nightly silence
this doesn't happen in the day

I have fallen in love with night
and i want to stay with it
every possible time,
says O dreamer in the day

go to bed,
says O sleeper of the night

(it's too late to take back my confession)
how can i live in the day any longer...
*says O dreamer in the day

Because it's short and sweet
I am happy you can read

We are equation

In degrees we calculate

In many we equalise

But in many we fatal

So we divide to keep it balance

A little terror
Shock his best-friend

A little late
With words left unsaid

Speaking a little louder
Hoping you could hear

A little gesture
With prayers from sorrow heart

May this be a little better
Of a breath of new hope

And a little peace
To his family and friends

With a little more time
to take in and breathe...

Every school holiday
My brain would go on an unintended
Long vacation.

Took such a long vacation
That it was almost every bad ideas
To begin my holiday

For everyday my brain is not around
My heart will wander far away
And my passion will not be found

The bad ideas;
My eyes would shut itself
Believing still that we are living in our dreams
But in reality, we have been missing out for quite awhile.

Oh good lots,
Finally is raining flowers and plants.
Been waiting in a self-made water bed.
Waiting for the rain to shine.
Shine more beautifully than the sun.
To be as beautiful as the moon in the dark.
Comes only in the night.
Be as bold as the sun, be yourself, lighting bolt.

Take over, take over.
And come again another night.

There is one moon
On this earth
Which I look at
Most of my night

Since I was a little girl

It always seems so beautiful
And mysterious

Something to be discovered
Whenever I look at it

Always seems unreachable
Even when it came to stay so near

Close to my heart
As I reach out to discover
The darkness wrap me
And I lost sigh of where
The moon was last at

I stayed up every night
Looking at constellation of stars
But I see no moon

And it dishearten me
As it seems I have slipped away
S
    l
       o
          w
               l
                  y

Without meeting the moon
which I've seen since I was a girl

sadness are so close to me
like water on earth surrounding me

they comes and goes away
it troubles me and makes me drown
many times before i could SHOUT for help

there was no way i could escape
heavy high tide crashes me

treading water
gasping for air
gobbling water
and looking for lands

washes me further
                                   f u r t h e r


a w a y

from my sadness
into my madness  

falling deeper
couldn't rise up
eyes are already close
couldn't see
pressures and darkness pulling in

wishing to see another sun ray of light
shining down benethe here
if only i would open my eyes
to look up and know i might be fine
breathing underneath water

Repeat after me:

They found a quaint vacation spot.
They felt so much like something but of only a microscopic vision; through their idealist imagination it was so much of a grandeur encounter.

Feel too much but your presence still disappear. Troubled naked eyes; stop acting so curious. Stop being mysterious. The bloodshed love, your psychological fears. A close heuristic encounter.

Those loverlike they ran away.

Reading them
Over and over again

I wonder if you do the same

Going back to read the stories again
Visit the stories just to see if it change
Reading the sentences once and again

Reading them
Over and over again

This is a terrible romantic
and sadomasochistic narrative.

The artist's mind is clothed in fabrics.
Fashion is his vocabulary.

Grim-tales are often told with foreboding,
exacted further through sharp, perceiving lenses.

Collections of sharp silhouettes speak of
a masterful and sensitive touch.

A turbulence of emotions exploded in
delicate and mesmerising theatricals.

Taking delight in challenging popular notions,
Alexander left audience continually in a
lingering aftertaste of shock mixed with wonder.

If I don't do this— I will go no where.

It looks like a lonely walk
As the trees at the side walk
Slowly wither
Right when you walk passes it
One by one
They wither
And it never grew back
Even after months
Of rain and sunshine

Nothing happen to the trees
But a lonely man walking pass
It many times

She became quiet and unchanged for her mind was left in an attic.
She probably never thought she had kept it away from herself.
Misplaced and unused.

Routinely she reduced her daily tasks, as she sat and slept for the most of all time. For she have lost a change mind.

She is not ready to find.

I wake up
I look up
I flip to the side
refuse to get out of my blanket

I tug it tightly and put my hands under
tilt my head and fall back asleep

another day like this could go by

I wake up
I look up
wonder what has gone by
breathing in empty air
breathing in what was left

what is life
that past gone by
we hold such a vivid memories
that gone by

I wake up
I look up
look to my left and right
room filled with non living things

what a shame
life is empty
without any heartbeats

I wake up
I look up
the white blank celling
reminded me of nothing

*The words and the breath
of life, come breathe in me again

I don't think I am feeling well, right now
I am about to throw out words right now

I hate to part.
The only reason why I stay apart.

If you must; taking a piece of me.

We all leave words in people's ear.

Leave with the best of my words and leave it, the words that no longer speak in the present.

Frustrations and Fears

It makes me feebler

It crawls into my head
like army of ants
crawling on my veins

It makes me shiver

Frustrations and Fears

Screaming in my head
Crumpled thoughts all inside my head

Unfolding, unfolding it out again
Making it straight, straightening the thoughts

Frustrations and Fears

I'm letting it out, making it loud
Just to see if there's any illustration that could work out

Frustrations and Fears

As i see it collide
As they meet once again
Tremendous fire

Objectively you'll feel
Thru your body
Warmth up

It will burn out
Make it work out

And soon it makes me
Feel its burning passion

To the undying
Frustrations and Fears
Overflowing

*Frustrations and Fears
It breaks your bone
Tears your flesh
And makes you feel
Right where you are
Trying to gasps thin air
for feeling it deep

Something happened but it didn't happen.
Where did it happen?

