I’m losing my mind in the dark, dreary shadows,
destructive doors are closing everywhere in sight,
so many words I want to say, but when I open
my mouth, letters are scrambled, nothing makes sense,  
everything is on overload, flooded thoughts
traumatizing my brain, stressful nights intensifying
to unquestionable degrees, diminishing, falling
into the greatest depths of depression,
surrounded by colorless clouds,
state of mind shifting to suicide,
painful splinters piercing my inner existence,
irrelevance screaming and shouting,
unsettling depictions carved in jagged letters
across my stained skin, drowned, darkness
clouding my dreams, choking me in the shadowy,
flaming woods, swaying trees tumbling on my lifeless soul,
ferocious winds dragging me beyond the brutal crimson sea,
as waves upon waves devoured me, left on the cold, chilly ground,
breathing and wheezing, crying and moaning, sinking in my shattered ship.

She sits upon her terrace,
overlooking her life,
pondering and reflecting,
accepting and mourning,
smiling and frowning,

a colour of emotions
shining upon her face
like the greatest of
the suns rays.

With her head bowed
she realizes,
sometimes when you live,
to be of old age
often you live to see death,
coldest games.

When you live to be her age,
losing a child is a reality you must face,
sometimes you may lose them all,
because you outlived the times,

now she sits and waits,
for her time to come..

i think the ocean is alive and thinking
all the while
the ambivalent recollection in the mirror
looks at me and thinks
“yes i truly will love you forever”
i know so cause she told me.

It started in a coffee shop
Where you worked
Four days a week
And I knew the hours
I knew it with a deep visceral longing
With a terror and a joy
A forbidden pleasure that sickens me
And I tried very hard to let you be
But you took the town over
With the musk of a presence that I longed for with the whole of my being
All the while, the quiet and logical part of my disrupted mind reminded me that being near you was not appropriate
How I loathed that Vulcan presence
But I heeded it more or less.
And as you became attached to all the little places
In this quiet little town
I knew I had to leave
in order to let my violent need die
And now having lived in a far off state I sit at the SeaTac gates
And the old familiar clutch of deaths bony palm on my soft intestines squeezes, and a small anxious voice whispers
What if she gets out at this gate?
Do you now own the whole of Alaska?
If I find you move to Chicago
Will I quail at O'Haire
With the small chance that you're there?

I’ve lost friends to suicide
And I wish I knew the reason
But who am I to judge you
You’re not alone

You were my brother
So to me that’s treason
I only wish that
I could have been there
To have your back
And ease the slack
You’re not alone

I know you had the weight
Of the world
On your shoulders
They threw stones at you
But you threw boulders
You’re not alone

Growing colder than last season
I’m haunted by visions
Of you leaving
Eating at me
Being happy
Is a choice I force
Myself to make

Meanwhile with eyes closed
In the depths of the night
I lie awake
And picture myself
At the bottom of the lake
You’re not alone

I don’t mean to make them sad
I just had to mention that
No cry for attention
Was ever heard
Just a whispered lesson
Learned

The one I always keep
Repeating
For the quiet one
Who’s reading
You’re not alone

I remember when she wrote
LOVE
On her arms
Hoping that someone
Anyone
Would notice it
Reason why I wrote this ****
You’re not alone

In the darkest parts of the night
I hope you can find some light
To cope with it
You’re not alone

You’re not alone
You’re not alone
You’re not alone

You’re not alone

Pictures in my mind of you combine
Until I’m lost in the last trace
Of the lines on your face
And I forgot that I’m
Supposed to rhyme

The greatest moments are
When you somehow find
A way to stop time

When your lips meet mine
And I remember the taste
Of the very first time
We shared white wine

That was the day
We swore that
As long as were together
Everything
Would be fine

I see better through the clouds
And I can see now
That you always were
My silver line