Self love
Self care
Reminder
The topic all over again
A healing journey

2 weeks medical leaves
Taking time off to recalibrate

For your best interests
Articulate your experience
And emotions

you can be my fiction
be the character in my head

be with me
inside my head

i won't go out
outside my head

there's a few plots
inside my head,

we can be together
where no one else can be
we can be together as long i live

His mind ***** his own body.
He is disgusted with his thoughts and actions.

His mind ***** by the world.
He is disgusted with his perception of body.

He is a victim and a convict.

"I am ashamed. Shameful at the patterns of my worldly mind. "

Be a lovely flower
A flower than shines even in the pouring rain

Be a lovely flower
A flower that blooms and blossom
Into a beauty of pure heart

My heart is beating up
to something strange
Something I cannot explain

But the chemical is strong
Is beating in my heart

I wish to tell you
What it is
but its strange and the chemical is strong

You must be strong, intensified, like coffee.
When you pour coffee into your mouth, you become the coffee.
When the coffee goes to your brain, you increased the energy levels.
Coffee can be dark and brown, but it sure makes you happy.
Become like coffee my friend.

Pancakes and Maple Syrups
Sunshine and Light Blue Sky
White Clouds and Golden Hashbrown
A Round Sausage and Chilled Milo

Red, Chilli in my saucer
Red, they are in my eyes
Red, they are burning strong
Red, is my tongue and my taste bud
Loving it

Yellow is only when "you're loving it"

a story of the bed sheet
we shared
laid down on
as the wind flew passed us where the window
sits still beside the bed

what we had
only lasted on the bed sheet shared
it was washed and it never happen again

(im moving out, traveling out)
heading somewhere else
(somewhere not from where i am now)

somewhere
else where other beauty lies

somewhere
where new love can be found

somewhere
healthy like nature and air

somewhere
you can go and no one
can stop you from heading to

For a moment
It disperse
I thought
About something beautiful
That wouldn't last forever
I didn't even grasp it
And it be gone

How quick and suspended it felt

Too young and touching
Too old turn lusting

Too much for physical
Our brain has taught to function

Too much to see
What seems to be right it sees

But not the encourager
For too young and old
This is not the cycle

My thoughts are all scattered around like pages but in a book of torn hiatus pages profoundly thoughtless. Left on a bookshelf trifling and collecting dust.

Not a single idea of life left, contemplating.

life has no word
life has no God

life is far away
life doesn't seems like one

what is life

life is not how it looks right now

life is deeper
life is shallow

life is where he breathe his breath at you

Our sins are chained to hell
Latter we burn in flames
Back to earth with flammable bodies
Destructive;  we all agree to live by
Hell on earth and heaven in no ones' heart
Chains are caught with fire
The earth is blazing and burning
We are living!

I cried
But my face can't feel its tears

I screamed
But no one has heard its toll
Not even my ears

My mind is the greatest destruction
Leaving my body weak
My heart unable to feel what is conscious and clear

This happen when my soul tries to reach deeper into
The paradox mind

Its a strange experience
Every time when it happens

I was never told not to explore
But what else could stop me to this adventure

Where only strange things could happen
Only Human could answer and be the answer

It will disappear together with the strange hours
Passing

The sun and moon
are no coincidence
with such a fate

Day and night
They intertwine

In the world  
Of lost relation
It even seems

Broken is the link
For heart and mind
They intertwine

Day and night
A fate there is
The world with
No coincidence it is

Omnipresent

You want what you see
Hypnotised

We are not the center of our Universe.
You are not at the center of it all.
Jesus Christ should take center of it all.
He holds all things together.
He’s the true center of it all.

A lack of cultivation
a spell bound by surrounded cultured

where is the hunger for values
values they follow you after death on earth
keeping our body righteous

not society talks
not how worldly cycle go round
not taking any of this gibberish

it can still be helped
a longing for Lord surpassing holiness

rest your body and keep it
within your soul
nurture it and practice wholesome

surround your mind with
what you cannot see now
in what they cannot give here

keep your eyes close
because faith can give it to you

Baby steps
It’s not a game
It’s not a race
It’s a at your own pace
Kinda path
Relax and don’t overthink

you've found me
i've found you

you're slipping away
away from how i used to grow up

you're still here, further away
away from now i am used to

it's been hard, i don't see you
not in everywhere
where i used to

i want you, more than i can't see you
i want to find you, here and there
everywhere from where i am now

so where are you now?
*i know dearly you're still around

The day I turn my ways against you.
The day I fall short of my ambition.
On the day, cast me not away.
The day, my fellow sisters and brothers pray for me.
That ye may be able to stand strong in my weakness.
For only He can make me, me.

Our body won't keep us in for long.
Our body is rejecting us, but we refuse to feel it.

Our body is telling us something, something deep within our reach.
Our body is telling us to go, go within our needs.

But we refuse to feel it.
Our body is rotting, the days the wind blows the dusts of us go.

Our body is telling us something...

Deep within the self, not one can fulfil by self.

When he suffer from ****** temptation
When he suffer a great lost

When he suffer from all that he do not understand deeply
But for all that he felt deeply

When he suffer, he suffer in great tension
When he suffer, I hope he shut his eyes and mind and turn away
Turn away from ****** immorality

When he suffer I hope he find strength to receive a found strength
Believing it is forgiven and under controlled

Not by his own strength but by a given free choice

To Turn Away
Turn Away

Made by lust
Together like dust
Never will last